Dee74

this is the support thread for everyone who wants to quit drugs, alcohol or any kind of addiction this month of OCTOBER 2015

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-4-a-6.html

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Stubbs16

Thanks Dee! I would love to be a part of the class of October. I've been here before, last year, and didn't make it. I'm ready to get support, and USE it, this time around. I would be honored to be a part of this class.

I've let alcohol steal many good years from me, and a lot of other things to. Enuff is enuff!

Stubbs16

I must admit I feel almost foolish being here again. But I really truly do want sobriety. Im feeling a bit ashamed for having failed so many times. Im determined to do things differently this time around. The past is the past, a new beginning is now. I also felt strange posting, putting my stuff out there, but I have nothing to hide, and I need to connect with others for support.

LBrain

Dee getting an early start...

Welcome everyone! Use this thread to form a bond with others who are new. Keep each other in check and build on your sobriety - as a team.

KeyofC

Welcome Maximus! You can "Look back but don't stare". Don't be ashamed. Let that go and today is a new day so move forward! Get a plan in place because I know the people who have been here the longest will ask you what you plan is. Get some coping techniques for when "life" hits you unexpectedly and the AV is trying to talk you into that drink..You may know to post a lot and read a lot because sometimes the Aha! moment can come from someones post or a post you did.
Welcome! Lots of super people on here!

Stubbs16

Excellent advice, thank you so much Keyofc.

Jsbodhi

I'm in sept class, dec 2015 class, going to join this class as well, I still feel on shakey ground.

Stubbs16

Awesome news jsbodhi. Good to see ya again. Remeber you from december as well. Im on shaky ground too. Hope some others come along soon. Im feeling quite sociable today.

KeyofC

Welcome Jsbodhi!

helpimalive

So yesterday I "joined" (ie posted on for the first time) the class of September 2015, but I'm going to join this class too, since it's just starting and I never really participated in the September class. To any moderators or anybody else reading this: Is that okay?

Today is day 11, and I'm not worried about today or tomorrow. This weekend, though, is going to be lonely and scary. My sisters will be gone on trips for the weekend, and I have no friends, so I'll be home alone with my mother, who is generally angry, unpredictable, and hurtful when I'm around her.

I'm considering spending all my time except for sleeping in Starbucks, using the wifi to be on SR and online doing some other stuff I need to do. That sounds like a decent plan for not getting scared and thus craving a drink.

And hello maximus. Don't be embarrassed to be trying again. Me, this is like the third or fourth "class" I've joined, the others (except Sept 2015) being classes you could say I flunked out of. So I'm a repeat relapser right here in full view of this forum XD

Jsbodhi, I feel like I recognize your username from last year. I was in the class of November 2014. Did you participate in that class too or am I imagining things?

KeyofC

I'm neither of those things, but I know it's ok and encouraged! The more threads youre involved in the better. No matter what the heading.

Stubbs16

Welcome, welcome, helpimalive. Nice to meet you. I think your plan for the weekend sounds good. And great job on day 11. Thanks for the kind words. I know Ive failed, but its a blessing to want sobriety. And it took me many years to reach that point. I really believe its going to happen, because Im going to make it. I really want my normal life back. I think our class is going to be great.

Layali

Hi everyone!!!

I too, have tried many times in the past to quit. I have had so many "plans" in place. I'm also struggling with GAD, SAD, complex PTSD, BPD Traits (not the full thing), ED's...omg enough acronyms?!?? There are probably more. I'm just trying to say, that it is tough because every day there are so many things I'm supposed to be keeping track of, practicing, remembering, doing, etc.

I've been in therapy for three years, and have like a whole team, really. And groups. Books to read. Community centres I'm supposed to go to (but haven't in a long time) gah.

I have spirituality to try and centre myself, at least one supportive friend. All these things, but basically.... I can't get away from this one thing - I just want to feel good. So, maybe I'm spoiled. Or, maybe my brain is always tired from dealing with all this sh** I have to deal with. Mostly internal. So.... alcohol is so easy!!! It's so hard to talk myself out of it sometimes.

