Those damn triggers
Sober since 1st January 2016
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Liverpool
Posts: 58
Those damn triggers
On my 8th dry day here and thinking that I've been here so many times before, then something triggers me to drink and I'm back to square one. It's just occurred to me that I've never thought about what actual triggers I have, so (if it's alright with everyone), I'll brain dump them here:
- driving home on a Friday night. AV: "It's been a hard week, it'll be a massive buzz to have a few drinks, no work tomorrow"
- finishing a round of golf knowing your partners will be having a pint and pretty much everyone else in the clubhouse.
- going on Facebook. I can't describe why but messaging and posting just makes me want a drink. Perhaps this is a 'virtual bar' on sorts? It's bizarre
- watching TV. My partner has a glass of wine (which doesn't bother me... I think...) and we watch telly. I find this quite boring sometimes and think that it would be much better if I was drunk. This might be a massive issue actually now I think about it.
- after exercise. I think the endorphins after a run make me feel like I've earned a few drinks.
- completing any project. The sense of achievement again makes me want to get drunk
- talking to friends. We always end a phone conversation with "when are we having a beer?". I don't now obviously, but the mere act of talking to a mate brings a massive urge on to have a drink after the phone is hung up.
There are loads there but it's weird that stress isn't one any more. I've had too many shocking hangovers to know that stress comes back 10X more powerful.
(I'm not sure why I've listed all of this. I think I need a plan to dodge each trigger as it comes, but also am I missing any blatant triggers that I'm subconsciously ignoring).
Again I'm relatively new to SR - are there any good resources to look at regarding triggers?
- driving home on a Friday night. AV: "It's been a hard week, it'll be a massive buzz to have a few drinks, no work tomorrow"
- finishing a round of golf knowing your partners will be having a pint and pretty much everyone else in the clubhouse.
- going on Facebook. I can't describe why but messaging and posting just makes me want a drink. Perhaps this is a 'virtual bar' on sorts? It's bizarre
- watching TV. My partner has a glass of wine (which doesn't bother me... I think...) and we watch telly. I find this quite boring sometimes and think that it would be much better if I was drunk. This might be a massive issue actually now I think about it.
- after exercise. I think the endorphins after a run make me feel like I've earned a few drinks.
- completing any project. The sense of achievement again makes me want to get drunk
- talking to friends. We always end a phone conversation with "when are we having a beer?". I don't now obviously, but the mere act of talking to a mate brings a massive urge on to have a drink after the phone is hung up.
There are loads there but it's weird that stress isn't one any more. I've had too many shocking hangovers to know that stress comes back 10X more powerful.
(I'm not sure why I've listed all of this. I think I need a plan to dodge each trigger as it comes, but also am I missing any blatant triggers that I'm subconsciously ignoring).
Again I'm relatively new to SR - are there any good resources to look at regarding triggers?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,472
Everyone is different but for me, the book Rational Recovery was a huge tool in my recovery. It teaches Addictive Voice Recognition Technique (AVRT) and how to recognize your AV and shut it down. It's worth a read as it gives you the tools to recognize your triggers and helps you learn how to shut them down using AVRT. Welcome to SR!
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
For an alcoholic anything can be a "trigger". Nice weather? Drink to enjoy it. Bad weather? Drink to avoid it. Happy? Drink to celebrate. Sad? Drink to console. You get the point, right?
Rather than trying to identify specific situations that bring on cravings/"triggers"/etc, I think it's more important to identify that they all simply cause THOUGTS in our minds. The event itself is not the cause of the drinking, it is how we react to the THOUGT of drinking, no matter where it comes from.
That's where having a plan comes in, especially in early sobriety. You have already taken a step in the right direction by coming here and asking for help, which you can do 24/7 if you need to. If you are in AA/NA you can call numbers or your sponsor or go to a meeting. You can also exercise, read, cook, sleep, plant a tree, ride a bike or many other things except drink.
Rather than trying to identify specific situations that bring on cravings/"triggers"/etc, I think it's more important to identify that they all simply cause THOUGTS in our minds. The event itself is not the cause of the drinking, it is how we react to the THOUGT of drinking, no matter where it comes from.
That's where having a plan comes in, especially in early sobriety. You have already taken a step in the right direction by coming here and asking for help, which you can do 24/7 if you need to. If you are in AA/NA you can call numbers or your sponsor or go to a meeting. You can also exercise, read, cook, sleep, plant a tree, ride a bike or many other things except drink.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Here is a link to a lot of great info about Urge Surfing: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: canada
Posts: 748
ScottFromWI pretty much nailed it. A plan is essential, and you've made a good start on your plan. One thing that has worked for me is to identify which triggers I can avoid. Some can be avoided permanently, some occasionally and some can't be avoided.
