Stewy84

Things with my girlfriend seem to be getting on top of me. We talked through some stuff and sorted it. Then fell out again. I came home from work yesterday to find her sat on the couch in her pyjamas said she got sent home from work. She was saying that she didn't feel mentally well and was having bad thoughts, she didn't feel safe in the house and that she missed her dad (who died when she was 6). She said she was going to her doctors and she was not stable. I made her a drink , comforted her and offered her some tea and she was fine after that. It was like a switch going on and off.

I'm starting to think this bad patch is down to me. I think I may be contributing to it not working but I find it tough sometimes. I've been feeling very flat the last couple of days a bit like the time I was off work some of you will remember for 4 months. I have a doctors appointment tomorrow morning to review anti depressant medication as I've been on a half dose for a month as I asked to come off this type due to some bad side effects.

Again I know this isn't strictly alcohol related. In some ways it relates to my back story though. A year ago I would not be even aware of such issues as I was too out of it to notice most times.

Stewy

ast1

Sorry to hear your going through a rough patch. Hope things will get better. Make sure she sees her Dr. Hope your Dr appt going s well.

FreeOwl

No.

You are not responsible for another person's mental well-being.

Certainly, it is valid to ask yourself how you might contribute to a loved one's well being or how your own choices and actions may influence another's experience - but you are NOT responsible for her inner world, her experience or her response to it.

Do you have anyone that YOU can talk with? A qualified counselor? Is SHE seeing a counselor? Could you go together?

When our partners are going through a rough time, we often need to ensure we are well supported - as the best way to support them.

Also - you made her a drink and she was fine after that?

Uhm.... YELLOW LIGHT.

Tooshabby

(((Stewy)))....how did it go at the doctor's?

FeelingGreat

Stewy I like the way you handled it when your GF was feeling so down. It shows such a caring part of your personality. I hope you both start making progress and treat each other with such kindness. I'm sure it helped her a lot.

Stewy84

Thanks ast1

Stewy84

She has mentioned about accessing counselling before but never pursued it.

I had counselling a few months ago, it was someone to talk to really, I didn't "open up" or "uncover anything" so to speak

I don't understand the yellow light? I didn't give her an alcoholic drink if you mean that, I thought I was helping by making her a cup of tea!

Stewy84

I'm going in the morning, will post update

Stewy84

Thanks, I sometimes think I ought to make more efforts. I get so bogged down with my job and responsibilities I'm so tired when I get home and I feel like I'm forever doing chores

Soberwolf

Sorry things are difficult at the moment Stewy hopefully you can both resolve this through talking ?

Sending my best wishes Stewy if you feel like talking drop a pm your a good person Stewy

ccam1973

Be well Stewy.

Sorry you are going through a rough patch. Talk things over with your Dr tomorrow. Bottom line is you've got to take care of you before you can tend to others.

FeelingGreat

Even a small effort is often appreciated if it shows caring.

As for chores; my son, when he was living with me, would shoo me out for take-away, put on the music and go for it. He'd get the basic cleaning done in about 1/2 the time because he treated it like an industrial job. Taught me a lot about how I used to string the jobs out.
Then the rest of the night was feet up with take-away.

MythOfSisyphus

Wishing you well, Stewey!

Stewy84

She said I'm miserable all the time. Maybe I am but sometimes I don't even know why

Soberwolf

You don't come across as a miserable person how about surprising her with a romantic night out with a night at a hotel the works ?

soberclover

I found that when I got sober over time I because so much more aware of what was going on with me in terms of my depression. I've learned to have as much acceptance about being an alcoholic as well as accepting my depression. What I also have learned is that being sober is soooooooooo important as far as the medication I need to take. This is tough stuff and I think you are doing great

FeelingGreat

Work with your doctor to deal with depression, and have a look at the Beyond Blue website for some practical things you can do for yourself.