Newbie hello
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 8
Newbie hello
Hello there - I feel so pleased to have found this place and already feel helped by looking around the forum and have had my heart warmed by the kindness of other members. This is a bit of a big step for me as I don't usually like to raise my head above the parapet or talk publicly about what is going on for me. But today is the start of recognising my alcohol dependency and changing my life...
I tend to binge drink maybe once a week rather than drinking each day but once I start I struggle to stop. I live alone and so find it hard to keep things in check when I do start. I know one of my triggers is to drink to help numb feelings of lonliness despite having some lovely people in my life. I would really like to hear any advice or support from others who have had this drinking pattern and what you did to stop.
Thank you -thank you
I tend to binge drink maybe once a week rather than drinking each day but once I start I struggle to stop. I live alone and so find it hard to keep things in check when I do start. I know one of my triggers is to drink to help numb feelings of lonliness despite having some lovely people in my life. I would really like to hear any advice or support from others who have had this drinking pattern and what you did to stop.
Thank you -thank you
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome to SR! You'll find a lot of support and understanding here, and many of us drank to try and numb something out of our life. Unfortunately it didn't work...hence our quest for sobriety! As far as suggestions go, i'd say read some more and see if any of the recovery methods/plans make sense. And don't be afraid to ask questions.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,444
Welcome!
Many of us drink to numb our feelings and not deal with things in our lives. The first thing, of course, is to get rid of alcohol in the house and focus on staying sober. Then, you can make a plan to help you to deal with your feelings of loneliness. I had to learn to be comfortable with myself, alone. It wasn't easy, but I know it can be done.
Many of us drink to numb our feelings and not deal with things in our lives. The first thing, of course, is to get rid of alcohol in the house and focus on staying sober. Then, you can make a plan to help you to deal with your feelings of loneliness. I had to learn to be comfortable with myself, alone. It wasn't easy, but I know it can be done.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,285
Welcome!
Yes, loneliness is a challenge. I've had a hard time with that. Some days it could be very tough to drag myself out. If it's available near you and isn't way out of budget, subscribing to a series of concerts, plays and/or lectures can help. Team sports, gym, hobby groups, other classes, etc. can help.
In my case, I was retired and decided to move to a retirement community. That provides a good deal of "people time" with little effort. When I was still working, it was harder.
Yes, loneliness is a challenge. I've had a hard time with that. Some days it could be very tough to drag myself out. If it's available near you and isn't way out of budget, subscribing to a series of concerts, plays and/or lectures can help. Team sports, gym, hobby groups, other classes, etc. can help.
In my case, I was retired and decided to move to a retirement community. That provides a good deal of "people time" with little effort. When I was still working, it was harder.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: St. Pete Beach
Posts: 35
Hi there, welcome. You sound a lot like me. I've been posting for about a week now. I'm not a daily drinker but when i drink i have no control. I struggle with loneliness too and this site has been helping me feel not so alone. Think about thinks you used to love to do before drinking and try starting them up again. I am planning to play the piano again, read some of the books i've been meaning to for years and generally try to enjoy a calmer existence so that i stop craving the mayhem. Very much a work in progress but we can do it!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
Posts: 4,136
Originally Posted by todayisanewday 
Hello there - I feel so pleased to have found this place and already feel helped by looking around the forum and have had my heart warmed by the kindness of other members. This is a bit of a big step for me as I don't usually like to raise my head above the parapet or talk publicly about what is going on for me. But today is the start of recognising my alcohol dependency and changing my life...
I tend to binge drink maybe once a week rather than drinking each day but once I start I struggle to stop. I live alone and so find it hard to keep things in check when I do start. I know one of my triggers is to drink to help numb feelings of lonliness despite having some lovely people in my life. I would really like to hear any advice or support from others who have had this drinking pattern and what you did to stop.
Thank you -thank you
I tend to binge drink maybe once a week rather than drinking each day but once I start I struggle to stop. I live alone and so find it hard to keep things in check when I do start. I know one of my triggers is to drink to help numb feelings of lonliness despite having some lovely people in my life. I would really like to hear any advice or support from others who have had this drinking pattern and what you did to stop.
