How am I supposed to feel?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi and welcome fishwife.
Not very good is the polite way of saying it. The first week was not a fun time for me, although I did get better a little day by day.
I'm glad you found us - there's a ton of support here
D
Not very good is the polite way of saying it. The first week was not a fun time for me, although I did get better a little day by day.
I'm glad you found us - there's a ton of support here
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
I felt a little excited... a little afraid.... a lot physically miserable.... a fair bit uncertain....
I felt lost and muddled and confused.
I felt sad, depressed, broken.
I felt less-than. I felt wrong. I felt bad, defective.
But all of that improved. ALL of it.
It took time and it took work but then it felt pretty fantastic. And now I still sometimes feel all of those things, but I realize that feeling them is OK and those feelings come and go like the clouds because that's part of being human. The overriding feeling for me now is gratitude and abundance and love and general peace. Even when I'm kinda stressed or sad or angry.
Taking away the booze and the drugs was like taking away the misery, giving me space to learn about how to just exist and be on this human experience without it driving my emotions around recklessly.
It gets better.
I felt lost and muddled and confused.
I felt sad, depressed, broken.
I felt less-than. I felt wrong. I felt bad, defective.
But all of that improved. ALL of it.
It took time and it took work but then it felt pretty fantastic. And now I still sometimes feel all of those things, but I realize that feeling them is OK and those feelings come and go like the clouds because that's part of being human. The overriding feeling for me now is gratitude and abundance and love and general peace. Even when I'm kinda stressed or sad or angry.
Taking away the booze and the drugs was like taking away the misery, giving me space to learn about how to just exist and be on this human experience without it driving my emotions around recklessly.
It gets better.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Margate, UK
Posts: 549
Pretty terrible, but happy with every day passing. I was purging poison from my body, so you're gonna feel it.
But it's so amazing now, life is easier and more colourful
Welcome and congrats on 4 days.
But it's so amazing now, life is easier and more colourful
Welcome and congrats on 4 days.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
I think some of it would depend on how long and how much you've been drinking. Speaking for myself only, the first week was a bit of a roller coaster. Physically I felt much better, it was breaking the cycle mentally that was the biggest challenge.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Florida., USA
Posts: 3,252
Hi Fishwife - Welcome to SR.
The first week, I had a lot of mixed feelings.
- Despite how I felt during the day, at night I was VERY happy and proud that I was going to bed without having had a drink.
- In the morning, I was almost smiling as I thought, "YAY - I didn't drink and I don't have a hangover."
- My physical feelings were mostly anxiety and restlessness, especially around the times I used to drink, maybe from around 3:00 p.m. until I went to bed. My concentration was poor. It seemed time went very, very slowly and wouldn't pass fast enough.
- I didn't feel like doing anything, but pushed myself so the time would pass.
- I was sad and depressed. It was difficult to accept that I would never drink again. Presently, I concentrate on just getting through one day at a time.
- When I was drinking, I used to have AWFUL anxiety in the morning. That started to slowly go away during the first week. The relief of the anxiety lessening kept me going.
I agree with Thomas - the mental cycle is tough to break.
Hang in there Fishwife. We're here for you. Stay close to SR. Read and post as much as you can. It will reinforce your commitment to remaining alcohol free.
The first week, I had a lot of mixed feelings.
- Despite how I felt during the day, at night I was VERY happy and proud that I was going to bed without having had a drink.
- In the morning, I was almost smiling as I thought, "YAY - I didn't drink and I don't have a hangover."
- My physical feelings were mostly anxiety and restlessness, especially around the times I used to drink, maybe from around 3:00 p.m. until I went to bed. My concentration was poor. It seemed time went very, very slowly and wouldn't pass fast enough.
- I didn't feel like doing anything, but pushed myself so the time would pass.
- I was sad and depressed. It was difficult to accept that I would never drink again. Presently, I concentrate on just getting through one day at a time.
