Being kind to yourself
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,388
Being kind to yourself
What do you do when you want to treat yourself kindly? This might be a silly question, but I have discovered that in my case this slowly becomes.......shopping. And this might become an addiction on its own. I usually just love to browse, but I do not like the idea that I get the pleasure from the act of buying, as it is really filling some void. And Amazon does not help much.
So I am looking for other pleasurable activities, preferably free.
What really makes you happy and how do you treat yourself kindly?
So I am looking for other pleasurable activities, preferably free.
What really makes you happy and how do you treat yourself kindly?
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 845
Ah, healthyagain, I know what you mean about the dangers of amazon! Other ways I like to be nice to myself are taking baths, walking in nature, spending time with animals (I like to ride horses, and my cat is an excellent cuddler!) I also really enjoy cooking. And I guess this is spending money, but I love to buy myself flowers.
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,388
LOL, and I love to spoil my dog with treats and buy him toys from . . . yes you guessed it . . . Amazon! I buy him more than for myself. And yesterday he almost got a cowboy costume for Halloween (and I actually am not so much into dressing animals up), but luckily I was able to control myself.
But still he got a super cute bats bandana for a 1$. I want a good HW and my boy will be all ready. Don't know what would I do without him.
But still he got a super cute bats bandana for a 1$. I want a good HW and my boy will be all ready. Don't know what would I do without him.
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,699
Eek, I am a shopper too. I need to tone it down a notch.
Trying to take care of myself lately with exercise, healthy food, and plenty of sleep. I have treated myself to new motorcycle boots, sandals, and a dress recently, but i just put my credit cards in my gun safe, so I have to WORK to get them now. lol.
I need to focus on a more minimal life. Simple, easy, and drama free. I think taking care of myself will mean feeding those things the little pleasures in life. Peaceful walks, doing what I love, friends and family time, and ME time. I also want to take care of myself more by minimizing times with problem / dramatic friends, and maybe even changing jobs. Setting goals and working towards them is taking care of me
Trying to take care of myself lately with exercise, healthy food, and plenty of sleep. I have treated myself to new motorcycle boots, sandals, and a dress recently, but i just put my credit cards in my gun safe, so I have to WORK to get them now. lol.
I need to focus on a more minimal life. Simple, easy, and drama free. I think taking care of myself will mean feeding those things the little pleasures in life. Peaceful walks, doing what I love, friends and family time, and ME time. I also want to take care of myself more by minimizing times with problem / dramatic friends, and maybe even changing jobs. Setting goals and working towards them is taking care of me
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 845
LOL, it must have been so hard resisting that cowboy costume!!! If my cat would tolerate it, I would totally dress him up! But hey, simple pleasures are great, and the bat bandana sounds adorable. I think it's important to get in the spirit of the holidays. I was thinking about carving a pumpkin, but I'm not sure how the condo association would feel about me leaving it in the hallway. Hey, maybe I'll just put it in my window! It's so much fun to do stuff as an adult that connects me to being a kid. Such vivid memories of digging my hands into the pumpkin goop when I was cleaning it out before carving...
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,281
When I was on the way to physical therapy a couple days ago, I was stressed after a long day at work. Pulled over by the river and waded for a few minutes with my son. Breathed deeply, re-balanced. That was very much for myself, and a great connection to fun childhood moments. Sunshine, barefoot, fresh smell of grass and water.
Great question. I'm working too hard again today and need to do something for me! Getting organized for the next work day doesn't quite count.
Great question. I'm working too hard again today and need to do something for me! Getting organized for the next work day doesn't quite count.
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 333
Originally Posted by healthyagain 
What really makes you happy and how do you treat yourself kindly?
Waking up well rested before my alarm clock goes off.
Eating healthy foods.
Following an exercise/gym plan.
Walking through nature far away from the sounds of the city.
Giving generously to homeless people when I can afford it.
Watching funny videos on YouTube.
Going through my possessions and discarding materialistic/unnecessary things. Living minimally and simply.
Reading Alan Watts.
Reading Taoist literature (Tao Te Ching, for example).
Reading Game of Thrones.