Thank you -thank you
Changing your life.
Loneliness.
How to stop.
Believe it or not you are already in the PROCESS of changing your life just by trying to stop and recognizing a need to stop. What helped me stop is I am extremely health conscious and knew drinking was bad for my health.
I also took and good look at WHY I drank? What good reason was there? Oh sure...there was that 'sweet spot' you hit when you drink...that 'feeling good' stage. But other than that, there weren't any good reason and more reasons not to drink manifested...
CHANGE is not always an easy process...in fact I'm going to go so far as to say true lasting life-change can be somewhat uncomfortable or even downright painful. But what comes out of good change is an amazing thing that might almost feel like a MIRACLE! (a metamorphisis?) Remember the darkest hour is before dawn and just when the caterpillar thought it was all over it changed into a butterfly.
LONELINESS-Hmmm. That can be a tough one...but I have found that some of the greatest changes in my life were around those times that I had gone through a lonely stage. People are great, but sometimes they intrude on your metamorphisis. You need to be doing this for YOU not for anyone else, and irregardless of other people. You will make new friends that aren't associated with your drinking, but it will take some time and I say be picky about the new friends you make. It might be tempting to make friends out of desperation due to your loneliness. You need people in your life who are going to be a healthy influence.
HOW TO STOP-Maybe you just need a little more incentive. Do you care about your physical, emotional, and spiritual health? If so, that is a huge incentive. Do you want to stop spending money on something that doesn't last, doesn't hold up and just causes you to be unhealthy? Do you like what drinking is doing to your body? Another thing that might help is to set some GOALS. I don't know if you are a goal-oriented person, but whether you are or not, I think it helps to set some goals in your life of what you wish to accomplish and then set your face like flint to reach those goals. When you set your goals ask yourself how you will feel once you have reached them.
Is PEACE the best outcome? For most of us it is. So, what is it you need to do to have peace in your life? I can almost guarantee you that the moment you surrender to God you will feel peace, even if you haven't reached your goals yet. You need to be surrendering on a daily basis. Peace is an amazing thing, it really is. And then, peace and joy combined feel like BLISS.
Blessed Be...
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Rainier, Washington
Posts: 32
I was a daily drinker until today. Going to be a major life change for me. It's going to be great to NOT go the store for a bottle today. I know it's one day at a time but I have been reading some of your success stories and I'm excited to experience some of the same results. Plus not spending so much money every day makes me feel great. All the best to all of you. WE CAN DO IT!
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Welcome Todayisanewday youl find lots of great advice, reading material on sobriety, friendship, guidance & support
Nice to meet you
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ful-links.html
Nice to meet you
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ful-links.html
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 8
Thank you all so much for your thoughtful comments - I feel really touched that you've taken the time to reply with such depth and thought.
I like the idea of setting goals - my goal today was to throw out all the alcohol in the house and I've done that. Tomorrow I'm going to eat a healthy meal and make plans to visit a (non-drinking) friend at the weekend.
I feel inspired where earlier I just felt a bit scared - so thank you so much x
I like the idea of setting goals - my goal today was to throw out all the alcohol in the house and I've done that. Tomorrow I'm going to eat a healthy meal and make plans to visit a (non-drinking) friend at the weekend.
I feel inspired where earlier I just felt a bit scared - so thank you so much x
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,313
I'm glad you found us todayisanewday - welcome 
Have you considered AA or some other meeting based approach - that brings you into contact with other sober folk and may help with your loneliness?
D
Have you considered AA or some other meeting based approach - that brings you into contact with other sober folk and may help with your loneliness?
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 8
Hello all - thanks for your welcomes.
Dee - thanks for that advice about AA meetings. Truthfully I feel quite scared about attending one. I think that is because I've only just admitted to myself that I have a problem and that step of going to the meetings feels a big one at the moment...
Dee - thanks for that advice about AA meetings. Truthfully I feel quite scared about attending one. I think that is because I've only just admitted to myself that I have a problem and that step of going to the meetings feels a big one at the moment...
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