Kirky

Had an extremely long day at work yesterday (6 hours of overtime) and I was feeling kind of low about things with my boyfriend and ended up going to a bar where my girl works to talk to her about things.

MISTAKE.

Beer and 2 "shots" later, I get upset that I let myself drink. I got outta there pretty quickly. Came home and just cried myself to sleep.

Lately Ive been writing notes to myself on my phone when Im drunk so I can remember what happened the next morning (one of the things I hate about drinking is the blackouts )

This is what it said

"Amber...Stop Drinking. Please for the love of God. Stay on Recovery...
Love yourself and accept everything that happens cause life is **** but sometimes it can be ******* beautiful. Just have hope."

Ive set today as my official Sobriety Date. If even my drunk self is telling me to stop then I need to just remind myself of that everytime I have the urge. I dont like myself when I drink. Im not me. Im not the Amber that everyone knows and loves. I turn into a person that I would hate...I cant keep doing that to myself. I deserve better than that.

jryan19982

We all slip... get back up and try it again. You got this.

Carver

Hey Amber,

Slips are not good, but I think the horrible guilt that comes from a slip can propel you on to being more successful next time. You can do this

ast1

Kirky,

Keep moving forward. Sometimes the mountain has stumbling blocks. But once we get a good handle on our hold, we can move up without falling.

We're here to help. Take the SR hands and together we will climb.

Great job on Day 01!!!

Hevyn

I'm glad you wanted to talk it over, Amber. Most of us aren't completely successful right away. I stumbled a bit early on, but I learned something valuable about myself. I grew stronger & more determined. You can do it this time.

Kirky

When I wrote to "Stay on Recovery, I meant you guys at Soberrecovery.com
I can tell that you guys are gonna keep me right and keep me hopeful. I appreciate you so much right now you have no idea.

Anna

Amber, like you, I became a person that I hated. It's awful what this disease does to us. I'm glad you decided to stop drinking and to be the person you want to be.

Dharma33

Hi, Amber-

Drinking turned me into someone I would never want to be around either. Now- hey, I'm not so bad . Today can be the last day you feel poorly about yourself.

Good for you to decide today is the day to turn things around!

firstymer

Pick yourself up. Dust yourself off. Learn from your mistake. And get back to work.

You can DO this!

Dee74

Hi Amber

It's not easy to change our life and many of us faltered a time or two, me included.

If you need help, or feel vulnerable - please post- post before you drink - we'll get you through

D

RogerD

At least your back on track. I started trying to quit may 30th and have slipped quite a few times. Now I'm on day 18. I just keep trying. Don't give up.

wpainterw

Kirky: You can continue in recovery where you left off. Why not use this as a learning experience? E.g."Why did I slip? What can I do to prevent this happening again?" So a slip can be used to fortify long term recovery. Good luck and keep posting!

W.

Kirky

Thank you guys so much! I will keep this experience in mind when I feel another fall happening. I'll definitely keep posting

PurpleKnight

You can do this Amber, dust yourself off and go at things again!!

Soberwolf

Have you got a plan Kirky

Kallistia

I did notes in my phone as well - but I would read them the next morning and think "if anyone sees this I'll be committed!!" It really helps

All you can do is move forward, keep walking forward and leave what you cannot change behind you. If you fall, you don't have to stay down.

matilda123

Love your new epigraph, SW!

Sending you support and hugs, Kirky! I hope you will keep posting on the September thread if you feel inclined--we miss you over there!

Kirky

One day at a time, just come here if Im feeling like a craving is going to happen. Be stronger than I ever thought Id have to be.

I am truly over this addiction and having support is really pushing me this time. I feel like somethings changed in me. Like a phoenix, Ive died and returned through the ashes, more beautiful and clear headed then I ever have.