To my brother..
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 2
To my brother..
Not a day goes past that I think of you and wonder how you are. We lost you to heroin. I feel in some ways that I am mourning your death but you are still walking this earth. We were partners as kids. Everyday, we had fun and understood each other like no one else. I miss that greatly and it's a deep scar on me.
I can't believe that you started out with so much talent, ambition and with a genuine heart- only now to be homeless, violent and addicted to drugs. A helicopter pilot at the age of 19.. You are now a person who physically and verbally assaults our parents for money. I don't know my own brother anymore. Are you gone forever?
I was screamed at by you and told that my intentions were to ruin you. Because you had it "together" and that i was jealous. It all really came down to money and if you were going to get it. I'll never forget the day my mom and I called the cops because you were threatening to hurt us with a knife. The officers told us that you had been on their radar for a long time. Everyone knows. All efforts in trying to help you have failed. It also kills me that our parents seem so much older now because they fought this fight for you for over five years.
They took you back into our home that we grew up in. It became a drug house when our parents were working. When they confronted you, you bullied them back into your control. For years they were too scared to let you go. Your addiction has always come first. Our family has been consumed by your problems. I'm glad that they finally stood up to your addiction and had you leave. It was so hard for them and you called them every nasty name when you walked out the door.
I know that I should give you up to the universe now. This is too heavy of a load to carry. I need to get on with my life. In my mind, I just want to hug you one last time and wish you the best. I love you so much. Please come back to us, little bro. I do not know this person who replaced you...
Sending love and healing energy to anyone out there who feels the pain of addiction. ♡
Kim
I can't believe that you started out with so much talent, ambition and with a genuine heart- only now to be homeless, violent and addicted to drugs. A helicopter pilot at the age of 19.. You are now a person who physically and verbally assaults our parents for money. I don't know my own brother anymore. Are you gone forever?
I was screamed at by you and told that my intentions were to ruin you. Because you had it "together" and that i was jealous. It all really came down to money and if you were going to get it. I'll never forget the day my mom and I called the cops because you were threatening to hurt us with a knife. The officers told us that you had been on their radar for a long time. Everyone knows. All efforts in trying to help you have failed. It also kills me that our parents seem so much older now because they fought this fight for you for over five years.
They took you back into our home that we grew up in. It became a drug house when our parents were working. When they confronted you, you bullied them back into your control. For years they were too scared to let you go. Your addiction has always come first. Our family has been consumed by your problems. I'm glad that they finally stood up to your addiction and had you leave. It was so hard for them and you called them every nasty name when you walked out the door.
I know that I should give you up to the universe now. This is too heavy of a load to carry. I need to get on with my life. In my mind, I just want to hug you one last time and wish you the best. I love you so much. Please come back to us, little bro. I do not know this person who replaced you...
Sending love and healing energy to anyone out there who feels the pain of addiction. ♡
Kim
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Kimmy, I lost my son the same way about 12 years ago now, he is lost in his addiction and we don't know where. I stopped searching when I realized that if I found him the cycle would just repeat and it almost killed me the last time I went through it. He knows how to find us if he gets clean.
Until then I say a prayer every morning and turn over the care of my son to God, and then live my day in faith that God can do for him what I cannot.
It rips our hearts out to lose our loved ones this way, addiction is truly a family disease.
Hold on to the happy memories of better days with your brother, those are the days that really count. My memories of my son are of the loving, caring sweet young man who helped everyone and who had a heart as big as Texas. I choose to park away the memories of torment, overdoses, crack houses and worse...and pray that one day the absolute awfulness of those times will be what brings my son back home once again a sober and loving man.
You have come to a safe place where we all understand your pain. Take a read around and make yourself comfortable knowing you don't have to go through this alone, we walk with you on this journey and hold your hand in the scary parts.
Hugs
Until then I say a prayer every morning and turn over the care of my son to God, and then live my day in faith that God can do for him what I cannot.
It rips our hearts out to lose our loved ones this way, addiction is truly a family disease.
Hold on to the happy memories of better days with your brother, those are the days that really count. My memories of my son are of the loving, caring sweet young man who helped everyone and who had a heart as big as Texas. I choose to park away the memories of torment, overdoses, crack houses and worse...and pray that one day the absolute awfulness of those times will be what brings my son back home once again a sober and loving man.
You have come to a safe place where we all understand your pain. Take a read around and make yourself comfortable knowing you don't have to go through this alone, we walk with you on this journey and hold your hand in the scary parts.
Hugs
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