34 days sober and back from weekend away with drinking friends...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 927
34 days sober and back from weekend away with drinking friends...
Pros
I didn't drink
Cons
I wanted to and am home but feel odd...
Day 1
The minute we arrived I realised I really wanted a beer, I also realised I "could" have one and no-one could stop me!!! Dilemma ensued in head as we unpacked, then I realised I was actually really thirsty, gulped a glass of lemonade and 2 tomato juices, told my husband that I "may" drink this weekend.
Got to the bar and my heavy drinking friend asked how I was doing, when I told her being sober was easier than I thought but I "may" drink this weekend she looked pleased. I decided to have a pint of lime and soda and then see if I still really wanted one afterwards. She was disappointed when I arrived at the table with my soda. It was really refreshing and I felt fine, satisfied. I looked at people around me drinking and realised I didn't just want ONE, if I started I would want LOTS and I would start worrying where it was and when it would run out. I enjoyed my soda chatting, we all left early to put the kids to bed, I had a hot lemon drink and went to bed, happy.
Day 2
Had a great day out, obviously no hangover, lots of energy, did rides with the kids, chatted, offered to be the driver that night for the meal we had booked at a lovely pub where we sat in the conservatory with grape vines all over the ceiling and hundreds of fairy lights, gorgeous!! Another lime and soda, enjoyed, spent time looking at menu realising it was now the focus of my evening instead of a sideline to just drinking. Enjoyed some squid and sweet potato fries. Friends all drank beer, I looked at wine list out of curiosity (not drinking as driving) there was no white I liked and the only red Shiraz I liked wax £28 gbp a bottle! Felt smug I'd saved that by just drinking soda, lol! Suddenly felt very tired as friends ordered 3rd beers and wines, I ordered an espresso and fetched my 5 year old from the end of the table for a cuddle. Realised if I was drinking if be wishing the kids away in bed so I could carry on drinking with abandon. Snuggled with him, told him I loved him : ))) looked around me and really enjoyed the atmosphere, took kids to toilet several times, realised I was very in control, not staggering, worrying about being off balance, getting to and from my seat. Drove home, sent husband off with friends for another drink and rugby, I put kids to bed with stories, followed them 5 minutes later!
Day 3
Woke up after another amazing sleep (does this amazing sleep feeling ever wear off?!) Went swimming, looked around at other parents in the pool and wondered if any of them were hiding hangovers? Had a great afternoon on the beach, watching surfers, arrived home at teatime.
Can't quite believe I just had a weekend away without drinking. Also can't quite believe I almost gave myself permission to, but didn't. Not sure if this means I did well or if I'm setting myself up for a relapse.
Friend told me she blatantly thinks I should drink again, just weekends only and not during the week. Told her I'd go to the point where I couldn't control it and I was blacking out every night. She thinks now I've stopped for a month it shows I've got more control than I think.
Had to write all this while fresh in my head. Had a great time, pleased with myself, but kind of spooked too...
I didn't drink
Cons
I wanted to and am home but feel odd...
Day 1
The minute we arrived I realised I really wanted a beer, I also realised I "could" have one and no-one could stop me!!! Dilemma ensued in head as we unpacked, then I realised I was actually really thirsty, gulped a glass of lemonade and 2 tomato juices, told my husband that I "may" drink this weekend.
Got to the bar and my heavy drinking friend asked how I was doing, when I told her being sober was easier than I thought but I "may" drink this weekend she looked pleased. I decided to have a pint of lime and soda and then see if I still really wanted one afterwards. She was disappointed when I arrived at the table with my soda. It was really refreshing and I felt fine, satisfied. I looked at people around me drinking and realised I didn't just want ONE, if I started I would want LOTS and I would start worrying where it was and when it would run out. I enjoyed my soda chatting, we all left early to put the kids to bed, I had a hot lemon drink and went to bed, happy.
