Wolfpack10

My addiction is very private and I have hidden it from everyone. I am completely done with alcohol but need advice if I really have to admit my past struggles with those around me? I feel like it can create more problems than it will help in my particular situation.

LBrain

It's nobody's business but yours.

If you choose to let a few very close friends or family in on 'your secret' for support, that is entirely up to you.
No sense broadcasting it for general purpose. What people don't know won't hurt them. What they discover may be harmful or may detract from you. Just be a better person and if people take notice great. And if being a good person was always there, no-one should even notice.

I wouldn't share it.

doggonecarl

How long sober?

Wolfpack10

2 days, but I honestly hit my bottom this time. My body can not tolerate the alcohol anymore and I am done with feeling like crap for days. I made a promise to myself and God that I was done and that is something I have never done before.

doggonecarl

Two days. Hmmm. How has keeping your alcohol problem private been working for you so far?

Maybe accountability is what you need. My addiction thrived on secrecy. Honesty was a big part of my recovery.

Anna

I told no one in my life that I was getting sober. My family saw the changes in me. I feel like my recovery has been and still is a very personal journey.

Carver

It's entirely up to you. If you think it'll cause problems then don't.

Me personally, I felt like I had to admit it out loud to somebody. I told a social worker I've been seeing (for unrelated issues). Only my gf really knows the extent of my drinking.

Do what is best for your recovery.

ScottFromWI

I told my wife, my immediate family and a couple of close friends. Of course I also shared my entire story anonymously here. What's really most importand is being honest with yourself that you accept your problem and do everything you can to help solve it.

On The Road

It's really no one else's business. But having said that, my wife knows (of course she does, she lived through the s***), my therapist knows - and for me , telling someone out loud that I'm an alcoholic was very liberating, and completely safe. And of course like others have said, I've told my story here. So I think it's important to strategically seek support without broadcasting it to everyone you know.

teatreeoil007

Your addiction is your addiction. Own it and recover from it for yourself. No one else needs to know.

ccam1973

Welcome Wolfpack. I think based on the responses you will find it's a personal choice to involve others or keep this fight private.

The only advise I would offer is before telling anyone, think through what you want to get out of telling them. I definitely wouldn't advise telling anyone at work or in a position to hold it against you.

On the other hand, I felt I had to tell my family and friends. I am not ashamed and firmly believe that if I hadn't told certain people, I would still be drinking today.

Be careful who you let into this battle with you, but it might really help you out by involving the right people.

Again, just my opinion. Go with your gut on involving others.

Wolfpack10

Thanks everyone!!! I don't have a huge social network and I am single so keeping it private has not been that hard. It would be mostly my family (dad and brother) that I would admit my problem to. I just don't see how that will help me personally. I just want to get better and move past all of this!!

Light76

Hmm I think it depends on what is most healing for you. It might be wise to take into consideration your families views on alcohol and understanding of the process of over doing it. You could always write them a note and not send it or wait to send it. Also explaining if it comes up that alcohol was making you sick or you're committing to health or cutting calories could work in a very low key way. It's important to have support though so whatever works for you!

Wolfpack10

I really like this idea!!!!!

kinzoku

My parents discovered my issue rather unexpectedly in one of the more dramatic incidents of my adult life. From there on the cat was out of the bag.

I don't really know if there is a right way. People my age, in my occupation, and where I live wouldn't give a crap or even believe me if I said I was an alcoholic. So I keep it to myself. I say I'm doing it for health reasons. And I am.

I think, as others have said, if secrecy helps shield you from the reprecussions of your drinking then its time to stop living in secrecy. If secrecy is, however, simply the absence of telling people what is absolutely none of their business...don't worry.

At two days I think all that is in your best interest is to NOT drink. One day at a time. And find support.

dcg

I'm 2 months in and I haven't told any family. They knew about my problem, though, and I'm not really keeping it away from them; it just hasn't come up.

If you feel it would help you keep clean or forthright, then tell them about your past and current situation. At this point, 2 days in, it probably doesn't make much difference since you don't interact with them daily.

teatreeoil007

Past struggles will not be put into the past until the addict resolves within theirself why they are an addict. Good that you are done with alcohol. The sad truth is alcohol is a demon that is done with you long before you are done with it. You will find TONS of support and honesty here.

Some people are very private and are able to work through their issues without involving others much. Other people need folks around them to share in their struggles and know about their struggles so they can better know how to help them. I don't know which kind of person you are, but I wish you the best.


God Bless.

Dazee

Yep, that's exactly what happened to me. As it turned out my sister was and is a source of support. I didn't expect that given our past.

Maybe your brother might be worth the risk?

teatreeoil007

I feel ya, wolfpack. In my early sobriety I had bad insomnia and felt like crap too. But, it gets better. Don't get discouraged and you've got to put yourself and your health and wholeness first, regardless of what anyone does or thinks or what you THINK they are doing or thinking.

The reality is that most people are FOR you rather than AGAINST you, and one nice thing is that>> because you have wisely kept it private, it's totally up to you to decide how you want to go about it.

You are making this choice because you WANT to, not because you have to and not because you are being FORCED to. In my mind, that is nothing but win-win and you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.

I believe in God too and I had to surrender all to Him. When I did that, my life started to turn around...for the better. I had to learn to forgive myself for foolish things I did and ways that I hurt people that I could never make right again. That has been perhaps the hardest part for me, but each of us is different. No two addicts alike.

God Bless.

Reset

I said it in another thread but last time I quit I told people and wish I hadn't. (Unless they asked, which was rare.)

This time I'm not saying anything unless I have to. Some people need others to help them stay accountable; I've always been better at being private with my goals.