Moms cancer was an excuse to drink...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 164
Moms cancer was an excuse to drink...
Well I haven't' been here for awhile, could use support please.
My mom has been fighting colon cancer for a year now, I am her only support. She has been going to chemo for 7 months now, found out yesterday that the chemo is no longer working,
I have been using my mom's cancer as an excuse to drink, I thought i could manage it, of course found out that isn't working, having stomach issues again, feel awful. Doing stupid things etc.
Need to stop or I am going to go down a very bad path and I need to focus on my mom. As of today made a commitment to stop. Thank you for listening.
My mom has been fighting colon cancer for a year now, I am her only support. She has been going to chemo for 7 months now, found out yesterday that the chemo is no longer working,
I have been using my mom's cancer as an excuse to drink, I thought i could manage it, of course found out that isn't working, having stomach issues again, feel awful. Doing stupid things etc.
Need to stop or I am going to go down a very bad path and I need to focus on my mom. As of today made a commitment to stop. Thank you for listening.
Rehydrating to Oblivion.
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 1,332
Fhl - I'm so sorry about your mom. It sounds like you're really going through the mill at the moment, it must be agonising for both of you.
Unfortunately I don't have any advice for you. I just wanted to send over some hugs and thoughts. You are right that drinking will only make things worse and prolong the pain.
Well done on stopping. Hang on in there were all here for ya.
B
Unfortunately I don't have any advice for you. I just wanted to send over some hugs and thoughts. You are right that drinking will only make things worse and prolong the pain.
Well done on stopping. Hang on in there were all here for ya.
B
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Hi Fhl sorry about you & your mums circumstances good on you making a day 1
I have been through this & was my mums carer through 3 months of terminal cancer I'm here all night if you want to talk pm me anytime Fhl
I have been through this & was my mums carer through 3 months of terminal cancer I'm here all night if you want to talk pm me anytime Fhl
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,845
Welcome back, fhl.
I am very sorry about your mom's cancer; it is a stressful and agonizing experience to watch a loved one suffer.
Congratulations on your decision to stop drinking.
Sending good thoughts your way.
I am very sorry about your mom's cancer; it is a stressful and agonizing experience to watch a loved one suffer.
Congratulations on your decision to stop drinking.
Sending good thoughts your way.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,511
Hi fhl. I'm glad you wanted to talk about what's going on.
I fell back on it many times - thinking it was helping me cope. It just made me more anxious & less able to concentrate or deal with anything. You've made a really good decision. I'm so sorry to hear of your mom's illness - I'm sure she's so grateful to have you to help see her through.
I fell back on it many times - thinking it was helping me cope. It just made me more anxious & less able to concentrate or deal with anything. You've made a really good decision. I'm so sorry to hear of your mom's illness - I'm sure she's so grateful to have you to help see her through.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 164
Thank you for your support, this is why I love this place so much. I know this is not going to be easy especially with what I am dealing with right now, but I have to remind myself that it is better to do this sober than have my head in the sand.
I am not used to dealing with life head on like this so I have to admit I am scared, one thing that is different this time is I remember what its like to be sober for an extended amount of time and i know this is possible and I will feel so much better not only physically but emotionally.
I am not used to dealing with life head on like this so I have to admit I am scared, one thing that is different this time is I remember what its like to be sober for an extended amount of time and i know this is possible and I will feel so much better not only physically but emotionally.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Originally Posted by fhl41 
Thank you for your support, this is why I love this place so much. I know this is not going to be easy especially with what I am dealing with right now, but I have to remind myself that it is better to do this sober than have my head in the sand.
I am not used to dealing with life head on like this so I have to admit I am scared, one thing that is different this time is I remember what its like to be sober for an extended amount of time and i know this is possible and I will feel so much better not only physically but emotionally.
I am not used to dealing with life head on like this so I have to admit I am scared, one thing that is different this time is I remember what its like to be sober for an extended amount of time and i know this is possible and I will feel so much better not only physically but emotionally.