Actually I just had a first session of EMDR on monday. I think it went ok. I cried. Then I went home and slept. I'm also doing CBT/DBT with the same therapist. Both of those things are her speciality so I'm lucky there.

Anyway I've quit last year, for 4 or almost 5 months. Then relapsed. Then quit for about 40 or 50 days or something, then relapsed. Now, I'm more in the "drinking two or three things in a day, if I can...." because I'm poor, and ambivalent, trying to quit again, thinking about it.... I've just slowly started drinking again and so each day I'm not sure if I can stay sober, or will try desperately to get my fix.

But when I do get my fix, it's not that much, because.... I'm poor. So, it's mostly stealing from roommates and hoping they won't notice (I am a terrible human being!!!) But today I have money. So. Trying to remind myself of what it is that I want.

ALso, roommates leave for most of October. I am divided on what I want to do....Halloweenaholic that I am, I am so pumped to go decoration crazy, have the house to myself, just be all Halloweened out. Maybe work on my writing. And therapy stuff. But other half of me goes....omg....I could drink so much. I will have money, and solitude. Two dangerous things... but yet, I know that if I drink I can't fully appreciate my most favourite time of year.

But if I don't drink, I will always have this horrible feeling....always a little down, feeling bad, kind of hollow, sad....always nagging at me. And most meds haven't worked for me. So I'm expermineting with herbs and things, and some have shown promise in some areas, but not in the general "feeling better" category. So I'm just having a problem with "so how do other people go through life feeling this bad? Or not feeling so good, like buzzed, on alcohol? How do they live life like that, never quite feeling that good? Or, maybe there's just something wrong with my brain, so that I always feel kinda low like that. But even when I say that, it's not that I always feel low....but.... I know what it's like to feel high, and that just feels... better....like, how could I live not ever feeling that again, knowing what it feels like? That is my one most important problem that I'm having right now, about that.

Anyway, so so so so so sorry for writing so much. I am surprised that all of this just came out. I really need a community like this!!! And I know that others do too!!! I will try to be helpful when I can. Again, hello everyone....

Layali

And hello to maximus, key, bodhi, helpimalive (is there something else I should call you?) and anyone I missed... nice to meet you!

Stubbs16

Welcome layali. Its great to have you. I use to love the way drinking made me feel. And now, after so many years, I absolutly hate the way it makes me feel. I use to think the same as you, how can I live my life never getting that high again ? Now, I'm thinking, how can I continue living like this?

It took me forever to reach this point. I don't know the turning point, but I do know for me, drinking is a dead end. And it wants me dead too. I would have laughed at that remark, a few years back, but its fact for me.

I think its great you are here, and wanting sobriety tho. Stick around. I use to associate special times with drinking, now I understand how much I truly missed out on in my life by thinking that way. It wasn't real, and it was all lies. I finally get all that now, and I'm very grateful for that.

Stubbs16

Thanks layali!

Dazee

Hi all, I was class of January 2012 was sober for almost 2 years, a slip here and there, then finally got sick of the roller coaster and got off in the sept class. I am struggling but hanging in there (sometimes it seems by my fingernails) but hanging on anyway. Welcome to SR, this place has been so helpful for me as a starting point!!!

AlaskaGirl

Hello everyone! I'm really excited to be joining the October group!

I'm on day 10, didn't join September as I didn't want to jump in near the end.

I'm a repeat offender as well, this is probably the 4th group I've joined since signing up for SR in 2010. Feeling a little sheepish. I have the best of intentions though. I think what's different this time is I have less of an ego about my ability to quit on my own. This is hard. I need to get support and give support if I'm going to succeed.

Here is the thread that describes my last bender, and the tipping point that drove me back to SR. My apologies, it's a little long.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...nd-bender.html

I'm looking forward to getting to know you all! Maybe we can form some long term friendships.

Layali

Hello, Dazee and Alaska!

It does feel like hanging on by fingernails....or a really really flimsy little thread, at some points....but as long as you're still hanging on!

I will go check out your thread, Alaska.

Stubbs16

Hey Dazee, and Alaskagirl, good to have you.