Resetti

A few days ago at work I could not concentrate, I was suffering from withdrawal heavily. I went to my boss and asked if I could take a few days off and I explained to him why I was struggling, that I was quitting alcohol and the withdrawal was affecting my work. It's a high concentration job and being unable to perform is a serious health risk. Besides, we weren't busy and I was owed the holiday, so I wasn't putting anyone out.

I always felt fairly comfortable talking to the guy and he seemed understanding, gave me a few days off and wished me luck. I felt good about it, I was honest and I was finally dealing with things head on.

I went back to work today and he told every member of staff I was an alcoholic. Not all of them are particularly nice people either.

I'm so upset I'm considering quitting and the thought of going back tomorrow is terrifying. This is the lowest I've felt in a long time.

sydneyman

Thats terrible, breach of trust. HR? Making a mockery out of somebodys disease is not on. He is not a manager.

Stomper

Hi Resetti! I know it must have been a difficult day for you. It helps me to remember that everyone struggles in their own way in life and we don't always know about them. No one is perfect. Your colleagues who may react negatively towards you will never be your friends or at least your true ones. Stay close to those who support you. Think of yourself and keep doing what you are doing. You are not alone.

Venecia

That was a terribly thoughtless thing for your boss to do. I'm sorry this happened to you.

My own two cents: Go back to work. Put your nose to the grindstone and do the job. Don't bring it up again. If anyone asks, you could say something like "thanks for your concern. I appreciate it and I'm doing well, but this is really a private matter for me. You can help by respecting my boundaries."

I wouldn't quit. You've gotten through the hard part -- a week, with the brain fog lifting -- and there's no need to add the stress of joblessness to the mix. If you wish to quietly start searching for a new post so you can resign once you find something different, that is understandable.

This wasn't the right thing but just try to move forward. What really matters is that you've made a wonderful decision for yourself. Welcome to SR and welcome to sobriety.

KidsEverywhere

My guess is he might not have made it a point to tell every individual but more likely told a person or two and if they are not nice as you mentioned, that is a juicy story they couldn't help but spread like manure.
But who knows. I would ignore them, there have been all kinds of things I've seen and heard over the years in the office. Most of it goes away over time and only lingers when it stays stirred up.

sva777

Move forward with your sobriety, what is done is done. If you still feel awkward or anything start looking for new work. It is awful that a boss would breach trust but it does happen and being an alcoholic does have a big stigma to a lot of people. It is crappy but true, I wish you the best moving past this and don't envy the spot your in.

Anna

I'm really sorry this happened to you.

Personally I don't think there is ever a reason to discuss my alcoholism in the workplace. I hope that you can move forward with this and continue your recovery.

Notimetoloose

I am so precious when it comes to who I open up to about my recovery, so my heart goes out to you.

I am so sorry this happened to you....I would be so upset as well...

Hold your head high and do not let this affect you sobriety resolve...

Jsbodhi

Omg! What a douche!
I agree with another poster that maybe he told one person and the it spread like wildfire.
So sorry, I'd go back, stay sober, do awesome and show everyone what a badass you are
Xoxo

esinger

I agree. Being on both sides of this in the past, right or wrong, mentioning a drinking problem or addiction at work is a big red flag. Using it as an excuse to take time off is even bigger. In my previous life it would probably resulted in very high scrutiny if not termination going forward. People just don't see it an illness. They see it as a huge liability in the work place.
I would put my nose to the grind stone and avoid these conversations in the future.

Wish you luck

Dee74

I'm sorry that happened resetti,. but I agree with Venecia - you may feel low down and ashamed and embarrassed but the fact is you had an illness, disease, malady - call it what you will and you're going great guns at doing something about it.

You should be proud not ashamed. Keep up the good work in and outside the office and hold your head high

That was incredibly unprofessional of your manager, IMO but his reaction and any other negative reactions are their problem, not yours .

D

SoberLeigh

^^^ This; every word.

thomas11

I'm speechless. I could write a lot of stuff, but I think the most important thing right now is you. Just keep that at the forefront of your life for the time being. There will come a place and time to address your boss's behavior. Document it.

Soberish

Sorry to hear that Resetti, I can only imagine how this must feel. I for one am on here to remain anonymous because I couldn't bear to bring out my issues in person. So as far as I see it, by going to your boss, you have more courage than I do and courage shows strength. Your boss was unprofessional at the very best label you can call him. I have followed a handful of your threads and I think you are doing great.

Something that slips my mind from time to time is that it gets better, it really does. Just give it time and take it day by day, this brain fog we have both been experiencing is awful but there is a better side to this in due time. I think you are doing great, keep your head up because you will look back on this in the near future and it will not even matter anymore.

breath

Here in the U.S. this would be a slam-dunk in court if you were to sue both the compny and the individual. Harrasment, Discrimination, Retaliation; it's a disease, this is no different than if you had told him you had Cancer or any other disease.
We have certain protected rights in the workplace, and our employers is liable if they breech or fail to protect them.

Clarebear13

I'm sorry this happened to you. Your colleague should have been more professional

dcg

It sucks, but just move on and don't let it bother you.

Two things I've learned firmly in the social circle of life that has served me well: 1) don't tell anyone anything you wouldn't want others to know; 2) don't give a **** what anyone thinks

Dropsie

Resetti,

Bad, really bad. So bad. Unbelievably bad.

But don't let it derail you. Don't let him win.

Double your resolve, don't quit, write it down.

Wow, so bad.

Carver

What an a-hole. If that were me I don't know if I could have stopped myself from kicking his ass.

But...it's happened. Move on, hold your head high, do your job. You're doing great. Just think, this could be the last time something like this happens, because you don't drink anymore.

Also, if there is a HR department or he has a higher boss, I would put in a complaint. Best of luck

Resetti

I have some friends at work and by all accounts he went into the staffroom, told everyone I had gone home because I was "a p******d" and he and some of the staff made fun of me. In a way, this was a good thing, because it turned my sadness into anger. I called around and got myself a job lined up at the start of the new year. I'm not concerned about raising red flags, there's a skill shortage which means the industry is understaffed, as long as I'm making them money I could spend my nights shooting up for all they care.

So here's the plan, I've cleaned up my appearance and I plan on being the perfect professional, more importantly I will do whatever it takes to absolutely tear it up at work and make myself a valuable commodity, firing on all cylinders I'm very good at my job and very profitable for the company. Then I hand in my notice and tell his bosses I'm leaving because of him, when they realise he's lost them money he'll likely get demoted, he's newly promoted and on a trial period.

Then no one will have to deal with his bully tactics.