You can have a plan for your triggers, expected or unexpected. Like you, coming home from work on Friday was a big trigger. I walk to and from work, and what worked for me was to call my sponsor and chat during the walk home. We didn't even specifically talk about recovery; it just took my mind off the craving. Once I was home and past the liquor store I was fine.
It may seem impossible now, but those triggers and cravings do fade away over time. I still get the odd "surprise" attack out of nowhere once in a great while, but I still use the tried and true plan: I call or text my sponsor right on the spot. If the sponsor isn't available I use my phone app to hop onto SR. If the craving is one of those "super power" ones, I go for a walk and literally count out my steps aloud, "One...two...three...." to focus my mind on something else while the craving rages in the background. That last scenario doesn't happen anymore (knock on wood), but it was fairly common in the early days.
You can have a plan for your triggers, expected or unexpected. Like you, coming home from work on Friday was a big trigger. I walk to and from work, and what worked for me was to call my sponsor and chat during the walk home. We didn't even specifically talk about recovery; it just took my mind off the craving. Once I was home and past the liquor store I was fine.
It may seem impossible now, but those triggers and cravings do fade away over time. I still get the odd "surprise" attack out of nowhere once in a great while, but I still use the tried and true plan: I call or text my sponsor right on the spot. If the sponsor isn't available I use my phone app to hop onto SR. If the craving is one of those "super power" ones, I go for a walk and literally count out my steps aloud, "One...two...three...." to focus my mind on something else while the craving rages in the background. That last scenario doesn't happen anymore (knock on wood), but it was fairly common in the early days.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ful-links.html
Congrats on day 8 a good way of starving the AV is through gratitude
Keep up your good work
Congrats on day 8 a good way of starving the AV is through gratitude
Keep up your good work
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Leeds, UK
Posts: 5
Now then Gerd,
As Scott mentioned, for a drinker, anything can be a trigger. Alcohol forms a central place in an alcoholic's life - an agreeable event calls for celebration with a drink, and a difficulty calls for consolation from a drink. It gets better in recovery, drinking rarely enters my head in this way anymore.
Then there's the social side, which is where I have slipped up in the past. I think it's a wanting to fit in. But I found I was blowing things out of proportion in my head. Some people I've told I don't drink, others I make excuses - it depends on the person and which will be easiest. I met a friend (in a pub, of course!) I haven't seen in a while on Sunday as he wanted to meet up 'for a couple of beers'. I told him I'd drank enough over the weekend (a white lie) and stuck to lemonade. No problem. Other people I just tell them I don't drink, my body's a temple or something.
The Rational Recovery book sounds good - I might check it out myself.
As Scott mentioned, for a drinker, anything can be a trigger. Alcohol forms a central place in an alcoholic's life - an agreeable event calls for celebration with a drink, and a difficulty calls for consolation from a drink. It gets better in recovery, drinking rarely enters my head in this way anymore.
Then there's the social side, which is where I have slipped up in the past. I think it's a wanting to fit in. But I found I was blowing things out of proportion in my head. Some people I've told I don't drink, others I make excuses - it depends on the person and which will be easiest. I met a friend (in a pub, of course!) I haven't seen in a while on Sunday as he wanted to meet up 'for a couple of beers'. I told him I'd drank enough over the weekend (a white lie) and stuck to lemonade. No problem. Other people I just tell them I don't drink, my body's a temple or something.
The Rational Recovery book sounds good - I might check it out myself.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Glad you're here - welcome. Many of us did the merry go round for a long time - stop/start, get a little sober time - think we can have a few and drink again. The cycle for me continued until I accepted I couldn't drink anymore.
Good day or bad, job or no job - wife or no wife - I cannot drink because it will mean returning to the merry go round and dying prematurely or worse........
Triggers are excuses to drink = just thoughts or emotions. We give into them when we have not reached the point of acceptance of both our problem and the solution. Many will do the first part but not the second.
Thanks
Good day or bad, job or no job - wife or no wife - I cannot drink because it will mean returning to the merry go round and dying prematurely or worse........
Triggers are excuses to drink = just thoughts or emotions. We give into them when we have not reached the point of acceptance of both our problem and the solution. Many will do the first part but not the second.
Thanks
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
Posts: 4,136
good catch
Originally Posted by GerdMuller 
(I'm not sure why I've listed all of this. I think I need a plan to dodge each trigger as it comes, but also am I missing any blatant triggers that I'm subconsciously ignoring).
Again I'm relatively new to SR - are there any good resources to look at regarding triggers?