Reading in general.
Playing video games.
I think that about sums up my "me time" activities.
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,388
I really like the first two items on your list, Thomas. Sleep is something I started neglecting, again. I needed money for the move and an attorney, so I accepted more work than I should have. I hope to change this in October when my life is hopefully going to stabilize (will be divorced). I apparently use "hope" a lot.
I just want to get one full weekend where I will not do anything related to my work. Just shut the computer down on Friday afternoon, and turn it on again Monday morning.
I just want to get one full weekend where I will not do anything related to my work. Just shut the computer down on Friday afternoon, and turn it on again Monday morning.
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 390
Originally Posted by Thomas45
Going to bed earlier than I have to.
Waking up well rested before my alarm clock goes off.
Eating healthy foods.
Following an exercise/gym plan.
Walking through nature far away from the sounds of the city.
Giving generously to homeless people when I can afford it.
Watching funny videos on YouTube.
Going through my possessions and discarding materialistic/unnecessary things. Living minimally and simply.
Reading Alan Watts.
Reading Taoist literature (Tao Te Ching, for example).
Reading Game of Thrones.
Reading in general.
Playing video games.
I think that about sums up my "me time" activities.
Waking up well rested before my alarm clock goes off.
Eating healthy foods.
Following an exercise/gym plan.
Walking through nature far away from the sounds of the city.
Giving generously to homeless people when I can afford it.
Watching funny videos on YouTube.
Going through my possessions and discarding materialistic/unnecessary things. Living minimally and simply.
Reading Alan Watts.
Reading Taoist literature (Tao Te Ching, for example).
Reading Game of Thrones.
Reading in general.
Playing video games.
I think that about sums up my "me time" activities.
I agree with all of these!
And many of the others above...
Altruism is a great way to deal with our pain, because when we are on pain we tend to see things in a really selfish kind of way. And by helping others, we allow ourselves to see the bigger picture and we realize how... lucky we actually are.
Animals/pets are also a great, great source of happiness
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,281
I hadn't read my Baton Rouge daily reading until now. It struck a chord with me, along with what you posted. Every time I work harder at getting ahead, I don't seem to. Every time I work harder at my recovery, I somehow get along and better yet, I've been finding happiness more often. I admit I'm still often not comfortable with the quiet in-between moments of my recovery. It's a journey, not a destination.
Quote/Sharing linked page - Baton Rouge Al-Anon
If reading this on Friday, click on yesterday's reading.
Quote/Sharing linked page - Baton Rouge Al-Anon
If reading this on Friday, click on yesterday's reading.
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,281
The suggestions Thomas posted are extremely helpful.
Taking care of vehicle repair & maintenance, as I'm able to.
Cleaned two kitchen cupboards tonight and giving gentle compassion for myself and the state of the rest of my house.
Reading Alanon literature now feels like kindness to myself. It's taken a while to get to this point.Courage to Change has 10 readings in the index for "taking care of ourselves". Good reminders of how to do kind things for me.
Reminding myself that I am enough.
Giving myself a foot massage with Shea Butter and essential oils. Lavender for relaxing.
Taking care of vehicle repair & maintenance, as I'm able to.
Cleaned two kitchen cupboards tonight and giving gentle compassion for myself and the state of the rest of my house.
Reading Alanon literature now feels like kindness to myself. It's taken a while to get to this point.Courage to Change has 10 readings in the index for "taking care of ourselves". Good reminders of how to do kind things for me.
Reminding myself that I am enough.
Giving myself a foot massage with Shea Butter and essential oils. Lavender for relaxing.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
Ditto to pretty much everything above, seriously. Everything.
I believe it's my mission to Perfect this part of Recovery.
I have turned my need for retail therapy into a lot of garage sale & Goodwill scouring, searching for real deals. I've found some great stuff!! Last week I found a Salvation Army store in our area that sells everything in bulk - so you pay per pound. !!!! What? You have to dig - things are organized only by type & dumped in bins. I walked out with 11 items, (one being a very good condition laptop bag for DD's chromebook) & my grand total was like $4.70. A skirt, a dress, 2 shorts, a pair of capri's & shirts. All great condition, all name brands like Old Navy/Gap/J Crew/whatnot. I had a BLAST searching.
