ast1

So I find myself back where I started. Walk of shame again. I'm learning as I go. I just hate failing myself. Now I'm looking into expanding my plan. I don't have any excuse for my actions. Now I sit here lost. Wondering how, why, .... My lil pitty party.

No where go but back up.

All suggestions welcomed!! Thanks for the support and encouragement. I really do love the people here. I love that we all continue to keep each other going! Even when someone falls.

ScottFromWI

Welcome back ast1 - glad you came back and you are always welcome in the SR community.

Regarding suggestions, i'd first ask what you were doing previously. Did you have a formal or specific plan of any kind?

Saskia

Hi Ast1, I'm glad to hear that you aren't giving up! My view is that we need a "toolkit". Here's what my toolkit contains:

Lots of info I learned in IOP, including
Mindfulness meditation
Relaxation
The relapse cycle and the appropriate interventions at each stage
Addict mind, clean mind, wise mind thinking patterns
Video "Pleasure Unwoven" which has a great way of explaining how
Addiction works

Pdoc I see to stay on track
Addiction counselor I have on tap in case of need
AA
Learning to pause and think it all the way through to the end if I pick up a drink. By the time I reach the end of that chain, the desire is gone
Meds - naltrexone
Gratitude list
Avoiding drinking situations, 100% for the early months, much of the time still
Focusing on all of the positives of being sober
Having people to talk too
Forcing myself not to isolate

These are the main ones. It has been a long road for me!

Debbie329

Ast looks like you joined the same month I did. I'm still falling on and off the wagon......Monday I went to see my psychiatrist......we agreed my medication is right and now I have to make a choice to get better.......he mentioned a couple ideas AA.....meditation exercise........maybe now that I'm stableized mentally I can start choosing to stay sober more often. Rome wasn't built in a day.

Soberwolf

Welcome bk Ast

Cherokee Legend - Two Wolves.

desertsong

I am back too, Ast. Day 2 for me after a year's relapse. I know exactly how you feel. We both know we never have to feel that way again.

The shame and the guilt kept me drinking, and the drinking made me feel guilty and ashamed. Vicious cycle but it can be stopped today.

We can both do this!

Anna

Don't let the shame keep you down. That's what the disease wants to happen. Use the experience to learn and move on. What were you doing before to stay sober? What can you add to your daily plan, to your recovery plan in general? You can get past this.

Dharma33

ast-

Sorry to hear you are struggling; but you can get right back to it. Hopefully you can join us in chat tonight, we are here for you!

I echo the others above, what can you do differently this time?

Dee74

Welcome back ast and desertsong and anyone else who's back on the right road.

This is the mother link

There's ideas on recovery groups, dealing with cravings and a few links on making recovery plans in here:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

I tried to get sober for 15 years - no matter how many times you have tried, have faith...there's got to be one time when you make it permanent - make it this time

D

strategery

I'm glad you're back!

When I was early on in sobriety, I spent a lot of time here. I learned a lot through spending time here and it gave me extra accountability.

If there are particular nights that you struggle with, find something to do on those nights that cannot involve drinking (SR chat meeting, working out, etc).

I also had to spend a lot of time and had to do a lot of extra work into why I was having cravings and working on my thought patterns/learning to cope with emotions in early sobriety.

I know you can do it and you can make today your last day 1!

Hevyn

We're glad to see you, ast. You can lean on us. Sometimes these setbacks are very valuable. My last setback resulted in over 7 yrs. of sobriety, so far. Keep posting - we know you can rise above this.