Ahhhh...those subconscious triggers! Very astute pondering. I believe there is something to that! So then, the challenge might be how to get in tune with the subconscious. Because if something is subconscious that indicates we may not even be aware of it...hmmm...so perhaps awareness and enlightenment are needful.
Thanks for bringing this concept up.
Blessed Be
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,351
I have to admit that, like scott, trigger became a meaningless word for me by the end - if I was awake, I could find reasons to drink.
Nevertheless, this link is great at helping you identify what areas are problematic for you and what you might want to do about them.
https://store.samhsa.gov/shin/conten...0/SMA-3720.pdf
D
Nevertheless, this link is great at helping you identify what areas are problematic for you and what you might want to do about them.
https://store.samhsa.gov/shin/conten...0/SMA-3720.pdf
D
Professional zombie fighter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 341
Hello gerd! I'm barely sober (1 month today), but I've been thinking a lot about triggers this month.
Have you tried writing out a plan for dealing with each trigger? I find it useful to ask, When I want a drink in response to this trigger, what is it I REALLY want?
Like if I want a drink because I want to celebrate an accomplishment, what I really want is the celebration, right? So find a new way to celebrate. Or if I want to drink because I feel judged (that's one of my triggers), it means I don't want to feel judged anymore: So I either consider correcting what I was judged about, or confronting the person who judged me if they we're being unfair.
I'm looking for new ways to accomplish each of the ends my addicted brain thinks alcohol accomplishes (since I know it doesn't, really).
It also helps (as others have said) to just have a list of tools to pull out when you're triggered in general, regardless of what triggered you.
That's my .02 cents.
Have you tried writing out a plan for dealing with each trigger? I find it useful to ask, When I want a drink in response to this trigger, what is it I REALLY want?
Like if I want a drink because I want to celebrate an accomplishment, what I really want is the celebration, right? So find a new way to celebrate. Or if I want to drink because I feel judged (that's one of my triggers), it means I don't want to feel judged anymore: So I either consider correcting what I was judged about, or confronting the person who judged me if they we're being unfair.
I'm looking for new ways to accomplish each of the ends my addicted brain thinks alcohol accomplishes (since I know it doesn't, really).
It also helps (as others have said) to just have a list of tools to pull out when you're triggered in general, regardless of what triggered you.
That's my .02 cents.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Botswana
Posts: 384
Ditto everything that has been said.
You are going to hear those triggers clicking wherever you look ( or think ) for a while, and it is just a matter of facing down the intrusive thoughts with your own logic until they pass ( which they do - and often rather quickly ).
AVRT helped me a lot in the very early days - basically the premise as I understand and use it, goes like this;
" I " have decided that I am not gong to drink alcohol, no matter what.
Therefore any thought that suggest drinking alcohol cannot be "me" because I have already decided and stated I do not want to do that.
The thought is likely bro be coming from my Addictive Voice (AV) which wants only to consume as much alcohol as possible.
The AV does not care about me. So long as it gets what it wants it doesn't matter how much I suffer. In reality it doesn't care if I die. It does not know what death is.
But I know that this AV is only a thought. It cannot move my limbs nor operate my vocal chords. The only way it can get alcohol is if I get it on its behalf.
But I am not going to do that. Because I - the real me - have stated I do not wish to drink alcohol, no matter what.
And, yes, changing location, or activity helps to change the thought too.
I'm finding it easier now I can measure my sobriety in terms of months rather than days, but this logical process helps me every time that sneaky AV makes an appearance.
Congratulations on eight days. That is massive.
Go well,
Fradley
You are going to hear those triggers clicking wherever you look ( or think ) for a while, and it is just a matter of facing down the intrusive thoughts with your own logic until they pass ( which they do - and often rather quickly ).
AVRT helped me a lot in the very early days - basically the premise as I understand and use it, goes like this;
" I " have decided that I am not gong to drink alcohol, no matter what.
Therefore any thought that suggest drinking alcohol cannot be "me" because I have already decided and stated I do not want to do that.
The thought is likely bro be coming from my Addictive Voice (AV) which wants only to consume as much alcohol as possible.
The AV does not care about me. So long as it gets what it wants it doesn't matter how much I suffer. In reality it doesn't care if I die. It does not know what death is.
But I know that this AV is only a thought. It cannot move my limbs nor operate my vocal chords. The only way it can get alcohol is if I get it on its behalf.
But I am not going to do that. Because I - the real me - have stated I do not wish to drink alcohol, no matter what.
And, yes, changing location, or activity helps to change the thought too.
I'm finding it easier now I can measure my sobriety in terms of months rather than days, but this logical process helps me every time that sneaky AV makes an appearance.
Congratulations on eight days. That is massive.
Go well,
Fradley
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
