robin7117

I have been married for 28 years to my AH. The disease has been progressing, to the point where he finally agreed to detox. He went into the hospital and had a horrible time. He was unable to walk. He couldn't get a fork to his mouth. He was incontinent. He was not making any sense. After 5 days he was weak but through the worst of it. The rehab I had scheduled for him would not take him because they felt he was too weak for their program. He went into another rehab and has been there a week. It is a 28 day program. I feel he is doing well there. My adult son, 35, wanted to come here to Florida from NY. I suspect my son is using heroin or prescription pain killers. I think my son wanted to try to find a job here. My son leans on me far too much and frankly I can't take it anymore. I told my son that when my husband comes home, we will have to re-learn how to fill our time and it is not a good time for visitors. My son then posted this on FB, "Feeling trapped I've exhausted every idea I could come up with to get away from here so I could clean up and move on and I guess I'm trapped with no escape well got no one to blame but myself." So apparently I was his last hope. I really feel I have enough to deal with when my husband comes home from rehab, but I do not want to fail my son. Anyone else go through anything like this?

CodeJob

Hello Robin,

Your son is 35. You aren't clear when he landed back under your roof, but you gave him at least 3 weeks notice to depart. That is more than fair.

Don't read into FB postings. He's right, isn't he? Whatever mess he's dealing with is due to his choices.

Welcome to SR!

dandylion

robin.....trust me...letting your son come to live with you would be the very worst thing you could do to him. Not to mention that it would be very destructive for you, also.
Adult children do not get sober in their parent's house. They get worse. They get enabled...and, the parent-child relationship turn into a nightmare.

Please refrain from "mother's guilt" as much as you can.

The Salvation Army has very good drug and alcohol programs ---and they help people get back on their feet. They are located all over the country.
AA is free as well as NA.....and, there are shelters that he can go to. He is well grown and he needs to stand on his own feet. If you take him in....he will never do that.

I think you did the absolutely right thing...even if he is "pouting" about it.

dandylion