Does it ever get easier?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 10
Does it ever get easier?
I'm am 103 days sober today and I must say that already I'm seeing drastic changes happening for the better. My only problem right now is that I used to be very social, and now I'm not in fear of being in a situation that triggers me. Last night I decided to test the waters and met some friends out for dinner. Outside patio, awesome weather. Immediately I started to crave a glass of wine. So much so that it consumed my every thought and was not able to engage in conversation like I would have wanted. I didn't cave and I'm very happy about that this morning, but that concerns me that anytime I do anything outside of my recovery activities, I will be triggered. Any thoughts, ideas, solutions?? This is very frustrating!
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
The obsessive thoughts do die down in time - but it takes time for healing to happen.
Well done last night! That is a victory. Thoughts are just thoughts. Habitual thought takes time to die down, but it does! Keep it going. It gets much easier.
Well done last night! That is a victory. Thoughts are just thoughts. Habitual thought takes time to die down, but it does! Keep it going. It gets much easier.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
yes...
it definitely gets easier.
For me, the first year was intensely challenging on a regular basis in so many ways.... but it got easier and better the second year....
See my post from earlier today about staying sober traveling, weddings, etc.... It still can get challenging. But it's all so worth it.
it definitely gets easier.
For me, the first year was intensely challenging on a regular basis in so many ways.... but it got easier and better the second year....
See my post from earlier today about staying sober traveling, weddings, etc.... It still can get challenging. But it's all so worth it.
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Gulf Coast, USA
Posts: 2,229
Great job on last night! That's not easy to do, especially early on in recovery.
...and yes, it definitely does get easier. With each day that passes, you are getting stronger. The triggers may always remain with us, but their severity decrease to levels that are much easier to cope with.
I think it's also very important to never get complacent. Never forget where one drink today will lead you to tomorrow.
Well done on not caving last night!
...and yes, it definitely does get easier. With each day that passes, you are getting stronger. The triggers may always remain with us, but their severity decrease to levels that are much easier to cope with.
I think it's also very important to never get complacent. Never forget where one drink today will lead you to tomorrow.
Well done on not caving last night!
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: Sweden
Posts: 1,649
Recovery is a journey and you are constantly changing in the process. I couldn't be around alcohol in the beginning, so I avoided social events. Later on in the sober journey I had to face some of my social phobias, I'd spent most of my life thinking I was comfortable in social situations but I really wasn't.
But, it was another twist in the path of the journey and I stayed on the path and worked through it.
You might need a few months or even longer away from triggering situations.
After my staying away from bars and parties in the beginning I eventually found I could be comfortable at these kinds of events and they don't bother me at all now. The most important thing is knowing yourself, and making sure that taking care of yourself is part of the plan.
We talk about things like an exit plan and bringing a sober buddy to events: those strategies are really helpful.
But, it was another twist in the path of the journey and I stayed on the path and worked through it.
You might need a few months or even longer away from triggering situations.
After my staying away from bars and parties in the beginning I eventually found I could be comfortable at these kinds of events and they don't bother me at all now. The most important thing is knowing yourself, and making sure that taking care of yourself is part of the plan.
We talk about things like an exit plan and bringing a sober buddy to events: those strategies are really helpful.
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Great job on 103 Days!! 
Try to organise social events around say going for a coffee, we need to get away from the idea that the social universe revolves around alcohol and going to places that serve alcohol, there are theatres, cinemas, coffee shops, shopping, hanging out on a Saturday afternoon, activities, hobbies, interests.
It'll take time to carve out new social activities, but it can be done!!
Try to organise social events around say going for a coffee, we need to get away from the idea that the social universe revolves around alcohol and going to places that serve alcohol, there are theatres, cinemas, coffee shops, shopping, hanging out on a Saturday afternoon, activities, hobbies, interests.
It'll take time to carve out new social activities, but it can be done!!
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Florida., USA
Posts: 3,252
Great job on 103 days Jenefer. Very awesome. I'm only on Day 28, but I'm thinking the next time a similar situation happens, you will be better prepared for your emotions and it won't be as difficult. You faced the demon and stayed sober. Good for you.
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
I would try focusing on your success of testing the waters and passing, than the frustration/cravings you experienced. I believe in time you will be able to attend those events and not think too much about it.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 10
Thank you everyone for your encouraging feedback!! I go to AA often, but it's definitely very comforting having this amazing online community for additional support. Today I'm back to normal and thankful I remained sober. Also grateful to know that I can stay strong in those situations. But it wasn't easy! I just wish those cravings would just go away for ever! But then I wouldn't be an alcoholic right?! Thank you for reminding me that it does get easier and also for reminding me where that first drink ALWAYS leads me! It's easy to forget. You guys are awesome!
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,472
Well done on 100+ days! I remember the first time I got sober for over half a year, it did start to get easier. Going to the store wasn't always a mission in avoiding the liquor aisle and social events got easier. The hardest thing for me is traveling for work. I get alcohol pushed on me over and over and over at those functions and have learned to prepare for it ahead of time mentally to have the strength to be able to shut it down at every attempt. Well done on keeping the beast under control!
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Dublin
Posts: 75
Well done on over a hundred days and as everyone has said, it does get easier. I've also found that every time I face down and conquer urges such as that which hit you, I've been better able and stronger for the next time. When you face down an urge successfully, you gain strength to do it again.
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Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 147
Awesome job. I read an article the other day that said in early sobriety your number one job is sobriety. You're doing great. Keep it up. I'm on day 25 and I have realized some changes in my attitudes. But of course we want everything now. I have to remind myself things take time.
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 172
You are still very new in the process. It will get better over time, especially if you are working on treating the underlying alcoholism that makes you want to drink. For now, it may be best not to put yourself in compromising situations or test yourself too much.
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