And Dollar Tree shopping is awesome - I never hurt myself quite too badly & have fun searching for deals. I love when I'm working on a project & trying to shop with "new eyes" - like when we found the perfect contact paper that solves the problem of flooring in our dollhouse rehab.
I've been doing a lot of DIY facials & pedicures over the last few years. Dollar Tree is great for nail supplies - cheap. DD has fun with this too, it's a great weekend girl's project. She loves the lavender Epsom salts they sell & our acupuncturist said the magnesium is good for her growing pains. We do facials out of local honey, coconut oil, lemons, pineapple, etc. It's a great way to use the cores, etc. & my skin likes the natural stuff way better.
Exercise is something I prioritize now - I wasn't doing a great job with that. Now, I'm so used to it that I crave the activity if I happen to skip a couple of days in a row. It helps me want to stick to healthier foods too, somehow. Audiobooks while I walk have been a great way to kill 2 birds with 1 stone sometimes. Sometimes I do a walking meditation instead (usually early weekend mornings, especially Sunday - there's something about Sunday that literally FEELS different to me & always has.)
Meditation is a GO-TO for me now...... at home, away, morning, late nights... I have my favorites saved from youtube & my favorite - The Secret Garden on https://www.meditainment.com/ on my phone.
Mandala coloring - I think sparklekitty originally brought it up here at SR & I've been hooked since I colored my first one. You can download free pages or I buy them (& sometimes supplies like markers, pencils) at AC Moore with the 50% off coupons they send me via email.
I go to the beach with my BFF on a Saturday night every few months. We have a couple of drinks at the one club that sits right ON the beach, watch the band for a while & then sit on the beach for hours afterward, soaking in the full moon light & listening to the waves crash, breathing the salt air. BS'ing, laughing, & her groaning when yes, again, I do yoga on the beach while we talk.
I believe it's my mission to Perfect this part of Recovery.
I have turned my need for retail therapy into a lot of garage sale & Goodwill scouring, searching for real deals. I've found some great stuff!! Last week I found a Salvation Army store in our area that sells everything in bulk - so you pay per pound. !!!! What? You have to dig - things are organized only by type & dumped in bins. I walked out with 11 items, (one being a very good condition laptop bag for DD's chromebook) & my grand total was like $4.70. A skirt, a dress, 2 shorts, a pair of capri's & shirts. All great condition, all name brands like Old Navy/Gap/J Crew/whatnot. I had a BLAST searching.
And Dollar Tree shopping is awesome - I never hurt myself quite too badly & have fun searching for deals. I love when I'm working on a project & trying to shop with "new eyes" - like when we found the perfect contact paper that solves the problem of flooring in our dollhouse rehab.
I've been doing a lot of DIY facials & pedicures over the last few years. Dollar Tree is great for nail supplies - cheap. DD has fun with this too, it's a great weekend girl's project. She loves the lavender Epsom salts they sell & our acupuncturist said the magnesium is good for her growing pains. We do facials out of local honey, coconut oil, lemons, pineapple, etc. It's a great way to use the cores, etc. & my skin likes the natural stuff way better.
Exercise is something I prioritize now - I wasn't doing a great job with that. Now, I'm so used to it that I crave the activity if I happen to skip a couple of days in a row. It helps me want to stick to healthier foods too, somehow. Audiobooks while I walk have been a great way to kill 2 birds with 1 stone sometimes. Sometimes I do a walking meditation instead (usually early weekend mornings, especially Sunday - there's something about Sunday that literally FEELS different to me & always has.)
Meditation is a GO-TO for me now...... at home, away, morning, late nights... I have my favorites saved from youtube & my favorite - The Secret Garden on https://www.meditainment.com/ on my phone.
Mandala coloring - I think sparklekitty originally brought it up here at SR & I've been hooked since I colored my first one. You can download free pages or I buy them (& sometimes supplies like markers, pencils) at AC Moore with the 50% off coupons they send me via email.
