The elusive day 4
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: USA
Posts: 68
The elusive day 4
Just finished the elusive day 4 and on my way to sleep to wake up to day 5. I'm really committed this time. My young kids deserve better and I need to be a better Daddy. But the insomnia is dreadful. I have to be up in a few hours and sleep is no where in sight. I have to do it this time. The amount I drink is terrifying. I can not have just 1. It always starts with that first drink. And it NEVER stops after that first drink. Sooo I just have to not have that first one. That first one leads to amounts of vodka that I am truly surprised have not killed me. Downing pints of it in short time. Horrible next mornings. Etc. I've had it. But I can't sleep for the life of me today and thinking about it is making it worse.
Sorry for whining. I'm really just venting. Carry on. Nothing to see here. Good luck all. This is it for me.
Sorry for whining. I'm really just venting. Carry on. Nothing to see here. Good luck all. This is it for me.
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Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,087
Congrats on your commitment, and sounds as though you're pretty dedicated. I know the insomnia sucks, but try not to let it get to you too much. It'll pass in time.
Do you have a recovery plan in place about how to go about rebuilding your new sober life, to help ensure you maintain sobriety? This sobriety thing is a tough battle, that's for sure. All the best!
Do you have a recovery plan in place about how to go about rebuilding your new sober life, to help ensure you maintain sobriety? This sobriety thing is a tough battle, that's for sure. All the best!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: USA
Posts: 68
Thanks you guys. I've pretty much shared with my close friends that I have "issues" with drinking and I intend on stopping. I've developed health concerns that they won't press too hard any more. It's more in my head than anything else about any type of "stigma" for not drinking. I'm pretty sure they are experiencing their own issues but it's almost like a standoff to see who will come out with it first. I chose to give in and say that I'm done.
I'm at my worst when I'm in a bar alone (not with my friends) and left to my own devices. Doesn't matter now though. I like not having to feel guilty or apologize or embarrassed about what I did the night before (if I can even remember most of it). I've had A LOT. Of day 1,2 and 3's. I have to keep this going. For me, my health, and of course my beautiful children.
I'm at my worst when I'm in a bar alone (not with my friends) and left to my own devices. Doesn't matter now though. I like not having to feel guilty or apologize or embarrassed about what I did the night before (if I can even remember most of it). I've had A LOT. Of day 1,2 and 3's. I have to keep this going. For me, my health, and of course my beautiful children.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 302
Congrats on Day 4, im on day 4 as well.
It's been rough but we can do this. I think you are a standup father for putting your children first. You are sacrificing your sleep, emotional stability, and your means of coping, and you are doing it all for them (and yourself as well). I say sacrificing because thats what it feels like, but in reality we are gaining something way better than these toxic substances can provide. We are regaining ourselves, something we probably truly haven't had for a while. This is hard stuff to do, I can barely get through the day sometimes.
This morning I had to force myself to eat something that's usually very appetizing to me, and while I was doing this my mouth was dry, my palms were sweaty, and my hands were shaking. Anxiety is no joke, it can overcome me at any moment right now. It has changed my daily routine and taken me two minor steps back, but that's all right because I believe when it all subsides I will be able to take two huge steps forward.
I want you to know that even if you can't function how you want or should be able to right now, that its ok because you own the bigger picture as long as you stay sober. You will look back on this and be proud that you did the right thing for your children.
Let's take day 5 and claim it as a triumph.
It's been rough but we can do this. I think you are a standup father for putting your children first. You are sacrificing your sleep, emotional stability, and your means of coping, and you are doing it all for them (and yourself as well). I say sacrificing because thats what it feels like, but in reality we are gaining something way better than these toxic substances can provide. We are regaining ourselves, something we probably truly haven't had for a while. This is hard stuff to do, I can barely get through the day sometimes.
This morning I had to force myself to eat something that's usually very appetizing to me, and while I was doing this my mouth was dry, my palms were sweaty, and my hands were shaking. Anxiety is no joke, it can overcome me at any moment right now. It has changed my daily routine and taken me two minor steps back, but that's all right because I believe when it all subsides I will be able to take two huge steps forward.
I want you to know that even if you can't function how you want or should be able to right now, that its ok because you own the bigger picture as long as you stay sober. You will look back on this and be proud that you did the right thing for your children.
Let's take day 5 and claim it as a triumph.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Florida., USA
Posts: 3,252
HI Charlie - Day 5 is excellent. Your sleep will start to get better soon. You are healing every hour that goes by without alcohol.
This just popped into my mind. You might be sleeping more than you think you are. The reason I say this is that I have a Fitbit 1. In case you haven't heard of it, it is a fitness device like a pedometer which measures steps, calories burned, etc. My device also measures sleep if I set the button. Anyway, during the days when I thought I wasn't sleeping, I was. It did record that I was restless, but it also recorded that I was sleeping too, though I didn't think I was. Of course, I slept less, but I WAS sleeping. Hoping you get some sleep soon. Congrats on starting your Day 5.
This just popped into my mind. You might be sleeping more than you think you are. The reason I say this is that I have a Fitbit 1. In case you haven't heard of it, it is a fitness device like a pedometer which measures steps, calories burned, etc. My device also measures sleep if I set the button. Anyway, during the days when I thought I wasn't sleeping, I was. It did record that I was restless, but it also recorded that I was sleeping too, though I didn't think I was. Of course, I slept less, but I WAS sleeping. Hoping you get some sleep soon. Congrats on starting your Day 5.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: USA
Posts: 68
Day 5. Sober. Very tired but great that I'm not tired and feeling sick, ashamed, and embarrassed. Thanks all for your support. You guys are awesome. I'm doing it this time! It's going to be a lifetime. But I just need to get through today. A lifetime is too much to think about right now. Have a nice day everyone.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Hi Charlie
As you've heard a hundred times sleep can take a couple of weeks to start to normalize. Sounds like a really long time but if you don't interupt it with drinking that should help. I take something called Somnapure (all natural but still make sure its ok for you to take ) and it works well.
As you've heard a hundred times sleep can take a couple of weeks to start to normalize. Sounds like a really long time but if you don't interupt it with drinking that should help. I take something called Somnapure (all natural but still make sure its ok for you to take ) and it works well.
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