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Hi, Fhl.
Sorry to hear about your Mom.
I understand you very well - I lost my mother to cancer 10 years ago.
I don't know how old are you. I was young when she was diagnosed - 25 years old. I remember how scared I was. How I felt helpless and hopeless. How I shuddered every time the phone rang when she was in hospital. Pain and fear were immense.
Back then I didn't think about sobriety, though at that stage of the life my drinking wasn't out of control, but it surely triggered my further issues with it.
Drinking won't help, for sure, but it's easier to give common sense advice than to put it in practice. For me sometimes moment of pain were so acute that I would do anything to numb it.
And those are the moments to be prepared for and meet them armed and ready.
You are going through hard times and ordeal. And you have to take good care of yourself - make sure you make some time for yourself to recuperate emotionally and physically. It is not selfish, it's necessary. Stress of watching a close one fighting disease that devastating can harm your health as well if you let yourself burn out. No one needs it. And it won't help.
I don't know what your beliefs are - I mean spiritually. I am not religious (to say the least), but thoughts about how big are the Universe, and our life here, maybe, a stage in a long journey which is unfolding only so much at a time helps me sometimes when I hit dark moments (I felt like suicidal at some point).
With all this being said - don't drink. Find things which will give you power to go through this. Think of some quality time you can spend with your Mom. Dare I say - exercise. Yes, you need it. It's a must for both fighting drinking cravings and unwinding huge stress which will hit your body and emotions during these days.
And...it's ok to be scared. It's because you are human. And everyone is scared under such circumstance.
Hugs and good vibes to you.
Hold on and hang it here. This place is amazing.
Sorry to hear about your Mom.
I understand you very well - I lost my mother to cancer 10 years ago.
I don't know how old are you. I was young when she was diagnosed - 25 years old. I remember how scared I was. How I felt helpless and hopeless. How I shuddered every time the phone rang when she was in hospital. Pain and fear were immense.
Back then I didn't think about sobriety, though at that stage of the life my drinking wasn't out of control, but it surely triggered my further issues with it.
Drinking won't help, for sure, but it's easier to give common sense advice than to put it in practice. For me sometimes moment of pain were so acute that I would do anything to numb it.
And those are the moments to be prepared for and meet them armed and ready.
You are going through hard times and ordeal. And you have to take good care of yourself - make sure you make some time for yourself to recuperate emotionally and physically. It is not selfish, it's necessary. Stress of watching a close one fighting disease that devastating can harm your health as well if you let yourself burn out. No one needs it. And it won't help.
I don't know what your beliefs are - I mean spiritually. I am not religious (to say the least), but thoughts about how big are the Universe, and our life here, maybe, a stage in a long journey which is unfolding only so much at a time helps me sometimes when I hit dark moments (I felt like suicidal at some point).
With all this being said - don't drink. Find things which will give you power to go through this. Think of some quality time you can spend with your Mom. Dare I say - exercise. Yes, you need it. It's a must for both fighting drinking cravings and unwinding huge stress which will hit your body and emotions during these days.
And...it's ok to be scared. It's because you are human. And everyone is scared under such circumstance.
Hugs and good vibes to you.
Hold on and hang it here. This place is amazing.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: New York
Posts: 35,731
((fhl)) I'm so sorry to hear about your Mother. My thoughts and prayers are with you both. I know how difficult this can be as my Mother had cancer as well.
You will never regret being emotionally present. I drank fhl, and all it did was postpone the pain. I know you're scared, I was too.
Please keep coming here and sharing your feelings. We care and many members have been in a similar situation.
I'm glad you came back.
You will never regret being emotionally present. I drank fhl, and all it did was postpone the pain. I know you're scared, I was too.
Please keep coming here and sharing your feelings. We care and many members have been in a similar situation.
I'm glad you came back.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 164
Originally Posted by MidnightBlue
Hi, Fhl.
Sorry to hear about your Mom.
I understand you very well - I lost my mother to cancer 10 years ago.
