OfEpiphany

For the first time in my drinking "career" I'm actually feeling depressed as I drink. I feel sad as I am drunk right now. I've never felt this before, since I usually drink to escape the feeling. But here I am, drinking at a friend's house, feeling like it's utterly pointless.

All of the activities that would make me excited when I am drunk (i.e. listening to music, etc...) seem so pointless right now....

I think I've reached a stage and age where getting drunk to escape is no longer an option. It no longer gives me that relief. This has never happened, wow, usually I will drink and be happy. But right now, the activities I usually pursue seem pointless and not fun at all.

I've dulled my senses, but for once, the alcohol did not quench what I was trying to quench with the alcohol. Does this make sense?

My drinking "career" is/has come to an end.

BixBees505

Congratulations! If you treat this turning point seriously and take the steps needed to recover, you will someday look back on this day with joy.

The experience you describe is very common.

Jsbodhi

That's exactly what happened to me

JR71

Think we all go through that experience, at some point you may even experience bouts of drinking and not even feel drunk, technically you are.

These are dark places, we all have our own turning points and dates of change.
Wish you luck my friend, you are not alone, keep reaching out and talking it out.

teatreeoil007

Makes very good sense!

Dee74

Thats exactly what happened to me too ofephiphany.
Just don't be like me and keep drinking anyway...

D

FreeOwl

I've heard a lot of stories from friends who have experienced that.... And kept going.

There began a despairing, miserable downward spiral to a place where they could not live without alcohol.... Nor with it.

I hope you embrace this as your turning point, choose sobriety and go after it with full surrender.

Midton

I was the same too.

I used to become more not less self conscious and more anxious. Even after one sip I felt people could sense how it affected me differently than them. Difficult to explain.

Carver

Yep, I got to that point, and kept drinking for a couple more years. It's amazing that you're aware that it's happened. Maybe it's time to stop doing it?

asdf72

I think I have been feeling the same way for a while now, just not able to get the same happy carefree high from drinking but doing it anyway. I guess we need to keep remembering that when we think about drinking.

Roxyblues

An alcoholic will not stop drinking for any sustained periods when the alcohol believes deep down inside that they can take a few drinks and experience that sense of ease and comfort without dire consequences and until alcohol stops working. This why why people chase that buzz until insanity or death. This is also what the Big Book means by those constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves, the illusion and belief that they somehow, someway can still drink with impunity or that it may be different this time.

gettingsmarter

Perfect sense! In the end it just made me depressed. Total opposite of what I wanted. Listen to the message you are hearing. I kept drinking long after knowing it would make me depressed hoping it would do what it used to. You can save yourself the trouble.

PurpleKnight

Yeap alcohol stopped working eventually for me too, though the addiction and habit can continue on for many years, so best to draw a line under alcohol and move on!!

You can do this!!

Anna

Alcohol definitely stopped working for me, too. But, I still continued to drink, I think because of the obsessive-compulsive component of the disease.

I'm glad you've decided to stop drinking.

SportsFan15

Same here, alcohol stopped being pleasurable for me too. I didn't stop drinking and lost more years of life and health.

I hope you dont do what i did. Stop now and you'll be glad!

I've yet to hear a person ever say "i just wish I had more ALCOHOL in my life." No one looks back and says "i should have spent more time drinking...."

When we quit, we start spending time on what really matters.

Soberween

Yep, alcohol worked really well for a long time and then suddenly it stopped working. Where it use to calm me and reduce my anxiety level, it began to give me panic attacks and my anxiety was through the roof. It was almost a gift because it made it so much easier to give it up for good.

Jsbodhi

Word

Soberwolf

This

Roxyblues

Did alcohol really stop working for those that continued to drink? Perhaps. Perhaps not.

Fact remains that some alcoholics will simply continue to drink until death.

Some alcoholics, however, reach that moment of clarity and desperation that is so great that they become willing to do what ever it takes to not have to drink again.

What does that willingness to do whatever it takes not to drink again look like to you and in your life?

Alcoholism is a fatal disease if you are a true alcoholic. It will absolutely kill you unless you sober up or get institutionalized or locked up so you cannot drink.

Those saying the continued to drink when it seemed to stop working reveals just how powerless an alcoholic is when it comes to the choice if drinking or not drinking. This is why a program that focuses on the true problem, powerlessness, is the only thing that can actually work for a sustained period of time for someone that is an real alcoholic.

Heavy drinkers can moderate through self awareness, an alcoholic cannot over any sustained period if time.

Awareness, playing it through, knowing my consequences and etc. has never been strong enough to give me the power to not drink again. Only a deep state of true surrender combined with the fact that alcohol and drugs have stopped working seems to be the key to the first step in recovering from the bs.