- When I was drinking, I used to have AWFUL anxiety in the morning. That started to slowly go away during the first week. The relief of the anxiety lessening kept me going.
I agree with Thomas - the mental cycle is tough to break.
Hang in there Fishwife. We're here for you. Stay close to SR. Read and post as much as you can. It will reinforce your commitment to remaining alcohol free.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
I felt very emotionally 'raw' and really struggled to focus on anything very well. Even the most simple magazine article needed double-reading to get the jist. I did find some things helped a little though. You may have already come across HALT being mentioned on here. It's a good way of remembering the four most common triggers to try to avoid...
Hunger : (eat small meals regularly to keep your blood sugar nice and level as this will help your mood / emotions stay as in-balance as possible)
Anger : Try to avoid people / places / chores that are likely to invoke frustration as much as possible while you're getting used to existence without the old crutch alcohol to offer some relief.
Lonely: Try to avoid isolating. Once you're lonely, self-pity can quickly follow - and our AV's (alcoholic voices) just love a bit of self-pity as it gives them lots of ammunition to get us to cave in to that first drink.
Tired: Your body and mind will need rest. This might not look like proper sleep in the first week or so. Bubble baths; favourite films and books (feel-good ones); cuddles with pets or nice people - as long as you're relaxing as much as possible it can only help.
Best wishes for a gentle sober journey to serenity and recovery.
Hunger : (eat small meals regularly to keep your blood sugar nice and level as this will help your mood / emotions stay as in-balance as possible)
Anger : Try to avoid people / places / chores that are likely to invoke frustration as much as possible while you're getting used to existence without the old crutch alcohol to offer some relief.
Lonely: Try to avoid isolating. Once you're lonely, self-pity can quickly follow - and our AV's (alcoholic voices) just love a bit of self-pity as it gives them lots of ammunition to get us to cave in to that first drink.
Tired: Your body and mind will need rest. This might not look like proper sleep in the first week or so. Bubble baths; favourite films and books (feel-good ones); cuddles with pets or nice people - as long as you're relaxing as much as possible it can only help.
Best wishes for a gentle sober journey to serenity and recovery.
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 1,042
Welcome to SR, first week is the hardest physically (was for me anyway), after that some physical benefits start to show, eyes clear, sleep improves ect... these are good motivators to try for week two. It is tough at first, but so worth it. Good luck to you.
xx
xx
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
Physically, I was very significantly better after the first 2-3 days. My anxiety was through the roof though for a while, up and down. No depression or doubts about my decision about sobriety though, thankfully. I think I may have also had blood sugar issues because I had symptoms pointing to that but did not see a doctor up to about the third month (I would not recommend this). What was by far the hardest to handle for me starting at about day 3 and for a pretty long time: the intense, long and pretty much daily cravings for alcohol. Also being very irritable in unpredictable, random patterns, which was kinda new and out of character for me. My getting sober also coincided with a period when I had to deal with a lot of work deadlines and also family issues -- I believe these made it both more challenging and easier (since I had a lot of practical stuff to focus on). I never really took some "time off" like I see many people do when getting sober (more the opposite, started doing many things and fixing a lot of neglected issues very early on), I believe resting is a good idea for those who can afford it.
Adventurer
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Tuxedo Park, NY
Posts: 1,101
I felt awful physically because I was coming straight off a bender. Mentally I had awful anxiety but I knew I was doing the right thing. My body couldn't take it anymore I had to quit.
Yes, how are you doing Fish??
Yes, how are you doing Fish??
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: California
Posts: 1,428
Originally Posted by firstymer 
So, the better question is, "How are YOU feeling, Fishwife?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: WI
Posts: 529
I'm heading towards Day 4 (again).
I've had long stints of sobriety, months and even years. The first week was/is somewhat challenging, but if I can handle it, anyone can.
Today is the last "first day" for me. Ever.
I've had long stints of sobriety, months and even years. The first week was/is somewhat challenging, but if I can handle it, anyone can.
Today is the last "first day" for me. Ever.
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