Anxious and emotional
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: South Central USA
Posts: 1,478
Anxious and emotional
Hi ya'll. I've had such peace living on my own. Tomorrow is the big day I go before the judge for a couple of minutes to be pronounced divorced. Off and on all day I've been on the verge of tears and find myself unable to go to bed (though I'm about to make myself) and I don't know why im feeing this way. He's been extra nice this week calling me "honey" (can't he just be ugly a little bit?) and wishing me an early happy birthday today -- yes, tomorrow is also my birthday. Anyway, I'm just finding myself quite emotional even though I know this is the right thing for me. It took me a very long time to get where I'm at, the mindset and actually being able to stand on my own two feet and make a healthy decision for myself, so I'm about to be mad at for feeling this way. I can't say I'm feeling remorse, I really don't know what's going on.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Silicon Valley, CA
Posts: 2,066
Happy almost birthday!!!
Also, it's okay to be sad. You're closing a very significant chapter in your life, Katchie. You had children with this man and although you had many unhappy times, I know you had happy and joyous times with him too. Also, being single must be a new strange sensation for you too. Change isn't easy for many people.
Cut yourself some slack and be kind to yourself. I'm wishing you a happiness, peace and love.
Also, it's okay to be sad. You're closing a very significant chapter in your life, Katchie. You had children with this man and although you had many unhappy times, I know you had happy and joyous times with him too. Also, being single must be a new strange sensation for you too. Change isn't easy for many people.
Cut yourself some slack and be kind to yourself. I'm wishing you a happiness, peace and love.
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,281
Hi Katchie,
Happy birthday! May you have peace, health and clarity to see the beauty around you, and much love. It's ironic that only as I let go of ideals of what I thought love was, am I finding a deep love for myself, and the love of God that resonates through us and the universe.
Stay spiritually fit and take good care of yourself today.
This self compassion exercise was given to me by my physical therapist, who is also wise in emotional healing.
Exercise 2: Self-Compassion Break | Kristin Neff
More here.
Self-Compassion Exercises by Dr. Kristin Neff
Stung said it very well. Thoughts and prayers are with you. (((Hugs)))
Ktf
Happy birthday! May you have peace, health and clarity to see the beauty around you, and much love. It's ironic that only as I let go of ideals of what I thought love was, am I finding a deep love for myself, and the love of God that resonates through us and the universe.
Stay spiritually fit and take good care of yourself today.
This self compassion exercise was given to me by my physical therapist, who is also wise in emotional healing.
Exercise 2: Self-Compassion Break | Kristin Neff
More here.
Self-Compassion Exercises by Dr. Kristin Neff
Stung said it very well. Thoughts and prayers are with you. (((Hugs)))
Ktf
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Katchie....I think almost everyone.....no matter what the circumstances....have this same kind of reaction when things become "finalized". Most everyone will tell you that there were some tears. Allow yourself to be human and have the feelings without questioning yourself......
The tearful phase tends to pass fairly quickly, though....after it is over and you get a night or two of sleep......
I will be thinking about you.....
dandylion
The tearful phase tends to pass fairly quickly, though....after it is over and you get a night or two of sleep......
I will be thinking about you.....
dandylion
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
Posts: 4,136
Originally Posted by Katchie 
Hi ya'll. I've had such peace living on my own. Tomorrow is the big day I go before the judge for a couple of minutes to be pronounced divorced. Off and on all day I've been on the verge of tears and find myself unable to go to bed (though I'm about to make myself) and I don't know why im feeing this way. He's been extra nice this week calling me "honey" (can't he just be ugly a little bit?) and wishing me an early happy birthday today -- yes, tomorrow is also my birthday. Anyway, I'm just finding myself quite emotional even though I know this is the right thing for me. It took me a very long time to get where I'm at, the mindset and actually being able to stand on my own two feet and make a healthy decision for myself, so I'm about to be mad at for feeling this way. I can't say I'm feeling remorse, I really don't know what's going on.
I would say you are in a transition and pretty soon it will be time for you to PUSH through all the 'stuff' that has been holding you back/blocking you from doing the things you need to do in order to be happy. Us here on SR just want you to be happy...
BeWell
and
God Bless
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Hi Katchie I bet this will be a breakthrough for you, even though sad. If he's being nice, well good, it's better than nasty, and your memory is longer than a few 'honeys'.
Happy Birthday for tomorrow.
