On the Fence
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 1
On the Fence
Hi everybody! I've been reading around the site some and it seems like an awesome community. Congratulations to every one here who has recovered! 👍
I've been considering sobering up for a while. I get that way when it's bad and then don't think about it for months. I'll not drink for a day or two, consider going to meetings, and then go right back. I haven't had any today and know I need to stop but it's hard to commit.
Some about where I'm at: I'm only 26 and have been drinking nearly everyday since I turned 21. I've been drinking a six pack a night and have considered this cutting back significantly. It's always a struggle to stop there ,I often don't, and 1-2 times a month I'll black out.
I've had to quit a few things in the past and haven't looked back. I quit taking benzodiazepines because I'd abused them. I had a really bad habbit with synthetic marijuana. I used it heavily daily for several years. That whole experience was pretty rough on me and hard to quit. It's now been over two years without It! My life's infinitely better for stopping.
That being said alcohol is really hard for me to let go of. I use it for so much and it's still very enjoyable to me (most of the time) As opposed to synthetic marijuana for instance which had me very sick, ruining relationships and mentally unstable.
I can't control it though. I may be able to cut back, but never do without. And if I have more around when I get buzzed I don't stop till it's gone or I pass out. I've rarely been to a party where I didn't black out. And I had to stop buying liquor because I'd intend to make a few strong drinks and down the bottle that night, every time.
I'm trying to turn a new leaf also and my addiction won't fit into the plan. Recently got my commercial drivers license and will be shooting myself in the foot if I don't stop. Some people get away with drinking on their days off. But from previous experience I'm kind of all or nothing when it comes to drugs. So I don't think that's for me. If I started sneaking drinks on nights when I have to stay in the sleeper I know it would catch up to me. From being exhausted and sick, or from employers catching wind. That's definitely not the only reason I want to quit but it makes me face my unwillingness and makes it more pressing.
I've been considering sobering up for a while. I get that way when it's bad and then don't think about it for months. I'll not drink for a day or two, consider going to meetings, and then go right back. I haven't had any today and know I need to stop but it's hard to commit.
Some about where I'm at: I'm only 26 and have been drinking nearly everyday since I turned 21. I've been drinking a six pack a night and have considered this cutting back significantly. It's always a struggle to stop there ,I often don't, and 1-2 times a month I'll black out.
I've had to quit a few things in the past and haven't looked back. I quit taking benzodiazepines because I'd abused them. I had a really bad habbit with synthetic marijuana. I used it heavily daily for several years. That whole experience was pretty rough on me and hard to quit. It's now been over two years without It! My life's infinitely better for stopping.
That being said alcohol is really hard for me to let go of. I use it for so much and it's still very enjoyable to me (most of the time) As opposed to synthetic marijuana for instance which had me very sick, ruining relationships and mentally unstable.
I can't control it though. I may be able to cut back, but never do without. And if I have more around when I get buzzed I don't stop till it's gone or I pass out. I've rarely been to a party where I didn't black out. And I had to stop buying liquor because I'd intend to make a few strong drinks and down the bottle that night, every time.
I'm trying to turn a new leaf also and my addiction won't fit into the plan. Recently got my commercial drivers license and will be shooting myself in the foot if I don't stop. Some people get away with drinking on their days off. But from previous experience I'm kind of all or nothing when it comes to drugs. So I don't think that's for me. If I started sneaking drinks on nights when I have to stay in the sleeper I know it would catch up to me. From being exhausted and sick, or from employers catching wind. That's definitely not the only reason I want to quit but it makes me face my unwillingness and makes it more pressing.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: North Texas
Posts: 183
Welcome.. Thanks for sharing your story. Im right there with ya.. Im 13 days sober and I am starting to think a lot clearer now. Its so worth it , you just have to get past hell week. Set some goals mate , small ones at first like.. go 10 20 or 30 days and re asses what you want to do.
Cheers.
Dru -
Cheers.
Dru -
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi.
Many after exploring their drinking history decide to do something about the situation which ends up being only temporary and for various reasons quickly resumes the path they were on leading to their personal misery.
Couda, wooda and shouda becomes part of their story of regret. That’s because to defeat our alcoholism requires self honesty, acceptance we cannot drink in safety, work and CHANGE. This is not your usual alcoholics’ strong suites as so much energy is required to sober up for OUR SELF. It takes a four letter word for us, TIME.
BE WELL
Many after exploring their drinking history decide to do something about the situation which ends up being only temporary and for various reasons quickly resumes the path they were on leading to their personal misery.
Couda, wooda and shouda becomes part of their story of regret. That’s because to defeat our alcoholism requires self honesty, acceptance we cannot drink in safety, work and CHANGE. This is not your usual alcoholics’ strong suites as so much energy is required to sober up for OUR SELF. It takes a four letter word for us, TIME.
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,854
Welcome to SR, shotinthefoot; glad you found us. Congratulations on acquiring your commercial driver's license.
Choosing sobriety has been one of the best choices I have made in my life.; I have found it an exponentially better way to live.
Again, welcome.
Choosing sobriety has been one of the best choices I have made in my life.; I have found it an exponentially better way to live.
Again, welcome.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,285
Welcome, shotinthefoot!
I'm 70 and have had go-arounds with alcohol several times since I was 21. Moderating never worked for me and each time I started again (once after 13 years!), it was harder to stop. I'm over a year sober now and know that alcohol is not an option for me, ever. I feel so much better without it!
I'm 70 and have had go-arounds with alcohol several times since I was 21. Moderating never worked for me and each time I started again (once after 13 years!), it was harder to stop. I'm over a year sober now and know that alcohol is not an option for me, ever. I feel so much better without it!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,524
Great to meet you, shotinthefoot!
How wonderful that you're seeing what needs to happen. I knew in my 20's that I didn't drink normally. One or two was a waste of time - and nothing that didn't involve alcohol seemed fun. So I didn't bother to heed the warnings. I came stumbling in to SR completely destroyed as a much older person. That never needs to happen to you. Welcome!
How wonderful that you're seeing what needs to happen. I knew in my 20's that I didn't drink normally. One or two was a waste of time - and nothing that didn't involve alcohol seemed fun. So I didn't bother to heed the warnings. I came stumbling in to SR completely destroyed as a much older person. That never needs to happen to you. Welcome!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: London
Posts: 21
Hello Shotinthefoot, fantastic that you are looking to change your life, like Hevyn I knew in my 20's that my drinking and need to drink was not normal, and I wish I had done something sooner - though it is never to late. This site is fantastic, lots of lovely people who will help you and have your interests at heart. Good luck.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,465
Welcome! It seems you have a very important reason to stop drinking, aside from the usual family/friends/health. You could not only lose your job, but your livelihood if you lost your license. I hope you decide to stop drinking. We do understand how hard this is and we're here for you.
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