How?
I did it by accepting my addiction for what it is. And then letting others help me find ways to deal with life on its own terms. There's really nothing to fight anymore once that happens so willpower is really not even needed in that sense.
I decided to save myself. I stopped running and turned to look at the messes I'd made in my life. That was the hard part, knowing that I would have to face everything without being numbed. Each day I got through gave me a bit more confidence and the positive things built on each other. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I know for sure that you can do this.
I know for sure that you can do this.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 15
i feel like I've been drugged for so long I have no clue how to live sober. I'm self aware I guess of how I am when drunk or medicated but have no idea how to be sober. I don't get the benefits other then losing weight, although I don't need to, not hiding vodka etc, not going to the pharmacy and not having withdrawals
Otherwise being sober is so boring. Don't get me wrong these are the thoughts I'm having that I'd love to change!
Otherwise being sober is so boring. Don't get me wrong these are the thoughts I'm having that I'd love to change!
I soon realised that it isn't about willpower. My self-will is sneaky and wants alcohol more than sobriety at times.
I accepted I needed help and went to AA, where I accepted that I am powerless (once I've started drinking) over alcohol. so it's the first drink that is my game of russian roulette and has the potential to lead me where I don't want to want to go to, but will want to go to once that drink is drunk.
I have accepted that there will always be a pilot light for booze for me, and I have accepted that I need to stay away from it, or carry on being the person I hate most.
I accepted that sometimes I will feel an urge to drink, and it is my responsibility to get past that. Accept that cravings are uncomfortable, but they won't kill me (I didn't need to detox by the way).
I accepted that things would have to change. I accepted that I would have to change.
Acceptance kept me sober. My will; my emotions; and my knowledge are all unreliable - they are all too easily swayed by my AV (alcoholic voice).
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
The courage to change the things I can.
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Best wishes to you at the start of your sober journey.
I accepted I needed help and went to AA, where I accepted that I am powerless (once I've started drinking) over alcohol. so it's the first drink that is my game of russian roulette and has the potential to lead me where I don't want to want to go to, but will want to go to once that drink is drunk.
I have accepted that there will always be a pilot light for booze for me, and I have accepted that I need to stay away from it, or carry on being the person I hate most.
I accepted that sometimes I will feel an urge to drink, and it is my responsibility to get past that. Accept that cravings are uncomfortable, but they won't kill me (I didn't need to detox by the way).
I accepted that things would have to change. I accepted that I would have to change.
Acceptance kept me sober. My will; my emotions; and my knowledge are all unreliable - they are all too easily swayed by my AV (alcoholic voice).
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
The courage to change the things I can.
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Best wishes to you at the start of your sober journey.
I'm not sure that it was strength or willpower that got me to quit. I'd say it was sadness over the mess I was making of my life and my child's life. It was disgust at how awful I looked and felt. It was, as others have said, acceptance that I had a problem and sobriety was the only solution.
Day by day, I remind myself that if I just put one foot in front of the other and do*whatever it takes* to stay sober, I can do it. And I remind myself of how awful I felt after drinking and how much I don't want to go back to that.
It gets easier with time, though there are still difficult moments and difficult days. I'm only at 2 1/2 months, so I'm still working this all out. But I've accepted that this is my only choice if I want to have a happy and healthy life. And I really do want a happy and healthy life. Sounds like you do too, enough.
Delfin
Day by day, I remind myself that if I just put one foot in front of the other and do*whatever it takes* to stay sober, I can do it. And I remind myself of how awful I felt after drinking and how much I don't want to go back to that.
It gets easier with time, though there are still difficult moments and difficult days. I'm only at 2 1/2 months, so I'm still working this all out. But I've accepted that this is my only choice if I want to have a happy and healthy life. And I really do want a happy and healthy life. Sounds like you do too, enough.
Delfin
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3,293
For me, quitting drinking came in stages. I got to the point where the pain I was going through because of drinking was so great, and I got so tired of it that it created a determination in me to do something about it. That determination (willpower) helped me get through the withdrawals, etc. But that willpower only got me so far. Eventually, I knew I needed outside support if I was to remain sober, because willpower is based on bad memories and that eventually fades. I also had to be proactive and build a sober life because I needed a reason to remain sober besides not going back to the hell I was living in.
This has worked for me, but everybody finds their own path. Good Luck. John
This has worked for me, but everybody finds their own path. Good Luck. John
I just got tired of it - emotionally, mentally, physically exhausted to my bones of drinking and alcohol and the problems that came with it.
There's other benefits other than weight loss, saving money, feeling better physically, thinking more clearly, and so forth - but you don't see these benefits until you experience them. That's one of the kickers, you can't see how great it is to quit drinking until you make that step - but it is so worth it in the end.
