SysFixer

Hi! I am currently an active addict. I'm addicted to prescription drugs. I switched from oxy, my drug of choice, to duragesic patches. The plan was to lower the dose each month until I was off. my last drop ended up putting me into some pretty bad withdraw. Instead of riding it out, I convinced my doc to put me back on oxy... STUPID STUPID STUPID!!!so I'm going to se him on tuesday to see if he'll put me back on the patches, amd again, lowering the dose each month. If I get so sick I can't stand it then it's time for rehab. i also need someone to talk to. Either NA/AA or a shrink, or both. I have nobody for support. No friends. Who needs friends when I have my best friend... OXY to keep me company. Any thoughts? opinions? Just a HELLO? I've never been so scared or felt so alone in my life! :sink

Little Missy

Welcome to SR!! I think NA would definately be a good choice. Addiction is a scarey thing. It's nice to know we are not alone and that people do understand.

Best of luck,
Missy

Anna

Hi Sys,

Welcome and you are not alone. I'm a recovering alcoholic and I know how lonely it feels at the point in your life when you feel so lost you don't know what to do. We're here to offer support and understanding.

It sounds like you have a good plan to see your dr and lower your dosage until you are free from the drug. And, considering rehab is also a good idea. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it.

Hang in there and keep posting.

Love, Anna

wingsfree

Hi SysFixer, welcome to SR. I'm wishing you all the best on your decision on choice of recovery, you'll get lots of support here, and I'm so happy you're reaching out for help. There's lots to read here, lots of help information, so I hope you find what you're looking for, especially peace of mind.

Love....Denise

Chy

Hi Sys and welcome!
Glad to hear your going back to the doctor. You will find this to be a great means of support. Check out the NA and Substance abuse forums as well. Stick around okay?
*hugs*

Tracy

Hi Sysfixer.

I'm glad you are here. Addiction is a bitch and it loves isolation. You will find lots of friends and tons of support in either AA or NA. They are listed in the phone book. If you want someone even just to talk to for a few minutes, give them a call.

Is it possible that the patches didn't work well because it's not really morphine but an artificial form of opium? Also the dose fluctuates, sometimes wildly, while wearing the patch. Maybe cutting back gradually on the Oxy would work better? If not, I'm glad you are willing to try medical detox. They can keep you comfortable while helping you begin recovery and getting a support system in place for when you get out.

Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

Good luck and hugs,

Tracy

SysFixer

Thanks for the responses everyone!I'll keep reading and posting. We'll see how it goes with my doc. Although we've never discussed it, he knows I have a problem. I think maybe he fells somehow responsible which is why he was reluctant to say no when I asked him for the oxy. I think he'll be as relieved as me when I tell him the plan and under NO circumstances ( unless maybe if a wolf has gnawed off both of my feet while in his waiting room) can he EVER give me oxy again! I took lots of it this week and I know I'll be sick sick sick when I switch back to the patches. I'm not strong enough to taper off the oxy but I've never "cheated" with the patches. I can't believe this has happened to me. I used to have friends, I used to feel good when I woke up in the mornning. I want to be normal again. I've been on this roller coaster for about 5 years now. Time to get off!!!!!

Anna

That's it Sys. The addiction robs you of your life. My life became smaller and smaller as I drank more and more and I cared about little else. But, you can regain control of your life. You'll be able to get through this!

Love, Anna

SysFixer

So I came clean. Told him my problem and that I took all the oxy he had given me last week. He's going to let stay with the patches, lowering each month. He's also going to give me the mane of someone to talk to, I really need someone to talk to. I also told the guy I work with that I wouldn't be in today because I was going to the doctor to talk about my addiction. Actually I emailed him (coward). I thought I needed to be straight with him, he already kinda knows anway, I guess everybody does.

Dan

One thing I read when I first arrived here at SoberRecovery is that we're only as sick as the secrets we keep. I thought about that for a few days, and came to the conclusion that it's true. It takes up a lot of mental energy to hide our addiction. Energy that can be devoted to recovering and getting better.
Good for you for coming clean with these people.
A burden shared is much lighter to carry.
And hey, welcome!