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Tired and Frustrated

Old 09-29-2015, 05:03 PM
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Unhappy Tired and Frustrated

I'm 36 days sober and will go to bed sober. I am not happy. I don't like my job. I don't like the city I live in. I feel STUCK here. I moved back May of last year after almost a year in mid-Florida. Why I moved back I still can't figure out. Everyone says not to make any major life changes the first year. I plan to stay in this place and at this job for 10 or 11 more months ONLY for this reason.

I can honestly say I do not want to stay sober today. I want to drink away the misery. Even if it were for only one night. I feel there is no relief without it. I've cried from stress today which is totally not me. I'm physically exhausted from such a stressful job. There isn't anywhere in this city that I have a desire to work at. I am flat out miserable.

To be honest, I don't know if it's because I'm still working through sobriety or if I'm just doomed to be at a place where I am totally unhappy. Right now I feel like my life totally sucks. I wish I could go to bed, but I can't because my dogs don't need to be stuck in their crates that long. They're my babies and I try to keep them happy & content.

Anyway, I really needed to vent. I can't say that I feel any better, but perhaps someone can understand where I'm coming from. For today I am staying sober even if I don't want to. My new philosophy is I will be happy tomorrow that I didn't drink today. That is the ONLY thing keeping me sober tonight.
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Old 09-29-2015, 05:11 PM
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Hi sinderos

I dunno about you but I drank for decades...it's gonna take a little time for your mind and body to heal properly...it won;t take years tho, I promise

I like the suggestion about not making any big changes too soon after getting sober, simply because I didn't know who sober me was for a while, much less what he wanted.

I started to get a clue about 90 days in.

Obviously sometimes we have to make changes...but if you can stick it out for a while, I'd do that. You may feel differently a month or two down the track.

This is not as good as it gets - it gets better - hang in there

D
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Old 09-29-2015, 05:15 PM
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Thank you Dee. I've seen first hand how people change after some time sober. I haven't lost all hope yet of being happy. That is part of what is keeping me sober today. I have no idea who I am as a single sober person. When I was married with a child at home I was sober. 10 months after my divorce and my son graduated I started drinking. That was almost 5 years ago. (Oct. will be 5 years ago that I started drinking. Not heavily at first, but didn't take long.)

I've never been alone and sober so this is completely new to me. I am trying, but it is so hard. Anyway, thank you for your reply. It was very much needed.
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Old 09-29-2015, 05:16 PM
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Dee is right and you may still be on the recovery roller-coaster of emotions.
I'm not sure that staying in a job you hate, in a city you hate, simply because everyone says you should is how it should be. Give it a little more time and see how you feel, but if it's really not working, then maybe making a move would be a good idea.
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Old 09-29-2015, 05:34 PM
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Hi Sinderos, Not sure how old you are but for most of us, our lives are a journey of ups and downs. Throw in a bout of substance abuse issues and it can be extreme ups and downs. I understand you are venting and you feel you are in an unsatisfactory situation in your life. Oh, how nice would being drunk be tonight to just forget about all the stress and unhappiness, right? Tomorrow all of those feelings will still be there and you will have added a headache and some guilt to the situation. You will thank yourself for not drinking tomorrow. With regards to you current life situation, it will be completely different before you know it. I'm glad you have some company in your dogs. They love you.
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