Resetti

Naturally the people close to me have noticed I've stopped drinking, they all seem very happy about it, and are tentatively proud of me. But on a number of occasions they've started telling me embarrassing stories about when I was drunk or working out the units of alcohol I must have been drinking (of course it's even worse than they think, with the secret drinking) and telling me how insane it is.

I don't know, I can't tell if they're saying these things to remind me of how bad I was or if they're just trying to lighten the mood and I know they're right, but I'd just rather not here it right now.

I know all these things and where I've been wrong I've tried and am trying to make amends, but having it all thrown at me while I'm trying to stay positive is bringing me down.

All I want to do is hide away.

Dee74

Hi Resetti

My friends did that too - maybe it's a little of the elephant in the room thing - they feel ok to talk about it now?

I felt bad about it too, but I figured that was my problem to fix - asking them stop talking about it would make all of us feel awkward.

I chose to see it as them talking about someone I wasn't anymore.

They stopped after a while - there's only so many stories they can tell

D

bigsombrero

I hear you, Resetti. It's only natural that you'd feel ashamed of your past (I know I sure did!) and it sucks to have it brought back up. But I'm guessing others are so used to you being "Drunk Resetti" that they don't have a whole lot of stories about "Sober Resetti" to bring up just yet. I'm sure that once you start having new sober experiences with your friends (trips, picnics, bike rides, hikes, etc) that they will have new stories to share in group settings. Creating new sober experiences and memories is a great way to embrace this new part of your identity. Get out there and give them something cool to talk about!

Oh yeah: you can always just stop hanging out with them. I'm pretty sure there are plenty of new, nice, fun people that you've never met who share common interests. If your friends don't drop the routine, you can drop those friends and move on with a more positive crowd!

FeelingGreat

I can understand why it's embarrassing but it's interesting they feel they can tell you about it now. Did they give you these stories when you were actually drinking?
If not maybe they knew you wouldn't have cared or taken in the information.

I haven't thought about this before, but would it be like a disturbed person becoming sane, and they are differentiating between the 2 different personalities?

Maybe it's a compliment, like they're accepting you into the society of the sane.

PurpleKnight

Hang in there, after a while they'll start to know the new Sober you, and there'll be new memories created!!

Tooshabby

Yes, this phase will die a natural death. Just think of it as extra motivation to stay sober. If they're friends their motivation is probably good - they probably don't appreciate how badly you feel about it. It will pass :-)

Soberwolf

I had this for a while my dad still reminds me : ( in time youl learn to accept your past as I did mine I still have flashbacks & cringe every now & then & youl make so many good memories in sobriety youl fill the space with sobriety goodness