Day 2
Had a great day out, obviously no hangover, lots of energy, did rides with the kids, chatted, offered to be the driver that night for the meal we had booked at a lovely pub where we sat in the conservatory with grape vines all over the ceiling and hundreds of fairy lights, gorgeous!! Another lime and soda, enjoyed, spent time looking at menu realising it was now the focus of my evening instead of a sideline to just drinking. Enjoyed some squid and sweet potato fries. Friends all drank beer, I looked at wine list out of curiosity (not drinking as driving) there was no white I liked and the only red Shiraz I liked wax £28 gbp a bottle! Felt smug I'd saved that by just drinking soda, lol! Suddenly felt very tired as friends ordered 3rd beers and wines, I ordered an espresso and fetched my 5 year old from the end of the table for a cuddle. Realised if I was drinking if be wishing the kids away in bed so I could carry on drinking with abandon. Snuggled with him, told him I loved him : ))) looked around me and really enjoyed the atmosphere, took kids to toilet several times, realised I was very in control, not staggering, worrying about being off balance, getting to and from my seat. Drove home, sent husband off with friends for another drink and rugby, I put kids to bed with stories, followed them 5 minutes later!
Day 3
Woke up after another amazing sleep (does this amazing sleep feeling ever wear off?!) Went swimming, looked around at other parents in the pool and wondered if any of them were hiding hangovers? Had a great afternoon on the beach, watching surfers, arrived home at teatime.
Can't quite believe I just had a weekend away without drinking. Also can't quite believe I almost gave myself permission to, but didn't. Not sure if this means I did well or if I'm setting myself up for a relapse.
Friend told me she blatantly thinks I should drink again, just weekends only and not during the week. Told her I'd go to the point where I couldn't control it and I was blacking out every night. She thinks now I've stopped for a month it shows I've got more control than I think.
Had to write all this while fresh in my head. Had a great time, pleased with myself, but kind of spooked too...
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 287
I really enjoyed this read.. thank u for sharing your experience. . I am also early in recovery (almost 3 months) and have not yet been in these types of situations.. it sounds to me like u did great with your decisions. . Congrats! ! Keep it up!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: London, England
Posts: 26
Sounds like you did great and really enjoyed your weekend.
Don't listen to your friend. Do what you need to do for yourself.
You know what you can and can't do.
Well done.
Great to hear a really positive post.
Don't listen to your friend. Do what you need to do for yourself.
You know what you can and can't do.
Well done.
Great to hear a really positive post.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,872
Congratulations on a happy and successfully sober weekend.
Urges and cravings will become less and less and less problematic with time.
The countless benefits of sobriety will continue to unfold with time, too. Good to see that you are already recognizing and experience some of them!!!!!
Urges and cravings will become less and less and less problematic with time.
The countless benefits of sobriety will continue to unfold with time, too. Good to see that you are already recognizing and experience some of them!!!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 927
Thanks everyone, I know it was early days to have a weekend away but it was all booked and paid for ages ago and I didn't want to miss it, I think because of the children I'd already planned how I would be the main babysitter and would cope fine with no drinking.
I'm just shocked that I almost threw it all in just because "I could"... It's made me realise how fragile this sobriety still is.
The cravings weren't strong though, it was more the pull of old behaviour and old habits.
It felt really good to be in control all weekend, no headaches, no blackouts, no hangovers, no sickness, no stumbling, no slurring, no,embarrassing myself or others.
Played a lot of arcade games, ate quite a few sweets, found a new fair trade chocolate bar - milk chocolate with Himalayan salt! WTF?! Very nice though, lol : )))
I'm just shocked that I almost threw it all in just because "I could"... It's made me realise how fragile this sobriety still is.
The cravings weren't strong though, it was more the pull of old behaviour and old habits.
It felt really good to be in control all weekend, no headaches, no blackouts, no hangovers, no sickness, no stumbling, no slurring, no,embarrassing myself or others.
