keeppushing

I'm sitting here (it's morning where I am) dreading that I won't be able to have wine with lunch. The struggle with the AV began and escalated in a split second. Why did it have to be so hard? Why was every...single...day...so...hard? I didn't deserve this! I was conned into falling into this trap! I was young! Naive! It wasn't my fault!

Then something hit me. Maybe it was the scenes of refugees desperately seeking help in Europe. They didn't ask for this and neither did all the other hundreds of millions who have suffered the pain of war during the ages.

I'm in a bad place. I want to get to a good place. It will take a tremendous amount of hard work. Now stop whining and start winning.

Thank you for listening.

KP

Beeraholic

You got this. I feel the same way right now, wishing that I could just have a beer with lunch tomorrow. But I can't. Too many days have been wasted with that lunch beer.

You can do it, let's both start winning and stop whining

Dee74

Early recovery is difficult, but it's not insurmontable KP, and it won;t always be this hard.

I think you've found the right attitude

D

D

Frank14

Tell your AV to go pound sand. Go bother some weakling as you are strong and aren't going to listen to the lies anymore! I was there yesterday.Trust me, you can do this!

PurpleKnight

Things will get better the longer you're Sober!!

As your name says, keep pushing through Keeppushing!!

dwtbd

My AV dreads not "being able to drink". I have yet to regret making the choice to not drink. My AV (any of my thoughts of alcohol use) views choosing to avoid the consequences of drinking as being in a state of deprivation, that I am missing out on some kind of positive result. I know what drinking has done to me in the past and do not doubt that drinking now or in the future will lead to the same results, I choose to not let those things happen .
It was a big perspective change to make and a long time coming. I had stopped drinking hundreds of times in the past without that perspective and the AV's arguments would always win out. Since turning the tables on the AV and being confident in my ability to make the Choice to not drink , I have become comfortable in my choices. Starving the AV out, being resolute in making the choice to not pick up a drink, no matter what, has made it so much less a battle or internal struggle has weakened the AV to such a degree that I am a nondrinker , and not what I thought I'd be i.e. a person who doesn't drink and struggles along. Early times are hard , lots of time of battling and struggling, but with each instance of making the better choice , the stronger my resolve got and the weaker the AV got , the feeling of deprivation is a lie and a trick the addiction uses to stay alive. If you're like me the inevitable results of choosing to drink are always going to be the same. Be comfortable in and own making the best choice for yourself, your AV will hate it and that's just fine because that's how you squash it and send it packing .

saoutchik

Good post dwtbd, as you say when did anyone ever regret not drinking

Hevyn

KP - I was all over the place in the early days. Thankfully, things do settle down. If it was always that difficult, most of us wouldn't make it. We promise it gets easier. Glad that you wanted to talk things over.