Will y'all review my plan?
Professional zombie fighter
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 341
Will y'all review my plan?
A few days ago I posted under a different username, helpimalive2, asking for advice. (I used a different username because I couldn't access my original account, but a lovely person with the website restored my account to me.)
Anyway, the gist of my post was that I had given up trying to get sober on my own, and planned to wait until November when I'll have insurance to go to rehab and try it like that. I wasn't trying to make excuses for why I wasn't trying to be sober between now and then. I thought I was being realistic about the fact that I'm beaten.
But that's pretty much an excuse, as several wonderful people pointed out to me in that thread :p It certainly meant I could keep drinking.
Anyway, today is day 6, and I've decided I never have to drink again, if I put the effort in. I finally read that full SAMHSA guide to making a plan that is linked in the stick thread at the top of the Newcomer's forum, and I have a plan made. I'm hoping to hear back on whether it's a good plan.
It includes:
--Things I have to do every day. Among those things are read and post on here, journal to check in with how I'm doing, and a bunch of life-related stuff (floss my teeth) just to make it clear to myself that things are different now.
--Ways to deal with it if I find myself doing certain things I shouldn't be doing—like planning out how to obtain alcohol in my head, slipping on my daily requirements, or having a lot of cravings that I can ignore but that might be building up. If any of that happens, then I'll kick up my participation here, and I'll go to open local AA meetings for the environment.
--I'll be carrying around this super cool binder I made, which has all my plans, and print outs of cool stuff like the urge surfing guide, some key articles, some book summaries from recovery things I've read, some recovery stories, info on the terrible long-term effects of alcohol abuse, and materials I made myself like my “Reasons Never to Drink Again” and “My Tape” and “Don't Drink Because of Regret, Read This Instead, A Letter From Me to Me.”
--The binder also has a list of “triggers” (also known as reasons I drank, for me), and then a list of ways to mitigate it if I feel like something has pushed me closer to drinking. Still shaky on new ways to cope, but I'm working on it.
--Getting into Lifering. Emails, forums, and there are in-person meetings 90 minutes away if needed or wanted.
--Staying permanently away from some things that tend to trigger me: Letting chores go by so that I hate myself for it, sitting in my room alone for hours, not getting dressed in the morning if I don't have to, skipping appointments I've made. There's no reason to give myself a reason to drink.
--Exercise, healthy food, supplements, and plenty of water and attempted sleep.
--Hobbies. I need some. I must cultivate some. That's part of the plan too. I have some ideas.
Is that a good plan? Am I missing anything vital?
And one tiny question … can I still watch movies and TV shows sober? That's what I did drunk, watch movies and TV shows. How do I do that sober? Each time I've tried over the last six days, I've wanted a drink with it so bad, I turned it off and did something else. It just feels lonely and empty, to watch something by myself and without a drink. How do I make it feel not lonely and empty? I really want to watch “Hannibal,” man.
Anyway, the gist of my post was that I had given up trying to get sober on my own, and planned to wait until November when I'll have insurance to go to rehab and try it like that. I wasn't trying to make excuses for why I wasn't trying to be sober between now and then. I thought I was being realistic about the fact that I'm beaten.
But that's pretty much an excuse, as several wonderful people pointed out to me in that thread :p It certainly meant I could keep drinking.
Anyway, today is day 6, and I've decided I never have to drink again, if I put the effort in. I finally read that full SAMHSA guide to making a plan that is linked in the stick thread at the top of the Newcomer's forum, and I have a plan made. I'm hoping to hear back on whether it's a good plan.
It includes:
--Things I have to do every day. Among those things are read and post on here, journal to check in with how I'm doing, and a bunch of life-related stuff (floss my teeth) just to make it clear to myself that things are different now.
--Ways to deal with it if I find myself doing certain things I shouldn't be doing—like planning out how to obtain alcohol in my head, slipping on my daily requirements, or having a lot of cravings that I can ignore but that might be building up. If any of that happens, then I'll kick up my participation here, and I'll go to open local AA meetings for the environment.
--I'll be carrying around this super cool binder I made, which has all my plans, and print outs of cool stuff like the urge surfing guide, some key articles, some book summaries from recovery things I've read, some recovery stories, info on the terrible long-term effects of alcohol abuse, and materials I made myself like my “Reasons Never to Drink Again” and “My Tape” and “Don't Drink Because of Regret, Read This Instead, A Letter From Me to Me.”
