immri

Hey guys, I just checked in with my month home group but wanted to post here too since i havent been around for a few months
my last relapse was 15 july and I've been sober since, but haven't been around here due to internet troubles. a few weeks ago I had a pretty important night for me at a friends party and I just wanted to share it with some people who understand.
It was the first big event I've been to since that relapse, and it was a big party for a friend. I didn't want to go because a) it was in a bar, b) i've avoided hanging out at night time or around alcohol since july and c) i'm very close to the 2 people who hosted the party and the girl it was for, but didn't know the majority of the other attendees and thought that would make me incredibly anxious
but it was really important for those friends and I'm glad I went. I don't think i've ever been to something like that without being very drunk before, so it was eye opening.
some things that happened:

• I had a good time, probably better than if i had been drunk. I'm not really a party person, but it was enjoyable. I stopped beating myself up over not being as excited as everyone else. I'm just not that sort of person and that's ok! i still had a good night
• I didn't embarrass myself or do anything stupid and I realised how unexpected that was to me
• I got to attend something important for a friend, enjoy myself, and still get home at a reasonable time so my family didn't worry
• i was so proud of myself that night and the next morning
• I saw that the social anxiety only really stuck around for the first 30 minutes, then i was fine chatting with everyone
• a few people were bothered by me not drinking and made a point to question me a lot, but I didn't really care any more because I'm so confident in the knowledge that I shouldn't be drinking regardless of what people think

It was a great experience I think, It gave me a lot more confidence to go to important events and not feel the need to drink, but also at the same time it really made me realise that i'm just not someone who lives to go out every night. i realised that drinking was often a way of trying to enjoy these situations that everyone else my age (mid 20s now) seems to enjoy so much but i'm just a more introverted person and that's fine. I’ll always prefer one on one situations rather than big groups, but now the pressure is off I can just enjoy them for what they are instead of forcing myself to act and feel a certain way.

Just wanted to share with some people who 'get' this stuff, most people in my life just think i'm weird!

Dee74

Glad to hear from you Immri and glad you're doing well

D

animalnurse9

That's awesome, sounds like a really positive experience , well done 😊

PurpleKnight

Fantastic Immri!!

Soberwolf

Excellent Immri