joeconrad

Hey all,

This looks like an active thread with friendly people, so I thought I’d start posting myself as I begin a 30-day experiment with sobriety. I have a feeling I'll be much better off if I never drink again, but for now 30 days is my goal. I had originally planned to start on November 1st, but then recalled I had previous plans to start on 8/1 and 9/1 and 10/1 (you get the idea). Pathetic. So 10/19 is just as good a day as any other.

I know I have a problem, and I know I’m very fortunate to not have ruined any relationships, lost my job, or gotten into any legal troubles YET.

400mL of vodka a day is slowing killing me and preventing me from reaching my full potential. At least I hope I have some untapped potential that will spring forth from me when free of the daily V.

I can’t subscribe to the AA model of recovery (no offense to people who have used it with success), so I’m going to give it a go by myself for now.

Thanks for reading.

ast1

Welcome Joe!

Carver

Welcome! Good to have you here

Hevyn

It's great to meet you, Joe! You've made a wise decision. It really helped me to be able to talk things over here. You can do it.

Soberwolf

Welcome Joe nice to meet you

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum JoeConrad!!

Your story reads similar to mine, alcohol was taking away my potential, and I became increasingly aware of it over time as I began to drink more and more, and with more frequency.

You can do this, and you'll find loads of support here on SR!!

sydneyman

Hey Joeconrad. You come to a good place. I am not an AA person myself and I get the support here on SR. I also got sick and tired if being sick and tired and not able to do anything without my best friend, the bottle.. It controlled everything I did. All appointments I made had to be in the morning as I would be wasted after lunch time.. I was a fucntioning alcoholic, never drank at work but when I got jone and weekends a totally different story.. Weekends were constantly a total write off. I drank before sunrise and well into the evening with a couple of "naps" in between. I gave my partner a horrible life but he has stuck by me.. Enough was enough, been sober 15 days today and feel like a new person. Early days of course but it is such a good feeling to wake up without a hangover and function like any non alcoholic person.. Weekends were the hardest as I had all that time on my hands. I survived by beeing busy, getting out of the house.. I quite enjoy my sober self.. If you really really want to do this you can. Replace that drinking behaviour with something else. For me its been replacing it with walking and looking after my diet. Good luck!!!

emme99

Hi & Welcome Joe

Jsbodhi

Hi! Welcome xx

least

Welcome to the family. I hope the support here can help you get sober for good.

Anna

Welcome!

You don't need to do this on your own simply because you don't want to use AA. Here is some information for you:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

joeconrad

Thanks so much for the warm welcome everyone. So do I tell my girlfriend with whom I live that I have a drinking problem? I think I've been able to conceal it from her for the most part and would rather not have to admit this as it makes me feel very weak. I could just tell her I'm taking a break from drinking for a while, and then extend the break indefinitely. She likes to drink fairly regularly, but I don't think she'll have a problem with me abstaining.

joeconrad

Thanks, Anna, for the helpful link. And thanks sydneyman for sharing part of your story. I think the longest I've gone without drinking in over 10 years is 12 days in January of this year. I felt great not drinking, but of course then I felt like since I could stop for almost 2 weeks, I might as well start again. Yeah that makes a lot of sense.

Coldfusion

Wow, Joe!

Thanks for coming back and checking on your thread. I hope to hear more from you here at SoberRecovery. Read around and post often!

Dee74

Hi and welcome Joe

I think it's up to you about your girlfriend - you can get sober and stay that way irrespective of whether you tell her or not.

you live with her tho, right? do you really think you've been able to hide it that well?

D

littlefish

I didn't ruin any relationships, lose my job, or get into any legal troubles either. But as you mention, ....
That.
Alcoholism had me stumbling at the starting gate; while everyone else was racing to reach their goals in life, I was making C's and D's in school, showing up late for work and missing job interviews. Alcohol replaced ambition with nonchalance and excuses to myself.
There are those who have a dramatic decline, the car chases, jail time, all that. But there are those of us who fail to notice that alcohol slowly steals away those things we simply cannot replace: our health and time.
I felt a huge amount of reluctance and shame in the face of sharing my fears about my alcoholism with my husband. But, of course, he already knew.
When I did finally bring it up, I felt like the weight of the world was lifted from my shoulders.
Not talking about it is keeping it a secret: secrets in relationships tend to create separation and distance. I would bring it up. You probably will be pleasantly surprised that she appreciates your honesty and is interested in being supportive.

Soberwolf

Glad your bk with us you can do this

joeconrad

Dee74, you're probably right. I likely haven't been as skilled at hiding my excessive drinking as I think I have. I suppose that's a common characteristic of problem drinkers, right? We think we're keeping things under control and hiding our problem, but the people around us aren't fooled.

I've only really been really living with my girlfriend for a month or so now. We bought a house together back in February of this year, but due to remodeling and other circumstances I've continued to live at my other house a mile way. That house has been my drinking house. I'd tell my girlfriend that I was going to game or watch sports with friends when in fact I would go to my house and hit the bottle(s).

Looking at my expenses for the past several years, I can see that my liquor consumption began to drastically increase in mid-2011 after my ex-wife and I broke up (again) after a 3 year reconciliation (2008 to 2011) following a 2006 divorce. It's crazy to think that I've been drinking myself sick for more than 4 years now. And even before 2011 I know I was exhibiting symptoms such as hiding bottles, drinking alone, etc. Back then my tolerance was pretty normal so I wasn't polishing off nearly as much on a nightly basis.

Littlefish, you make a very valid point. I should tell my girlfriend. She has asked me about my drinking a handful of times over the last couple of years, and I lied a couple of times and admitted that I needed to cut back another time. I think I'll make it 30 days sober and then tell her that I need to continue with a serious and lasting lifestyle change. I'd rather prove to myself I can live sober before telling her. We have a trip to Italy planned for February, and she's mentioned several times all the great wine we're going to drink. Ugh.

joeconrad

2 days (and nights) in, and I'm feeling pretty good. My girlfriend poured herself a huge glass of wine last night, and for a moment I heard the alcoholic voice tell me the usual "hey, one glass won't hurt, you deserve it". Thankfully, I silenced the voice quickly. I'm a little anxious about a weekend trip we're taking to Baltimore next week. There will definitely be abundant drinks consumed at dinners (and lunches). My plan is to opt out by saying that I'm trying to lose weight, which is true. If people press me to have a drink, I'll just say that I'm taking a break. I'm not good friends with the people we're visiting, so I don't wish to go into any further details.