alybally

I'm still frustrated that I was threatened by my ex ABF. That he threatened my job and my career when I've done nothing wrong. And at how much he lied and tried to screw me over. Alcoholic or not, I feel no pity and am tempted to call the bar of the state in which he is licensed and report his DUI convictions which he was required to report within 15 days and could likely lose his license over. Then, we will see how confident the bully feels. I truly feel he should pay for what he's done.

I just read his threatening email again and it infuriates me because no one pushes me around.

teatreeoil007

Take a deep breath and cool your jets. Everything will be just fine. Think this through and find peace without yourself.

alybally

My jets have been cooling for 4 weeks. I think I'm ready to take action and show him the consequences of his behavior.

jjj111

Let it go. Seeking vengeance will only get you deeper into your anger and the situation. It sounds like he's already experiencing lots of consequences with losing his job and so on. What can you do to take care of yourself today? Get out there and enjoy your Saturday.

alybally

Plus it would only allow him the pleasure of shifting the focus onto me right instead of his sh*tty behavior? I'm honestly glad he's suffering, I feel he deserves every ounce of it.

alybally

I'm getting to the point where I can't even remember when he was "good" or nice. All I think of now is the crappy part of him.

zoso77

Disengage. You do not want to create more problems for yourself.

Remember: every action we take has intended and unintended consequences. And I'd be willing to bet that if you allow your anger to get the better of you and you report him, you're not going to like how that goes for you.

Not to mention that it will not make you feel any better.

alybally

Why what do you think the crazy drunk will do? I do appreciate your input though. I've read some of your posts and I do know you are further down the road than me. Lucky you, I tell ya. I would love to have this year's behind me right now.

cynical one

In recovery, we allow natural consequences to happen, it's not our responsibility to dish consequences out.

alybally

Good point but he was certainly trying to dish out consequences to me for getting involved with him. How's that fair? I had to go to my firm and embarrass myself and tell them some crazy ex boyfriend was harassing am and threatening to embarrass me. I had to deal with the consequences of his threats.

alybally

I'm not a mean person, quite the contrary. I'm just angry. Really, really, really angry.

Vale

If you want to stay engaged in the struggle, do the predictable thing.
Enjoin in battle and squander resources until one of you capitulates.
It's only natural to want revenge.

If you don't want to stay tethered to a life draining force, disengage.

A landlord killed Vale's cat when he was a very young boy. Made a point
to tell Vale the details. Plastic bag, rock, river, terrible suffering of suffocation
.......you get the idea. Terribly cruel to say the least. The human
thing to do would be to seek immediate retribution, Baghdad style.

But Vale was no dumb pup. He knew and trusted in Karma.
A very (VERY!) long time passed before a ripe opportunity
passed right in front of him. Details bore people----suffice to say this
individual lost a huge opportunity---- which in his precarious financial
state drove the loss of his business/livelihood, home,and anything
resembling a life worth living.

Big price to pay for a dead kitten. I'll have to side with Khan on
this one regarding the old Klingon proverb stating revenge is a dish
best served cold.The one thing I am sure of is he had no idea where
in the hell the incredible confluence of disastrous events came from
------or how assured/critically relied upon personal lines of credit
could just suddenly vanish.

Bottom line? Patience is your friend and a potent weapon
indeed. Never make a strategic decision when you are hot.
Never strike if an opponent knows your approach vector----
--if they know the direction you are coming from, you have
lost the advantage.

Be patient. Allow Karma the grace and time that is its due.

And don't kill a young boys kitten.

AnvilheadII

your anger keeps you attached to him.

Vale

Love, hate, indifference.

The first 2 form attachment; the last one forms estrangement.

alybally

I know. :-(

I just miss him, still love him and wish he still loved and cared about me. And most of all, I wish he wasn't an alcoholic so I could have my sweet love back. My buddy, my friend and my ally. My lover and partner. The yin to my yang. You have no idea how long I looked for him. But it's gone and I am so GD devastated.

zoso77

Yeah, I get that.

The week my AXGF and I broke up, she pulled something that put my career in jeopardy. I can't get into it here. Suffice to say it was ugly.

And I was furious. Just absolutely, positively livid. So, yes, I understand what it's like to be that angry. So when I was in your shoes, I had a dilemma. I could either do my best to put her in my rearview mirror and bite my tongue, or I could waste a whole lot of time and energy trying to make her pay for her betrayal.

I chose the former. Needless to say, that call's worked out pretty well. Luck had nothing to do with it.

So now you have a choice. What you do is totally up to you. But I can assure you that if you go the vengeance route, you will not heal. You will fall further into a pit of despair.

Getting your heart ripped out sucks. But there are worse things...like still being with him.