--The binder also has a list of “triggers” (also known as reasons I drank, for me), and then a list of ways to mitigate it if I feel like something has pushed me closer to drinking. Still shaky on new ways to cope, but I'm working on it.
--Getting into Lifering. Emails, forums, and there are in-person meetings 90 minutes away if needed or wanted.
--Staying permanently away from some things that tend to trigger me: Letting chores go by so that I hate myself for it, sitting in my room alone for hours, not getting dressed in the morning if I don't have to, skipping appointments I've made. There's no reason to give myself a reason to drink.
--Exercise, healthy food, supplements, and plenty of water and attempted sleep.
--Hobbies. I need some. I must cultivate some. That's part of the plan too. I have some ideas.
Is that a good plan? Am I missing anything vital?
And one tiny question … can I still watch movies and TV shows sober? That's what I did drunk, watch movies and TV shows. How do I do that sober? Each time I've tried over the last six days, I've wanted a drink with it so bad, I turned it off and did something else. It just feels lonely and empty, to watch something by myself and without a drink. How do I make it feel not lonely and empty? I really want to watch “Hannibal,” man.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,384
I think thats the makings of a pretty good plan 
As far as TV goes - if it triggers you, you can live without it for a few weeks until you develop what I call 'sober muscles'.
Maybe use that TV time to do some of the other things you want to do?
D
As far as TV goes - if it triggers you, you can live without it for a few weeks until you develop what I call 'sober muscles'.
Maybe use that TV time to do some of the other things you want to do?
D
now's the time
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,181
Congratulations on your decision!!
Be sure that positives (exercise, hobbies, fun stuff!) are something you try to think about as deeply as the negative stuff (don't x, don't y). I went to rehab this time around and at one point they had us make an actual physical written list of things that we enjoyed doing rather than drinking. It seemed silly at the time but as I was writing I realized hey, there's a lot here. And I made myself really sit with it and think further on to things that I would like to do but haven't yet, things I used to do but don't anymore, etc.
As for TV etc! I don't know. I'm still early days too, about 2.5 months in, and I choose my activities very carefully based on my 'weakness' in any given moment. If I'm feeling unhappy, I make a point to distract myself only with things that I wouldn't or couldn't do while drinking (like crafting, or exercise, or exploring, or reading a complicated book) because I find that does double duty of both distracting me and making me feel good about my choice to be sober. If I'm in a good mood I'll be less vigilant about it. But even then I find that doing things that I used to do drunk (watching movies, reading stupid blogs, even taking a nap) gets me really quickly into a bad and anxious mood. I expect that'll probably fade away as I get over the trauma of what I did to myself.
Overall great and well thought out plan!! The only other thing I'd add is that since you got to a place where you felt rehab was necessary, use your sobriety to do your just-in-case research now. Talk to a couple places, find one that you like and will take your insurance, explain to them that you hopefully won't be needing them but want to have their contact just in case. That way if you end up needing it, help is just a phone call away.
Originally Posted by helpimalive 
--Exercise, healthy food, supplements, and plenty of water and attempted sleep.
--Hobbies. I need some. I must cultivate some. That's part of the plan too. I have some ideas.
Is that a good plan? Am I missing anything vital?
And one tiny question … can I still watch movies and TV shows sober? That's what I did drunk, watch movies and TV shows. How do I do that sober? Each time I've tried over the last six days, I've wanted a drink with it so bad, I turned it off and did something else. It just feels lonely and empty, to watch something by myself and without a drink. How do I make it feel not lonely and empty? I really want to watch “Hannibal,” man.
--Hobbies. I need some. I must cultivate some. That's part of the plan too. I have some ideas.
Is that a good plan? Am I missing anything vital?
And one tiny question … can I still watch movies and TV shows sober? That's what I did drunk, watch movies and TV shows. How do I do that sober? Each time I've tried over the last six days, I've wanted a drink with it so bad, I turned it off and did something else. It just feels lonely and empty, to watch something by myself and without a drink. How do I make it feel not lonely and empty? I really want to watch “Hannibal,” man.
As for TV etc! I don't know. I'm still early days too, about 2.5 months in, and I choose my activities very carefully based on my 'weakness' in any given moment. If I'm feeling unhappy, I make a point to distract myself only with things that I wouldn't or couldn't do while drinking (like crafting, or exercise, or exploring, or reading a complicated book) because I find that does double duty of both distracting me and making me feel good about my choice to be sober. If I'm in a good mood I'll be less vigilant about it. But even then I find that doing things that I used to do drunk (watching movies, reading stupid blogs, even taking a nap) gets me really quickly into a bad and anxious mood. I expect that'll probably fade away as I get over the trauma of what I did to myself.