Played a lot of arcade games, ate quite a few sweets, found a new fair trade chocolate bar - milk chocolate with Himalayan salt! WTF?! Very nice though, lol : )))
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: TN
Posts: 365
I emphasize that you said that you could tell how disappointed your friend was when you came back with a lemonade. That right there is a classic example of an addict wanting to drag someone else down with them since it's showing them how they have no control of their own drinking and they are basically pitying themselves for this. Good job on you being in control. It will get easier with time. Still, I would try not to engage myself with drinkers. It's just not worth it but I understand this particular outing was important for you. Hang in there.
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Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: St. Pete Beach
Posts: 35
Very inspirational! I have a similar weekend coming up in 3 weeks and i am very nervous about it. Funnily if my kids were with me i would be happier but they will not so as you said i could "drink with abandon" if i wanted. I am hoping my friends will be supportive and i will have a good time without drinking.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 3,163
Great post.
I suspect your friend was sad to lose her drinking buddy, and as TM says, she may not want to think about her own drinking yet, but with you there having a good time with soda and lime, she is forced to, unless you cave. And by not caving, you make her think when she wants to drink. Or not, either way, its not your problem.
I have had this many times, and each time it gets easier for me and harder for them.
But the point is this is not about her, its about you, and you are going great.
Thanks for sharing.
I suspect your friend was sad to lose her drinking buddy, and as TM says, she may not want to think about her own drinking yet, but with you there having a good time with soda and lime, she is forced to, unless you cave. And by not caving, you make her think when she wants to drink. Or not, either way, its not your problem.
I have had this many times, and each time it gets easier for me and harder for them.
But the point is this is not about her, its about you, and you are going great.
Thanks for sharing.
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
I really enjoyed your weekend diary FF. I have the same trick of getting a big glass of soda early on, and I usually find that takes away cravings. I enjoy offering to be the driver too; none of my friends are drunks but it saves them the worry.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 927
See, you're all saying well done but I feel the seed has been sown...
I haven't drunk for 36 days now but I want to and I'm planning to, I fell asleep last night thinking about buying some on the way home from my alcohol awareness course this afternoon, even though I've got work tmrw... I think I can talk myself out of that today. But this weekend is another matter. Do I try a bottle on Friday just because "I can"...
I know. I don't "need it" I'm not craving it, this is just mind games now. I'll talk about it this afternoon at my group, it might help. The good thing is I stood in the post office yesterday for 5 minutes trying to decide between Chardonnay and Shiraz. Then I realised I had a 14 year old girl coming round to discuss a Xmas cooking workshop, and an AGM later in the evening. THAT is why I stopped, it was making me **** at doing the things I wanted to...
The good thing is I'm not acting on impulse and am managing to delay it, just need to keep delaying it I guess.
This morning, right now, this moment, I don't want to drink. That's positive.
I haven't drunk for 36 days now but I want to and I'm planning to, I fell asleep last night thinking about buying some on the way home from my alcohol awareness course this afternoon, even though I've got work tmrw... I think I can talk myself out of that today. But this weekend is another matter. Do I try a bottle on Friday just because "I can"...
I know. I don't "need it" I'm not craving it, this is just mind games now. I'll talk about it this afternoon at my group, it might help. The good thing is I stood in the post office yesterday for 5 minutes trying to decide between Chardonnay and Shiraz. Then I realised I had a 14 year old girl coming round to discuss a Xmas cooking workshop, and an AGM later in the evening. THAT is why I stopped, it was making me **** at doing the things I wanted to...
The good thing is I'm not acting on impulse and am managing to delay it, just need to keep delaying it I guess.
This morning, right now, this moment, I don't want to drink. That's positive.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: London, England
Posts: 26
Posting here when you feel that way really helps too.
Just writing down helps you to rationally think it through.
If you can see your own words telling you why not to buy the Shiraz, it is a helpful powerful tool to aid you.
Good luck fuzzy.
I'm on day 24.
Very similar feelings...
But I know 1 drink will spiral... down!
Just writing down helps you to rationally think it through.
If you can see your own words telling you why not to buy the Shiraz, it is a helpful powerful tool to aid you.
Good luck fuzzy.
I'm on day 24.
Very similar feelings...
But I know 1 drink will spiral... down!
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