I don't know how old are you. I was young when she was diagnosed - 25 years old. I remember how scared I was. How I felt helpless and hopeless. How I shuddered every time the phone rang when she was in hospital. Pain and fear were immense.
Back then I didn't think about sobriety, though at that stage of the life my drinking wasn't out of control, but it surely triggered my further issues with it.
Drinking won't help, for sure, but it's easier to give common sense advice than to put it in practice. For me sometimes moment of pain were so acute that I would do anything to numb it.
And those are the moments to be prepared for and meet them armed and ready.
You are going through hard times and ordeal. And you have to take good care of yourself - make sure you make some time for yourself to recuperate emotionally and physically. It is not selfish, it's necessary. Stress of watching a close one fighting disease that devastating can harm your health as well if you let yourself burn out. No one needs it. And it won't help.
I don't know what your beliefs are - I mean spiritually. I am not religious (to say the least), but thoughts about how big are the Universe, and our life here, maybe, a stage in a long journey which is unfolding only so much at a time helps me sometimes when I hit dark moments (I felt like suicidal at some point).
With all this being said - don't drink. Find things which will give you power to go through this. Think of some quality time you can spend with your Mom. Dare I say - exercise. Yes, you need it. It's a must for both fighting drinking cravings and unwinding huge stress which will hit your body and emotions during these days.
And...it's ok to be scared. It's because you are human. And everyone is scared under such circumstance.
Hugs and good vibes to you.
Hold on and hang it here. This place is amazing.
Sorry to hear about your Mom.
I understand you very well - I lost my mother to cancer 10 years ago.
I don't know how old are you. I was young when she was diagnosed - 25 years old. I remember how scared I was. How I felt helpless and hopeless. How I shuddered every time the phone rang when she was in hospital. Pain and fear were immense.
Back then I didn't think about sobriety, though at that stage of the life my drinking wasn't out of control, but it surely triggered my further issues with it.
Drinking won't help, for sure, but it's easier to give common sense advice than to put it in practice. For me sometimes moment of pain were so acute that I would do anything to numb it.
And those are the moments to be prepared for and meet them armed and ready.
You are going through hard times and ordeal. And you have to take good care of yourself - make sure you make some time for yourself to recuperate emotionally and physically. It is not selfish, it's necessary. Stress of watching a close one fighting disease that devastating can harm your health as well if you let yourself burn out. No one needs it. And it won't help.
I don't know what your beliefs are - I mean spiritually. I am not religious (to say the least), but thoughts about how big are the Universe, and our life here, maybe, a stage in a long journey which is unfolding only so much at a time helps me sometimes when I hit dark moments (I felt like suicidal at some point).
With all this being said - don't drink. Find things which will give you power to go through this. Think of some quality time you can spend with your Mom. Dare I say - exercise. Yes, you need it. It's a must for both fighting drinking cravings and unwinding huge stress which will hit your body and emotions during these days.
And...it's ok to be scared. It's because you are human. And everyone is scared under such circumstance.
Hugs and good vibes to you.
Hold on and hang it here. This place is amazing.
I wouldn't say my drinking is out of control right now, but since I have tried the moderation route this past year I sense the obsessive thoughts rising once more. Drinking is definitely a useful tool in escaping my negative thoughts but isn't that why I'm here in the first place.
I am currently reading a book called "Drink" by Ann Dowsett Johnston and it is very interesting and I see allot of myself in her writing about women and alcoholism. I am able to see that I have not been able to deal with my emotions for years , basically since I started drinking at the age 13. She also says that allot of women start drinking (if they start at a young age) due to sexual abuse or some other sort of trauma in their childhood, which is the case for me; it was used to numb out. I have always been an anxious person as well and it has always helped calm my nerves.
With my mom's cancer right now I know I am going to have to face allot of emotions and feelings that are going to test my limits and that sounds daunting but it may also be a growth opportunity as well; Its better than the alternative.
Thank you all for your support. You all are so wonderful for your kind words.
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