Overall great and well thought out plan!! The only other thing I'd add is that since you got to a place where you felt rehab was necessary, use your sobriety to do your just-in-case research now. Talk to a couple places, find one that you like and will take your insurance, explain to them that you hopefully won't be needing them but want to have their contact just in case. That way if you end up needing it, help is just a phone call away.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 1,130
I bought something called the Relapse Prevention Book from Amazon which was helpful in me drawing up a detailed plan in terms of recovery. I've been adapting it and following it for some time. As I develop more sober muscles, as Dee put it, the plan changes. For example, nowadays I focus more on exercise and a weight loss and volunteering. But last year, the big focus was on recovering the trust of my boss at work.
One thing that remains constant though is reaching out for the help and support of other people here and in person at AA. I went out with my AA friends to see a band last night and we had loads of fun so that's certainly something I want to continue with.
One thing that remains constant though is reaching out for the help and support of other people here and in person at AA. I went out with my AA friends to see a band last night and we had loads of fun so that's certainly something I want to continue with.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Originally Posted by helpimalive
...If any of that happens, then I'll kick up my participation here, and I'll go to open local AA meetings for the environment....
I'm not why you have specified 'open' AA meetings though, so just to clarify, as an alcoholic you can attend any AA meeting. ('Open' means that people can bring along non-alcoholics. One man I know often brings his mum to these so that she doesn't feel pushed out and threatened by this new phase of his life. Another lady has brought her teenage daughter a couple of times. Some people aren't so keen on speaking out in Open meetings as they feel more self-conscious / anxious in front of non-alcoholics).
I find my plan is always evolving, and I'm constantly reviewing in in light of new challenges; personal experience; and advice that I hear and think will stand me in good stead. It's always worth thinking out a mini-plan for those times when slippery people and places are going to factor into our days.
Daily gratitude lists have helped a lot of us keep sight of the bigger picture when we're feeling we're 'missing out' on the booze and partying, so might be worth adding in. Besides, they're a pretty positive way to end the day
.Wishing you a wonderful journey of recovery. Stay in touch.
aka Nesty
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Northern Vt.
Posts: 1,554
Sounds like a wonderful plan & lots of tools I was the opposite music triggered me , so I would keep the TV instead . Maybe try music so there's something to listen to at least . The first thing I did after quitting was changing around my furniture . Nothing to feel familiar , not sit in the same place/seat I once did ...
I was the opposite music triggered me , so I would keep the TV instead . Maybe try music so there's something to listen to at least . The first thing I did after quitting was changing around my furniture . Nothing to feel familiar , not sit in the same place/seat I once did ...
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: US
Posts: 544
Bravo! It appears that you've put a lot of thought behind it. As others have said, as time goes on you'll find ways of updating/changing things, but you need a good base to start from, which you have! I wish you the best on your journey to sobriety. Keep posting with news of your progress.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Gulf Coast, USA
Posts: 2,229
Sounds like a good and well thought out plan. As you go forward, don't be afraid to make adjustments to the plan if you need. I will echo what others have said on the TV issue... if it is a trigger then I would avoid it for a while. We all have outlets that trigger drinking, mine was also music. After a year, I still find it to be a big trigger, but now I have built up my sober muscles; thanks Dee; enough to enjoy music and realize the urge for what it is... simply a bad and fleeting thought.
6 days is fantastic!!! Keep going, we are here whenever you need us.
6 days is fantastic!!! Keep going, we are here whenever you need us.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi.
When I started to sober up and was having difficulty with the obsession of drinking several old timers suggested drinking sweetened drinks because we might just be thirsty and perhaps need to replace the alcohol supplied by the alcohol. Another suggestion is to try to focus on not drinking thoughts as opposed to drinking thoughts.
For AA people: KEEP COMING AND REMEMBER WHEN.
BE WELL
When I started to sober up and was having difficulty with the obsession of drinking several old timers suggested drinking sweetened drinks because we might just be thirsty and perhaps need to replace the alcohol supplied by the alcohol. Another suggestion is to try to focus on not drinking thoughts as opposed to drinking thoughts.
For AA people: KEEP COMING AND REMEMBER WHEN.