Happy Birthday for tomorrow.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,872
Katchie-many many hugs!!! Btdt....not going to sugar coat it-it's not fun or easy or anything. In my mind I was thinking about the difference between our wedding day and almost ten years later to the day standing in front of a judge telling him with Gods truth that I no longer desired to be married to that man. Not sonething we want to do, but a necessary evil with this situation. I know you'll have more peace once it's over....and a fresh start. You got out....you are free of the crazy. Peace to you today, friend! Happy Birthday-and may God bless you this day and always.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Babe...it's a life change. It's a look back at the good...and the bad. It's ok to feel this way. It's a step at a time. You know you are doing the right thing, that is for sure.
Much love, many hugs...and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!
xxx
Much love, many hugs...and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!
xxx
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,388
What you are feeling right now is perfectly normal . . . an emotional roller coaster. You've been through so much, and then in a moment, all is over.
I can only repeat what many said to me: "Be gentle to yourself these days." And these emotions you are having, they will start stabilizing after a week or two. Slowly but surely.
Just allow yourself to feel how you feel, and then allow yourself to be happy.
And happy early bday!
I can only repeat what many said to me: "Be gentle to yourself these days." And these emotions you are having, they will start stabilizing after a week or two. Slowly but surely.
Just allow yourself to feel how you feel, and then allow yourself to be happy.
And happy early bday!
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
Originally Posted by Forourgirls
In my mind I was thinking about the difference between our wedding day and almost ten years later to the day standing in front of a judge telling him with Gods truth that I no longer desired to be married to that man.
The more important news is HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Spoil yourself today like you never have before Katchie - do anything & everything you feel inclined to do for comfort or joy!! The more indulgent, the better - you deserve it! ((((((hugs))))))
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 976
Sending big hugs Katchie!
I felt the same way when I divorced my 1st husband, and I was the one who wanted the divorce. It's a big change.
Look at it this way, you are giving yourself the best birthday gift ever...Freedom!
Happy Happy Birthday!
I felt the same way when I divorced my 1st husband, and I was the one who wanted the divorce. It's a big change.
Look at it this way, you are giving yourself the best birthday gift ever...Freedom!
Happy Happy Birthday!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,699
Happy Birthday!
From here out your birthday is going to be such a symbol of FREEDOM to you!
Oh, Katchie, you've been through hell and back, and today is a benchmark that you took action to change everything! Of course your emotions are kicking your butt - what a friggin whirlwind rollercoaster ride. Feel it- whatever comes over the next few days - you've carried the weight of everything for long enough and you deserve to feel it, set it down, and let it go.
I cannot wait for your 1 year from now update. ((HUGS)) Have a blessed day, Katchie!
From here out your birthday is going to be such a symbol of FREEDOM to you!
Oh, Katchie, you've been through hell and back, and today is a benchmark that you took action to change everything! Of course your emotions are kicking your butt - what a friggin whirlwind rollercoaster ride. Feel it- whatever comes over the next few days - you've carried the weight of everything for long enough and you deserve to feel it, set it down, and let it go.
I cannot wait for your 1 year from now update. ((HUGS)) Have a blessed day, Katchie!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Right here, right now!
Posts: 3,424
Katchie-
They talk about how as a species we always remember where we are when a big event happens. For example I will never forget the day my brother was born, where I was etc. On the not so happy side I will not forget where I was on 9/11.
Though on a much more individual challenge in my life, I will never forget exactly where I was and how I felt the day I found out about my divorce. I have never felt (before or since) such a feeling of acute sadness.....it almost brought me to my knees. It did not last forever but it was a feeling I won't forget any time soon.
Please be gentle with you right now.
They talk about how as a species we always remember where we are when a big event happens. For example I will never forget the day my brother was born, where I was etc. On the not so happy side I will not forget where I was on 9/11.
Though on a much more individual challenge in my life, I will never forget exactly where I was and how I felt the day I found out about my divorce. I have never felt (before or since) such a feeling of acute sadness.....it almost brought me to my knees. It did not last forever but it was a feeling I won't forget any time soon.
Please be gentle with you right now.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,792
Katchie,
It was a tough day when I divorced. Two days before he asked me if we were making the right decision.
We had to sit in front of the judge and he asked both of us questions. I cried and cried. The judge stopped the questioning and asked someone to get me a Kleenex. It will be 1 year Oct. 29 and he has not changed one bit, probably drinking more then ever, he is distant, in a fog and just is not happy, its very sad!! No regrets.
I know it will be hard, but nothing will ever change. Hugs my friend, I will be thinking about you!!
It was a tough day when I divorced. Two days before he asked me if we were making the right decision.
We had to sit in front of the judge and he asked both of us questions. I cried and cried. The judge stopped the questioning and asked someone to get me a Kleenex. It will be 1 year Oct. 29 and he has not changed one bit, probably drinking more then ever, he is distant, in a fog and just is not happy, its very sad!! No regrets.
I know it will be hard, but nothing will ever change. Hugs my friend, I will be thinking about you!!
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