SportsFan15

Ok weird thread title, I'll admit......but im wondering if any of you have had this SURREAL experience. I'll NEVER forget the first time I saw drunken friends when I was sober. It was when I quit the first time.

I was a few months into sobriety I think. It was a small gathering but people were throwing back shots. I recall it so clearly that I almost think it was traumatic for me. (No joke.)

I saw the tipping point when people acted buzzed.

Quickly followed by the slurred speech and crazy comments and grab @$$ ing.

Very quickly followed by stumbling, wobbling, and zero real communication. Tequila shots hit so quick.

I was a few shades under terrified. No exaggeration. These people I cared about, in 1.5 hours or so, turned into nice monsters....The Thriller video with Michael Jackson came to mind. I know that's a weird analogy but the dance they do looked so much like the drunken display.

I left and protected my sobriety. Honestly I wasn't tempted but freaked out.

The next day I reflected and it dawned on me why it was so disturbing:
1. That used to be me. But I was WORSE.
2. Their brains went horribly offline in such a short time. I saw alcohol for the first time for the poison it is when in the wrong hands. Hands like mine.

Has anyone else experienced this traumatic visual during sobriety? Since then, I avoid drinking events where people are having more than 1-2 and try to avoid those as much as I can!!

Jsbodhi

I agree with this completely, once I had someone video me while I was black out.
I was like something from the undead, my voice and mannerisms were completely different too.
I forgot about that, oh man, that was scary.
Thanks for the reminder

gettingsmarter

Yes! Being around drunk people makes me cringe. Listening to the meaningless looping conversations. Did I really used to be like that! YES! Gross. What a waste of life.

esinger

Several times including today at a football party. Haven't hung out with this group for years but was invited and have been blowing off invitations from them since I quit drinking three years ago. Most of the people were surprisingly well behaved but there were a few of the usual that became incoherent in the three hour event. There was one person there that has not been aloud at my home for several years because of drunken misconduct. His skin was grayish yellow and eyes were sort of a bloodshot gray, quite scary looking. One guy was stumbling around screaming at the TV and spilling his beer. There were the ones that repeat the same unfunny recollections of our drunken youth every time I see them.Then there were the ones that treated me like I was the sick one for not wanting to drink.
Actually I seem to be quite the novelty to these people. Guess they're not used to me remaining coherent and I disserve this. One woman was asking me about my status and was telling me that she was trying to get her husband sober. So yeah, I don't know about traumatic but it is always an eye opener to how pathetic my life used to be.
I by no means am trying to judge. I am no better. If my life hadn't gone to hell and had to change, I probably would have had no recollection of the 4th quarter of the game today. So I put these things as valuable reminders as to why I can't ever go back to that lifestyle. Think It'll be another three years before I go to another one of these events.

Soberwolf

Melina

Yea, SportsFan, I walk by a bar on my way out from work to the car. Most of the people I work with go party there after their shift... We are in the restaurant biz so it's a lot of hard partiers.

Two of them were having a bday party together there and were telling everyone they MUST come. My intentions were to go in, give a couple hugs and beat it (see what I did there with the MJ reference lol).

So I head over and there's a couple groups of them outside 'smoking.'

The smell of weed around five of the people I directly supervise was so strong I immediately changed my plan to just go home.

They saw me and one of the bday boys grabbed me for a hug and drunkenly told me that even though I can be a real a#%hole I'm probably mostly a good person. The other ppl smoking weed just scattered when they saw me.

The bday girl who is a server saw me and waved me in. I went into this huge group of coworkers to wish her a happy bday. She drunkenly grabbed me and told me she was planning on sleeping with our VP of finance who was there.

I smiled and told her I hope it's everything you dreamt of and I hightailed it out of there.

The whole experience probably lasted three minutes and I was just like ughhhhhh.

Bc I was a huge instigator and life of the party type when I was still able to be social drinking. I must have been the pushiest blowhard. I almost ALWAYS took the opportunity when drunk to set ppl straight about the flaws in their character and what ppl said about them behind their back. So rude. So unattractive.

There but for the grace of the universe go I....

I'm really grateful I don't drink anymore. It was gross.

asdf72

I havent had a chance to witness this yet as i've definitely always been as drunk as everyone else. I'm very nervous to be having a mini reunion with some of my old best college friends in a few weeks who all drink. I am planning not to drink but i just dont know how it will go.

PurpleKnight

Drunk people now annoy me after a while as the drunkenness progresses.

Small doses is all I can take, and that was probably true of myself when I was drinking!!

SportsFan15

esinger, I'm glad you made it through that experience. That must have been really tough, especially when they ask you about your sobriety. I don't blame you for waiting another 3 years or not going at all!!

I've started reminding myself that I shouldn't go to things that I don't enjoy. An exception is weddings. ...I understand the need to be at those but I try to take a non drinking friend.

Again I'm glad that night is over for you!

SportsFan15

Do you have a non drinking friend who could go with you?

SportsFan15

Well told account of drunken craziness and I loved the MJ reference. I too was pushy when drinking.....life of the party type....so obnoxious.

I love your ending statements. Here's to that!

ZeldaFan

You just described every work gathering I have been to after hours. It's amazing how quickly it goes downhill! If it's in town, I always duck out early. If it's out of town, I find my way up to my hotel room and just watch TV. It gets awkward and embarrassing to watch people drunk after it gets to a certain point. Plus it reminds me of how I'm sure I used to look.

asdf72

Hi SportsFan, unfortunately not although there may be other people around who don't drink. I am still hopeful that they will be supportive because they are true friends, much more than drinking buddies. I just feel i am too early in my sobriety to make a big deal out of it by telling them before we meet. Then again that could also be because that part of my brain is trying to decide if i still can have a drink. Or perhaps to try to nurse a beer all evening and hope no-one will notice.

SportsFan15

I understand the anxiety you feel about the reunion. This is just me....I wouldn't be able to go to something like that early in sobriety without telling people I'm not going to drink or faking it. I knew someone who was a heavy drinker and simply started drinking coke and water. He NEVER told his friends it's not whiskey anymore. People probably have different viewpoints on that but it worked for him.

For me, people can read me too easily, especially close friends.

Another option is to say you're not drinking that night.

All I know is, having a PLAN is key. No plan is still a plan.....it's just the "we will see how it goes" plan. Trust me, I had 1.5 years sober. At dinner on a date I decided to have a beer. I moderated a few times (a few instances) and went downhill. Have a plan, or the default plan is social anxiety then drinking.

Sorry to be pushy about this. ☺

asdf72

Hi SportsFan, i really do appreciate the advice. I am very anxious about it and am really trying to make a plan and stick to it. Right now i'm still wavering back and forth on alternatives and can see how dangerous that is. I think there will be a right time to tell them about my sobriety but this weekend probably is not it as it was planned a while ago as a kind of "crazy weekend" and not a time to discuss kind of heavier things. I think that i will tell them i'm not drinking on the friday night, as this will be a more intimate dinner setting. I will say i dont want to be hungover the next day to enjoy the city. Then on saturday which will be a party i will drink diet coke and people will likely assume its got alcohol mixed in. And then i just have to fake it or hopefully i will have a great time without being drunk! I just read a very short book called How to Party Sober and the author explains that after one drink at a party most people loosen up just because you get used to the setting and the people and this is true whether the drink is alcoholic or not.