I go to the beach with my BFF on a Saturday night every few months. We have a couple of drinks at the one club that sits right ON the beach, watch the band for a while & then sit on the beach for hours afterward, soaking in the full moon light & listening to the waves crash, breathing the salt air. BS'ing, laughing, & her groaning when yes, again, I do yoga on the beach while we talk.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
Forgot to add: I recently read a quote that said something like, "The cure to everything in life is salt water - tears, sweat or swimming in the ocean." It resonated! Having a good cry even when I'm not sad or depressed is so helpful sometimes! I just need to purge that build up of emotions so if it triggers from a story in the news or I just have an overwhelming day - I let it flow, ha. I ALWAYS feel better after flushing those emotional hormones/chemicals through tears.... much like the beach nights or hard, sweaty workouts.
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 5
This is small, but I try to remember to set up the coffee maker before I go to bed as a little gift to my future self. When I'm all groggy in the morning and just have to flip the switch, I feel happy and grateful (to my own self ), even if it's just for a split second.
), even if it's just for a split second.
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Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Somewhere in California
Posts: 1,136
Originally Posted by AuroraDigitalis
This is small, but I try to remember to set up the coffee maker before I go to bed as a little gift to my future self. When I'm all groggy in the morning and just have to flip the switch, I feel happy and grateful (to my own self ), even if it's just for a split second.
), even if it's just for a split second.Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: TX
Posts: 380
I have the opposite problem with shopping. I am a saver and as such have neglected my needs/wants for far too long. I am working on it. I have taken some of my savings and spent it on myself. I have taken two vacations in the past year and have another one planned. I have purchased some new clothes (desperately needed).
As for the beach/sea/salt water - funny little story.. When I asked by rAH to leave I was a basket case. I had been living on the edge by my finger nails. I was so strung out and stressed, living only to work and worry. This was wholly my fault. Work was after me to take some vacation time because I had so much left to take (and had the carry-over from the previous year). I got an email with last minute specials on cruises - the next week I was on a cruise ship, by myself, in the middle of the gulf of Mexico. Beautiful, wonderful blue sky's and blue seas. No way for anyone to contact me (Cell phones don't work). Blissful 5 days of no contact with anyone I didn't choose. Spent about 90% of the time on my little deck outside my room. Listening to music and books and just watching the water roll by. Took walks around the ship daily. Slept a lot, even took a nap or two during the day (which I never do).
It completely renewed my soul. Gave me a fresh, clear vision of what I wanted and needed in life.
As for the beach/sea/salt water - funny little story.. When I asked by rAH to leave I was a basket case. I had been living on the edge by my finger nails. I was so strung out and stressed, living only to work and worry. This was wholly my fault. Work was after me to take some vacation time because I had so much left to take (and had the carry-over from the previous year). I got an email with last minute specials on cruises - the next week I was on a cruise ship, by myself, in the middle of the gulf of Mexico. Beautiful, wonderful blue sky's and blue seas. No way for anyone to contact me (Cell phones don't work). Blissful 5 days of no contact with anyone I didn't choose. Spent about 90% of the time on my little deck outside my room. Listening to music and books and just watching the water roll by. Took walks around the ship daily. Slept a lot, even took a nap or two during the day (which I never do).
It completely renewed my soul. Gave me a fresh, clear vision of what I wanted and needed in life.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Did someone mention salt water? I believe my signature line, right down to the essence of my being. From stardust and salt water have I come.
Whenever I have something bothering me, the ocean and a walk cures it like nothing else. I haven't cried in a very long time.
Whenever I have something bothering me, the ocean and a walk cures it like nothing else. I haven't cried in a very long time.
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Join Date: May 2003
Location: Mich
Posts: 212
Shopper here! But I have worked to try and find other alternatives.
So I: get a massage
get a pedicure
go for a run
go to the gym
go upstairs in my bedroom and read
go upstairs in my bedroom and watch something on tv
call my friend and talk to her or meet her somewhere
So I: get a massage
get a pedicure
go for a run
go to the gym
go upstairs in my bedroom and read
go upstairs in my bedroom and watch something on tv
call my friend and talk to her or meet her somewhere
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