cricket123

xah(yeah I get to say this) showed up last weekend to get his stuff unannounced. I was scheduled to go to work at the time he showed up. well I called in and said I was going to be late. XAH decided to call the sheriff so he could get all his stuff out of the barn. Well the sheriff came out Xah got his bike messed around with it and the sheriff told him I had to be somewhere so Xah said he was all set for the day.

He was suppose to contact me to set a mutual date so he could get his stuff, but his take on it was it is not suppose to be convenient to me.

So back and forth we go through the lawyers to set a date for him to pick up his stuff so I can be here(he does have sticky fingers). He came over yesterday took some stuff, called me names and left. Said I was available today (one of the options.) so he was going to come over in the morning and get more stuff. OK not too happy that he is dictating it but if he can get all his stuff and leave than ok.

Well, I get up get ready make myself breakfast look at the clock and text him are you coming over. Well he replies I want to get my stuff out of the closet(I got most of it for him yesterday overlooked his baseball card) I wait around and decide to go get me a soda and when I walk out the door he is in the driveway waiting and the sheriff pulls in. Tells the sheriff I won't give him his baseball cards (not in the settlement I really did not have to give them to him) and he wants his stuff out of the closet. I just say you can have your baseball cards(not worth much) and go get them. I have to make 2 trips and when I made one trip they(sheriff and Xah) want to see in the closet. No problem well the 2 boxes of baseball cards were still there and Xah made a point of pointing it out and implying I was not going to give them to him. proceed to call me names and got his stuff and decided to leave for the day. (at the end my behavior was not nice)

Well I think he is doing things just to harass me now. How do I stop this? Or don't I he does have 45 from sept 25th to get his stuff.

Cricket

SparkleKitty

How much stuff is there? The sooner it is entirely out the better. Why all this one thing at a time nonsense?

cricket123

I don't know why he doesn't make one day of it and get everything. We've been together for 30 years. Six months from now I'm still going to find things that are his. I guess I don't get it. It just feels like more harassment to me.

maia1234

Cricket- Box or bag up all his stuff. Put it in the garage, basement or front porch. text him that it is all there, come and get it all out of here. If not it will be sitting here for the taking. Give him everything that is his, even his pots and pans. Get it all all out of your house. He will make weekly trips to your house with the cops if you let him. I would not engage with him, he loves pxssing you off!! Don't let him. Don't get angry, smile and be kind and pray for him. Thats what will kill him the most, and it won't eat away at you.

Someone told me on the A forum, to pray for someone like that, it will lessen your anger!! Hugs my friend, you are almost there!!

cricket123

I would love to bag up everything. But most of the stuff is in the barn and it is tools, engines, junk. I thought of moving it all out of there but I don't know where I could put it so it would not be damaged. Then we have the storage shed. His way of storing stuff is to throw it in there - I have no idea what is in there and I am working around 60 hours a week right now so I don't have time to go through it. very frustrating.

And to top it off he has things that are mine and gives them to me a little at a time. Maybe I should show up at his place and demand he gives them to me. (I'm not going to do that just a thought) grr.

BunnyNest

This will drag on forever. Can you take a few days off, get some friends to come help and just box up as much as you can from the house?

Or start small, maybe 30 minutes a day and take it room by room. Then store that stuff in the barn. He can then do a quick check on the room after you are finished to see there is nothing left for him there.


I'm worried that if he doesn't have everything in 45 days that he will then ask for more time (blaming you) and get it, and this will continue. I would talk to your lawyer about pictures of the barn and storage shed, and a certified letter telling him one or two days you are available for him to bring a moving truck to get it all. Make sure you have nothing there that belongs to you.

How frustrating for you!

Katchie

If there is anything in the barn you want, place it somewhere else, box up his crud and put it in the barn with the rest of his crud. Then perhaps he can willy-nilly get his things at his leisure, but he won't have to bother you and maybe you won't have to be ther to witness the show?? That's all it seems to be, a big show for the sheriff with a little finger poking at you. Figuring out a way to get OUT of his way will make all of his efforts to poke you less enjoyable.

jjj111

That does seem like a good solution, if you can put all of his stuff in the barn and get all of your stuff out of the barn, then you can just give him access to the barn and change the locks on the house? That way you won't have to have any more interaction with him or even be there when he gets the stuff out of the barn?

cricket123

Locks on the house has been changed and I put locks on the barn and shed per my lawyer.

I may be able to remove anything that I keeping - I'll have to rent a storage room but it would be worth it.

Just not sure how I am going to move a few things