Letting go....28 Year old Substance/Alcoholic son

Old 09-26-2015, 06:53 PM
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Letting go....28 Year old Substance/Alcoholic son

Here I am....back on the same roller coaster ride - yet again. 28 Year old son (in reality - more like 16 years old emotionally) once again has relapsed. Not sure what he is doing now - possibly opiate pills/drinking. No proof but I know the routine and the cycle. He looks terrible. Broke up with the girlfriend for the third time which threw him into a spiral - self-medicating. Bouncing back and forth between home and his friends house. I am once again obsessing about his safety, health, friends, etc. pacing the floors with worry. (This has been going on since he is 16 years old....arrests, rehabs, jail time, out patient counseling...etc.) I made it clear to him today that he will no longer be staying with us as I am suspecting he is using again. He of course denies it. He is welcome to shower, have a meal....but will no longer rule my world with his addiction. It is too much for me to bear any more. We have tried everything to help him - have supported him - encouraged him....its just a vicious cycle that just never seems to end. He doesn't want to go for help - not interested at all. Just needed to vent....its been a long time since I have been on here. It's a comfort to know I have someone to talk to.
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Old 09-26-2015, 07:09 PM
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Puddin, I just want you to know how sorry I am and that my heart aches for you...and all of us in this same boat. I'm proud of you for standing your ground, you're doing the right thing.
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Old 09-27-2015, 10:24 AM
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Puddinface,

I'm sorry that you are facing this. The pain of addiction is horrendous and it can rule as well as ruin our lives so easily.

I'm in a similar situation. My AS left here almost a year ago because we refused to let him continue to drink and deceive us. He has refused to speak to us or even tell us where he is. I fear for his life and his sanity, but I have had to let go. It has broken my heart. I am also suffering some health problems which I believe are the result of the stress. But I will say the stress of him being gone is less than when he was here. That roller coaster never stopped.

What devastating and terrible pain we mothers experience that would bring us to the point of having to give up on our beloved children!
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Old 09-28-2015, 03:32 AM
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[QUOTE=BellaBlue;5575065] But I will say the stress of him being gone is less than when he was here. That roller coaster never stopped.
QUOTE]

I can relate and agree.

Hang in there, Puddinface52. Lots of support here, and hope you can find some peace.
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Old 09-29-2015, 10:48 AM
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Smile

Thanks everyone! I cannot tell you how many times coming to this website has given me the comfort that was needed at my moment of insanity. I know what the right thing to do is....but oh lord how tough it is to let go. The stress over this adult child is unbearable. Sometimes I feel so strong - and then the next day I find myself once again trying to have a rational conversation with him and it going in one ear and out the other. I believe he has some severe social and anxiety issues that are part of why he self medicates himself. He just doesn't want to seek the proper help. Thank you for listening....xoxo

p.s. someone sent me a lovely private message.....I wanted to respond but it says I must post at least 5 messages. As soon as I do I will write you.
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Old 09-29-2015, 11:30 AM
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Oh and btw....did I mention we even got him Suboxone to try and help him - and he figured out how to work that system too!
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