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Probably was not the best idea

Old 10-04-2015, 01:25 AM
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Probably was not the best idea

My girl friend had gotten us tickets to a play in Hollywood. She didn't check in advance what the venue was and it turns out the venue is a bar! Yes, a fudgen bar!! I had a hard time not walking over to the bartender and asking for a beer.

I told my gf that I understand she was not aware that the venue is a bar but it really was not a good idea to have taken me there tonight. And to next time please do a little more research. If I am going to quit hanging out somewhere it is best not to hang out at my weakest spot. I go there and have a hell of a time... I guess I had a hell of time tonight but in a different way.

The play was a remake of Point Break. It was really funny and I laughed hard many times. I enjoyed it a lot when it was going on but waiting an hour and a half before and a twenty minute intermission is where I had a difficult time. I was agitated at times and a bit of short fuse.

Close call. To close to soon for me.
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Old 10-04-2015, 01:32 AM
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First of all, I love your QOTSA avatar.

Well done for getting through it! I think it's really nice of your girlfriend to get those tickets for you both, and she probably didn't realise it was a bar. The thing I have to remind myself to accept is that alcohol is everywhere, I cannot avoid it. It will be at every gig, comedy show, theatre I go to. I just have to deal with it and make sure I have a plan to not drink.

At least you both know from now on
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Old 10-04-2015, 01:45 AM
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Originally Posted by BringingBackB View Post
First of all, I love your QOTSA avatar.

Well done for getting through it! I think it's really nice of your girlfriend to get those tickets for you both, and she probably didn't realise it was a bar. The thing I have to remind myself to accept is that alcohol is everywhere, I cannot avoid it. It will be at every gig, comedy show, theatre I go to. I just have to deal with it and make sure I have a plan to not drink.

At least you both know from now on
You are the first person to ever make mention of my avatar and know where it is from I like yours also: Rorschach.

Alcohol being everywhere is truth. But for me not even having a week sober and struggling as I have been; it was to soon to be in a place like that tonight.

On the way home went and bought ice cream, ginger beer sodas, and other junk food. Not good for health either but at least I am not drinking booze.
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Old 10-04-2015, 04:48 AM
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If your girlfriend says let's pop into the store to buy some food and they sell alcohol in that store, do you start berating her for "not doing her research"? You have a problem with drinking. If you don't drink the stuff, it's not going to affect you. It may be sitting close to you, in a bottle behind the bar or on the counter of a store, but it can't get you drunk unless you buy it and pour it down your throat.

That's the great value of having a plan to stay sober. But it's down to you, not your GF to sort it out.
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Old 10-04-2015, 05:05 AM
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Normal people don't think about things like that...at all. They have no clue and don't "get" our problem. When my wife would propose things like that in early sobriety I would just tell her "At this point that's probably not some place I need to be" end of story.

Good on you for making it through it. Not many could.
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Old 10-04-2015, 05:25 AM
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Glad you made it through. It was necessary to change where I went, what I did and who I hung out with when I made a decision to not die of drinking poison daily.

Those decisions weren't not always easy - simply removing alcohol from my daily life yet going to the same places, interacting with the same people and doing the same things would have never allowed me to stack much sober time.

Around 6 months I met up with a friend at a franchise sports place to watch football - that was my first venture back somewhere I use to go.

Change is possible but as you aptly commented we can't just go to the same places!

Thanks for the post
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Old 10-04-2015, 05:31 AM
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I am a professional musician and often must play in venues that serve alcohol. Booze is omnipresent and I have to find a way to negotiate the world with this reality. The way I do it is not to pick up that first drink. I wish you the best. Sobriety is not easy but it is wonderful.
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Old 10-04-2015, 08:31 AM
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Great job on staying sober!! It's always up to you!

Glad you are able to talk to GF. Support always helps. Now she knows.
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Old 10-04-2015, 10:09 AM
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Great job on making it through!!
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Old 10-04-2015, 11:45 AM
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Good job on not drinking & excellent realisation with your last sentence
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Old 10-04-2015, 12:22 PM
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Very glad that you made it through, GoesWithThe Flow, and that you are your GF are now on the same page.

As others have pointed out, Normies don't get it (or how very fortunate they are that they don't). It is very wise of you to want to avoid triggering places and situations, especially in the early days. Bottom line, though, is that it is ultimately up to us to garner the strength to continue to say no to alcohol no matter the place or situation.

Glad you enjoyed the show.
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Old 10-06-2015, 01:52 AM
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Originally Posted by endlesspatience View Post
If your girlfriend says let's pop into the store to buy some food and they sell alcohol in that store, do you start berating her for "not doing her research"? You have a problem with drinking. If you don't drink the stuff, it's not going to affect you. It may be sitting close to you, in a bottle behind the bar or on the counter of a store, but it can't get you drunk unless you buy it and pour it down your throat.

That's the great value of having a plan to stay sober. But it's down to you, not your GF to sort it out.
I don't expect you to read all the post I or anyone for that matter post. But if you had read my previous post you would know that my weakest point is a bar. Me + walk into a bar = I drink; is how that equation works out for me. Everyone has different weak points, mine is a bar.

Walking into a store with booze is way different than being in a bar. For one, 98% of people at a bar are drinking alcohol around me. Its not on a aisle that I could avoid, its everywhere in your face, so that is not a valid comparison.

She wants to help me get sober then she should be more aware of where she plans for us to go; I don't make plans, I just go with the flow.

In the end if I drink, its on me. But you know what, when I drink I don't really care. She cares more about than I do...
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Old 10-06-2015, 01:57 AM
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Thank you to all who gave me awesome words of encouragement. I have been sober for four days now. I felt good today about being sober and I am sure I will feel good about this tomorrow. I really feel that at this point I have to just take it day by day until I rack up at least a month. Once I get there I feel I will be okay about being sober. I have done this before, not to long ago, I can do it again!
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Old 10-06-2015, 02:06 AM
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Originally Posted by Fly N Buy View Post
Glad you made it through. It was necessary to change where I went, what I did and who I hung out with when I made a decision to not die of drinking poison daily.

Those decisions weren't not always easy - simply removing alcohol from my daily life yet going to the same places, interacting with the same people and doing the same things would have never allowed me to stack much sober time.

Around 6 months I met up with a friend at a franchise sports place to watch football - that was my first venture back somewhere I use to go.

Change is possible but as you aptly commented we can't just go to the same places!

Thanks for the post
I went sober for about 104 days before having some beer again. During that time after about five weeks I could go to friends parties or a bar/restaurant and have a soda. But the first month I stayed in because I was really weak. Once I made past my first month I felt that I might complete my three months. I did complete my time but then I tried control and that did not work. Now I am back at square one and I am struggling.

Originally Posted by Verdantia View Post
I am a professional musician and often must play in venues that serve alcohol. Booze is omnipresent and I have to find a way to negotiate the world with this reality. The way I do it is not to pick up that first drink. I wish you the best. Sobriety is not easy but it is wonderful.
Isn't that the truth! I can't escape the booze, we just got to learn to live with it. I am beginning to realize not picking up the first drink, even at a bar, is the key to success. That is the hard part.
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Old 10-06-2015, 03:41 AM
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Have you given any thought to what your recovery plan might be Goes?
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