Sober life is not boring - I have an anecdote about that - I was hired to host a local trivia night and was provided with alcohol - I was having a great time! No one else was. They never called me back.
There's other benefits other than weight loss, saving money, feeling better physically, thinking more clearly, and so forth - but you don't see these benefits until you experience them. That's one of the kickers, you can't see how great it is to quit drinking until you make that step - but it is so worth it in the end.
Sober life is not boring - I have an anecdote about that - I was hired to host a local trivia night and was provided with alcohol - I was having a great time! No one else was. They never called me back.
I just got tired of it - emotionally, mentally, physically exhausted to my bones of drinking and alcohol and the problems that came with it.
There's other benefits other than weight loss, saving money, feeling better physically, thinking more clearly, and so forth - but you don't see these benefits until you experience them. That's one of the kickers, you can't see how great it is to quit drinking until you make that step - but it is so worth it in the end........
There's other benefits other than weight loss, saving money, feeling better physically, thinking more clearly, and so forth - but you don't see these benefits until you experience them. That's one of the kickers, you can't see how great it is to quit drinking until you make that step - but it is so worth it in the end........
I had to stop, accept what I am and move forward from there.
By realizing that voice in my head that tells me:
I need to drink to feel OK
I deserve a drink
I'll stop Monday
I just need to pay better attention
I can control this
Next time will be different
is a liar. It is the voice of my addiction, and it lies to me to get what it wants. I can't turn it off, but I don't have to do what it says. It's just a voice, and it's words are poison.
I need to drink to feel OK
I deserve a drink
I'll stop Monday
I just need to pay better attention
I can control this
Next time will be different
is a liar. It is the voice of my addiction, and it lies to me to get what it wants. I can't turn it off, but I don't have to do what it says. It's just a voice, and it's words are poison.
The first time I quit for a long period of time, I just realized that I was sick, scared, and that nothing in my life was going to work out if I kept drinking. Plus I was physically wrecked. I was on unemployment at the time so I made sobriety my only goal for a full month.
I did relapse after eight months, not because I think I was doing it wrong, but because I guess I'm the type of person who had to learn first hand that a period of sobriety doesn't cure the disease. I had another two years of struggling hard. In the end I went to rehab because I knew I had gotten to the point where I no longer had the strength to look out for my own best interests. And I fell back on my family. Those two things saved me.
I did relapse after eight months, not because I think I was doing it wrong, but because I guess I'm the type of person who had to learn first hand that a period of sobriety doesn't cure the disease. I had another two years of struggling hard. In the end I went to rehab because I knew I had gotten to the point where I no longer had the strength to look out for my own best interests. And I fell back on my family. Those two things saved me.
I finally realized that I wouldn't get to finish out my life if I kept going the way I was going. I played it forward and saw my kids not having a father if I kept drinking. They would suffer because of my selfish choices. They should never have to suffer because of my choices... Never.
Relapse after relapse, until I finally accepted that drinking doesn't have a place in my life any more.
You've got to get your control back over this addiction. As long as it is controlling you, it will always win.
Relapse after relapse, until I finally accepted that drinking doesn't have a place in my life any more.
You've got to get your control back over this addiction. As long as it is controlling you, it will always win.
I had been feeling crappy for a long time, thinking I wanted to quit, talking about quitting to my doctor and to my shrink, wallowing in my own unhappiness.
Then my shrink said to me, "you know, you can't quit until you really want to quit." It sounds cliche or too simple but he was right.
I'm not out of the woods yet by a long shot. But somehow I got over that mental hump that I wanted to drink or would be in situations where it was almost necessary. Will power was no longer an issue because I really wanted to quit. Not sure if that makes sense.
Allen Carr's book helped reinforce my thinking along these lines. He says it's better to read it while you're still drinking; I had already stopped. But it helped me understand how I had arrived at the right mindset.
(BTW I understand that it's not like this for everyone, but it's how I got here.)
Then my shrink said to me, "you know, you can't quit until you really want to quit." It sounds cliche or too simple but he was right.
I'm not out of the woods yet by a long shot. But somehow I got over that mental hump that I wanted to drink or would be in situations where it was almost necessary. Will power was no longer an issue because I really wanted to quit. Not sure if that makes sense.
Allen Carr's book helped reinforce my thinking along these lines. He says it's better to read it while you're still drinking; I had already stopped. But it helped me understand how I had arrived at the right mindset.
(BTW I understand that it's not like this for everyone, but it's how I got here.)
For me I stopped trying to do it on my own, sheer willpower only got me soo far, in isolation my addiction would grind me down, and I would eventually go back to drinking!!
Leaning on others for support can get you through many a difficult day!!
Leaning on others for support can get you through many a difficult day!!
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