ulfr

Am feeling kinda off at the moment
went to a meeting last night and i talked the biggest pile of crap because i couldn't great my mouth to say what i wanted to say because i get nervous talking at the meeting i am only going to meeting once a week i know i should be going to more but my nervousness takes over and my husband will not take me to any other meeting as he has to wait around for me while am in there and he has nothing to do while he waits ( am thinking about buying him a psp ( its a portable game thing) for Christmas if we have the money)
anyway i cought one of the people what runs the group and talked to her about my nervousness and the fact that i want a sponcer to go throught doing the steps with me and that .
Am going out today to an art gallery with people from the LGBT group its all men or non binary people
should be good am looking forward to this i love art but am not a good artist myself .
unsure why am feeling like this
one thing is am tired of not being able to have money or to go out on my own
my husband is too scared that i may buy things i could harm myself with or that id end up killing myself buying going to the train station and jumping the line
i really need to talk to my husband about this wish me luck

Berrybean

Hmmm - I think if you really wanted to kill yourself, you'd find a way round him somehow. Do you feel that this relationship has developed healthily? It sounds a bit codependent to me which makes me wonder if he might benefit from Alanon himself. He is putting a huge amount of stress on himself if he is feeling that he is responsible for you, and it is his job to protect you from yourself. Being supportive is one thing, but restricting your freedom isn't good.

Could you chat to your GP about this?

ulfr

My husband has been to alanon he said it wasnt for him he didnt like it at all
I said something to my husband last night about it
he is also my carer as well as my husband
my mental health has gotten so bad over the years
there are carers groups that i want him to get help with but its unlikely that he will ask them for help.

I am scared that something will happen to him
i love him so much

we can talk to my gp about it i have an appointment with my dr soon

Soberwolf

Best wishes

Dee74

I think for the moment it's for the best to leave things like money in your husbands hands...from what you post, he's always seemed to have your best interests at heart...when you feeling better that carer role can change, DM ?

I'm glad you're seeing your GP

D

PurpleKnight

Hang in there DeathMental!!

ladyboo

DeathMental: I have been wondering how you are- glad to hear from you- & to hear that you are, at least, in a better place mentally than you were! Best of luck to you on your journey!

Anna

I am glad that your husband is looking out for you.

saoutchik

I don't attend AA meetings so am not the most reliable person to be saying this but if you feel nervous about speaking publicly (and most people are I would say) then you can pass when it comes to your turn or, if there is something you really want to say then write it down on paper or computer - like an SR post I guess