BE WELL
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
For me keeping myself busy all the time was key and to a lesser degree still is.
I went to 6 AA meetings weekly for the first year. I built a sober social network, learned how to stay sober, got a sponsor and worked the steps
I went to 6 AA meetings weekly for the first year. I built a sober social network, learned how to stay sober, got a sponsor and worked the steps
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 172
Not sure this is appropriate here, but since my introduction to AA in 1983 at 15 years old I have attempted to avoid AA and utilize every other possible solution under the sun. I mean that literally and I have always had the financial means during my adult life to do so. We are talking everything from 30 days in Tibbet to alternative treatments in Thailand as well as mens groups, sweat lodges, intensive therapy, religion, Yoga, exercise, extreme sports such as racing cars professionally to big wave surfing which is the only stuff that turns down the volume in my daily life or head, but cannot spend 24/7 in a race car or surfing 30 foot face.
Point being, AA is the only thing I know of that actually treats the underlying condition of alcoholism that causes me to drink. AA works 100% of the time if one has truly been beat into submission and is willing to do the work which candidly ain't that hard.
My suggestion is the place way more emphasis on AA and not just use it as a tool when you get urges. Also, not sure why the open meeting designation. The only requirement for closed meetings is a desire to stop drinking.
An alcoholic will not stop drinking unless that alcoholic is willing to do what ever it takes to stop. Wife, no wife. Job, no job. . . .
The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous is the one thing I have found that nails the underlying condition of alcoholism to a T. It did not make any sense to me and I thought it was rather silly in parts for many years until I got beat into submission. Once I was beat into submission, I was like holly **** . . . The Big Book is dead on.
Point being, AA is the only thing I know of that actually treats the underlying condition of alcoholism that causes me to drink. AA works 100% of the time if one has truly been beat into submission and is willing to do the work which candidly ain't that hard.
My suggestion is the place way more emphasis on AA and not just use it as a tool when you get urges. Also, not sure why the open meeting designation. The only requirement for closed meetings is a desire to stop drinking.
An alcoholic will not stop drinking unless that alcoholic is willing to do what ever it takes to stop. Wife, no wife. Job, no job. . . .
The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous is the one thing I have found that nails the underlying condition of alcoholism to a T. It did not make any sense to me and I thought it was rather silly in parts for many years until I got beat into submission. Once I was beat into submission, I was like holly **** . . . The Big Book is dead on.
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Good plan. The keys for me were eating and drinking when I would normally crave; fresh fruit juice or something sweet.
Staying away from social events including alcohol for a while.
A bit of regular outdoors exercise.
Don't feel you have to hit too many goals at once as you might suffer from fatigue. The main thing is not to drink, so give yourself a break on the other stuff if it becomes too much.
Staying away from social events including alcohol for a while.
A bit of regular outdoors exercise.
Don't feel you have to hit too many goals at once as you might suffer from fatigue. The main thing is not to drink, so give yourself a break on the other stuff if it becomes too much.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: North Texas
Posts: 183
I was watching game of thrones and I wanted a drink soooo bad too... I just keep in my head , you know what .. Ill let the characters drink for me. I still love my movies, music , gaming etc.. all those triggered my drinking... I think its important to give them up for the first few days and weeks til you can battle that urge that pops in your head. Nice plan though.. Keep posting and reading here, ive gotten so many great ideas to stay sober... Keep your head up.
Dru -
Dru -
Professional zombie fighter
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 341
Thanks, guys! I do intend to let the plan evolve, of course. I mean, hopefully one day I won't have to put on a list of daily reminders, "Answer the phone when debt collectors call," for example. Haha.
Is this the book? Relapse Prevention, Second Edition: Maintenance Strategies in the Treatment of Addictive Behaviors: 9781593856410: Medicine & Health Science Books @ Amazon.com
That notion to put seriously thought into what you enjoy sober, and might enjoy sober in the future, I like that. I'm going to make that a thing I do routinely as things go on.
And yeah, you're right: I should still line up an inpatient, a psychiatrist, a therapist, and a GP for when I have insurance, in case I need it. Maybe knowing that's the future if I drink again will even help.
Originally Posted by endlesspatience
I bought something called the Relapse Prevention Book from Amazon which was helpful in me drawing up a detailed plan in terms of recovery. I've been adapting it and following it for some time.
Originally Posted by fantail
Congratulations on your decision!!
