Newcomer; Introduction/background
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: redmond oregon
Posts: 4
Newcomer; Introduction/background
Hi! I'm Vanisha and I'm an addict!
I started "hanging out" with Crystal early 2013. I had a few drinks, ended up getting the spins, a friend of a friend asked everyone if we wanted some. I Drunkenly said "yeah", not knowing what SOME was. I had came to for a second, long enough to pay attention to what I was looking at and hearing about. Was asked again. I said yeah, even now knowing what it was. Being a complete newbie all I stepped forward with was lungs. Last I knew it was 10 p.m and I was getting ******. Next? It was 6:30 a.m and I was shuffling cards playing speed. Monthish went by and I was looking for Crystal. Crystal was around majority of 2013. Damn near day in day out. She came to us. Or we went to her. 2014 we didn't see as MUCH of Crystal as the year prior, but we still saw her quite a bit. Took off out of town for a month. I bet I didn't sleep for more than 24 hours that whole month! Things got horrible. To where I thought I'd end up in a state hospital! I'd had a warrant out for 6 months. And when I got back to town, a family member turned me in. I'll forever be grateful they did that. Probably, no I know, it saved my life! Got out and few weeks later, there was Crystal again. I set a boundary that we were only to hang out on weekends. We listened. I graduated my drug and alcohol classes (after 4 1/2 years). Graduated another required class to (can't remember name). Graduated DUII classes. Was getting good with family again. Was acting right. Then Feb 2015 came along. Boy did something snap in me to where I didn't give a second thought to anything or anyone. Was given MANY chances by my P.O. Blew my last chance few months ago. Was honest that my u.a was going to be dirty for Crystal and alcohol. A search was followed by my arrest. And an empty baggy was found. I was 3 rum and cokes down and totally spaced I put it there before we got in car. Got 30 days jail 12 months post prison. I would of been off May '16 but now it's Sept'16.. No biggie to me. What's a few now months on top of the 5 years I've done. When I realized I have a PCS on my record now, it hit me that mine and Crystals relationship could be no more. I couldn't keep pushing buttons. Something had to change. I had to change. For myself. For my daughter. And for my younger siblings. I am still looking for inpatient treatment nearby my residence. I am going to N.A meetings willingly, (huge change for me, I wouldn't give it a single thought a year ago.) I'm reaching out for help. Active in counseling.
I know this is only the beginning to a long road. But it's a beautiful start. I'm trying this time. I had my years of "Fun" with Crystal. It's time to move on. She just wasn't cutting it anymore. Out with the old in with the new. I'm proud of where I am now. In hopes I can go further in life and recovery.
And if you've read this far, I thank you so much. There is, I'm sure bits and pieces out, but it takes me alot to tell it all nd to others. Maybe one day I will speak in a meeting. Again I thank you if you read it all, as boring as it might of been. Lol
Thanks.
I started "hanging out" with Crystal early 2013. I had a few drinks, ended up getting the spins, a friend of a friend asked everyone if we wanted some. I Drunkenly said "yeah", not knowing what SOME was. I had came to for a second, long enough to pay attention to what I was looking at and hearing about. Was asked again. I said yeah, even now knowing what it was. Being a complete newbie all I stepped forward with was lungs. Last I knew it was 10 p.m and I was getting ******. Next? It was 6:30 a.m and I was shuffling cards playing speed. Monthish went by and I was looking for Crystal. Crystal was around majority of 2013. Damn near day in day out. She came to us. Or we went to her. 2014 we didn't see as MUCH of Crystal as the year prior, but we still saw her quite a bit. Took off out of town for a month. I bet I didn't sleep for more than 24 hours that whole month! Things got horrible. To where I thought I'd end up in a state hospital! I'd had a warrant out for 6 months. And when I got back to town, a family member turned me in. I'll forever be grateful they did that. Probably, no I know, it saved my life! Got out and few weeks later, there was Crystal again. I set a boundary that we were only to hang out on weekends. We listened. I graduated my drug and alcohol classes (after 4 1/2 years). Graduated another required class to (can't remember name). Graduated DUII classes. Was getting good with family again. Was acting right. Then Feb 2015 came along. Boy did something snap in me to where I didn't give a second thought to anything or anyone. Was given MANY chances by my P.O. Blew my last chance few months ago. Was honest that my u.a was going to be dirty for Crystal and alcohol. A search was followed by my arrest. And an empty baggy was found. I was 3 rum and cokes down and totally spaced I put it there before we got in car. Got 30 days jail 12 months post prison. I would of been off May '16 but now it's Sept'16.. No biggie to me. What's a few now months on top of the 5 years I've done. When I realized I have a PCS on my record now, it hit me that mine and Crystals relationship could be no more. I couldn't keep pushing buttons. Something had to change. I had to change. For myself. For my daughter. And for my younger siblings. I am still looking for inpatient treatment nearby my residence. I am going to N.A meetings willingly, (huge change for me, I wouldn't give it a single thought a year ago.) I'm reaching out for help. Active in counseling.
I know this is only the beginning to a long road. But it's a beautiful start. I'm trying this time. I had my years of "Fun" with Crystal. It's time to move on. She just wasn't cutting it anymore. Out with the old in with the new. I'm proud of where I am now. In hopes I can go further in life and recovery.
And if you've read this far, I thank you so much. There is, I'm sure bits and pieces out, but it takes me alot to tell it all nd to others. Maybe one day I will speak in a meeting. Again I thank you if you read it all, as boring as it might of been. Lol Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Welcome Vanisha, it sounds like you are already taking a lot of positive steps. I read in your other post you are 63 days clean, that is amazing and you should be very proud. I've got two sons and they are one of my biggest motivators. Keep your daughter in mind if you ever start to feel weak. She deserves to have a good, clear headed mamma who takes care of herself. Keep reading and posting, SR is a great source of support.
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