want2feelGood

i stay sober all week. weekends come and i sit in bars with my boyfriend fri, sat and sundays. we start off having a great time, then i drink too much and start to take things the wrong way or my depression screams out or i start making things up in my head. then my boyfriend gets mad at me. then he starts getting mean, calling me names, that im a cheater, a piece of u know what, that its my fault we fight, that i make him call me those names cuz i upset him, etc. then the rest of the day and night is pure horror. it is all my fault, i know. i want to quit drinking. i dont want to waste my weekends at the bar. but that is what my boyfriend and i do, along with all our friends. my only fear right not of quitting completely is because i will lose my boyfriend of 2 years. but im starting to think its a good thing to lose him. why would i want that type of relationship. during the week we dont drink and its really good. no fights at all, and his is a great guy to me but then i dont remember the last weekend i wasnt crying about something once i started drinking. why does alcohol fuel my depression? why can others drink and be happy and fun and nice. i get sad and angry. i need to get some self worth somehow. i was 9 months sober once and i felt great!! i want that back but i really dont think its possible. is sober real?

ScottFromWI

Sober is definitely real, you had 9 months of it as proof. I think your decision is a smart one. Look at the obvious first - if you want sobriety, hanging out in bars all weekend is not going to work. And if the relationship is not working otherwise moving on may be the best move you could make.

Reset

I suspect that any of those "happy and fun and nice" drinkers would eventually turn somewhat depressed and angry if given too much alcohol over time. In other words, it's just happening to you a bit sooner than to others.

But you can fix that.

Anna

My opinion is that verbal abuse is not okay, ever, ever. You don't deserve to be spoken to the way your boyfriend talks to you. If there is not respect in a relationship, there is nothing.

It sounds like spending weekends in a bar is not a good thing in your life. Why don't you make plans to do something completely different next weekend?

Carver

If you want to get sober, get sober. If you lose that boyfriend, well, like you said, that may not be such a bad thing, if he's verbally abusive.

You can do it if you want to. We're here to support you.

PurpleKnight

Sobriety can be very real!!

With a change of activities, your decisions about how to spend your free time, you can make it happen!!