Be sure that positives (exercise, hobbies, fun stuff!) are something you try to think about as deeply as the negative stuff (don't x, don't y). I went to rehab this time around and at one point they had us make an actual physical written list of things that we enjoyed doing rather than drinking. It seemed silly at the time but as I was writing I realized hey, there's a lot here. And I made myself really sit with it and think further on to things that I would like to do but haven't yet, things I used to do but don't anymore, etc.
As for TV etc! I don't know. I'm still early days too, about 2.5 months in, and I choose my activities very carefully based on my 'weakness' in any given moment. If I'm feeling unhappy, I make a point to distract myself only with things that I wouldn't or couldn't do while drinking (like crafting, or exercise, or exploring, or reading a complicated book) because I find that does double duty of both distracting me and making me feel good about my choice to be sober. If I'm in a good mood I'll be less vigilant about it. But even then I find that doing things that I used to do drunk (watching movies, reading stupid blogs, even taking a nap) gets me really quickly into a bad and anxious mood. I expect that'll probably fade away as I get over the trauma of what I did to myself.
Overall great and well thought out plan!! The only other thing I'd add is that since you got to a place where you felt rehab was necessary, use your sobriety to do your just-in-case research now. Talk to a couple places, find one that you like and will take your insurance, explain to them that you hopefully won't be needing them but want to have their contact just in case. That way if you end up needing it, help is just a phone call away.
Be sure that positives (exercise, hobbies, fun stuff!) are something you try to think about as deeply as the negative stuff (don't x, don't y). I went to rehab this time around and at one point they had us make an actual physical written list of things that we enjoyed doing rather than drinking. It seemed silly at the time but as I was writing I realized hey, there's a lot here. And I made myself really sit with it and think further on to things that I would like to do but haven't yet, things I used to do but don't anymore, etc.
As for TV etc! I don't know. I'm still early days too, about 2.5 months in, and I choose my activities very carefully based on my 'weakness' in any given moment. If I'm feeling unhappy, I make a point to distract myself only with things that I wouldn't or couldn't do while drinking (like crafting, or exercise, or exploring, or reading a complicated book) because I find that does double duty of both distracting me and making me feel good about my choice to be sober. If I'm in a good mood I'll be less vigilant about it. But even then I find that doing things that I used to do drunk (watching movies, reading stupid blogs, even taking a nap) gets me really quickly into a bad and anxious mood. I expect that'll probably fade away as I get over the trauma of what I did to myself.
Overall great and well thought out plan!! The only other thing I'd add is that since you got to a place where you felt rehab was necessary, use your sobriety to do your just-in-case research now. Talk to a couple places, find one that you like and will take your insurance, explain to them that you hopefully won't be needing them but want to have their contact just in case. That way if you end up needing it, help is just a phone call away.
And yeah, you're right: I should still line up an inpatient, a psychiatrist, a therapist, and a GP for when I have insurance, in case I need it. Maybe knowing that's the future if I drink again will even help.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Colorado
Posts: 55
Question on Skin
Hello everyone. I wanted to ask a question of you regarding changes/improvements to skin after quitting drinking. I hope all of this does not sound vain. I am on day 40 of not drinking, and still have a lot or redness on my face as well as some acne. I have been diagnosed with rosacea in the past but that was when I was drinking.
My face is ok in the mornings, then about noon I get a huge flush - very red on face and neck. It is not a pretty sight. Just wondering if anyone has some feedback. Did your face/redness improve? How long did it take to improve? Did the texture of your skin improve? Has anyone with rosacea seen improvement after quitting? Thanks for your input.
My face is ok in the mornings, then about noon I get a huge flush - very red on face and neck. It is not a pretty sight. Just wondering if anyone has some feedback. Did your face/redness improve? How long did it take to improve? Did the texture of your skin improve? Has anyone with rosacea seen improvement after quitting? Thanks for your input.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Margate, UK
Posts: 549
It's a great plan!
Record Hannibal and catch up later. I was the same, drink and TV in the evenings. While I haven't given up TV totally, I tend to turn it off at about eight, which was the time I would allow myself that first drink (if I can hold off til eight, I must not be an alcoholic, right? Right?!)
You're doing great
Record Hannibal and catch up later. I was the same, drink and TV in the evenings. While I haven't given up TV totally, I tend to turn it off at about eight, which was the time I would allow myself that first drink (if I can hold off til eight, I must not be an alcoholic, right? Right?!)
You're doing great
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