Fear sets in . . .
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 172
Fear sets in . . .
Wow, I have made huge leaps in progress over the past 10 days. 2 meetings a day and getting close to completing my fourth step. I am actually doing really well all things considered.
Some of you may have read my desperation thread on the morning I quit. Wife and child had walked out the door and I was truly at the bottom as far and desperation and frustration with my disease.
Today, the wife and child returns and my alcoholic mind is running wild. I have huge fear that things won't be the same, I won't act confident in the marriage and that I did damage that cannot be repaired. Yep, I am slap back in the results business once again.
Lol, the mind if an alcoholic us a terrible place to be.
Nevertheless, I should be proof positive of the drastic changes that can occur when one not only puts down the bottle, but when one makes a commitment to work the steps and treat the underlying alcoholism.
Some of you may have read my desperation thread on the morning I quit. Wife and child had walked out the door and I was truly at the bottom as far and desperation and frustration with my disease.
Today, the wife and child returns and my alcoholic mind is running wild. I have huge fear that things won't be the same, I won't act confident in the marriage and that I did damage that cannot be repaired. Yep, I am slap back in the results business once again.
Lol, the mind if an alcoholic us a terrible place to be.
Nevertheless, I should be proof positive of the drastic changes that can occur when one not only puts down the bottle, but when one makes a commitment to work the steps and treat the underlying alcoholism.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by Roxyblues 
Wow, I have made huge leaps in progress over the past 10 days. 2 meetings a day and getting close to completing my fourth step. I am actually doing really well all things considered.
Some of you may have read my desperation thread on the morning I quit. Wife and child had walked out the door and I was truly at the bottom as far and desperation and frustration with my disease.
Today, the wife and child returns and my alcoholic mind is running wild. I have huge fear that things won't be the same, I won't act confident in the marriage and that I did damage that cannot be repaired. Yep, I am slap back in the results business once again.
Lol, the mind if an alcoholic us a terrible place to be.
Nevertheless, I should be proof positive of the drastic changes that can occur when one not only puts down the bottle, but when one makes a commitment to work the steps and treat the underlying alcoholism.
Some of you may have read my desperation thread on the morning I quit. Wife and child had walked out the door and I was truly at the bottom as far and desperation and frustration with my disease.
Today, the wife and child returns and my alcoholic mind is running wild. I have huge fear that things won't be the same, I won't act confident in the marriage and that I did damage that cannot be repaired. Yep, I am slap back in the results business once again.
Lol, the mind if an alcoholic us a terrible place to be.
Nevertheless, I should be proof positive of the drastic changes that can occur when one not only puts down the bottle, but when one makes a commitment to work the steps and treat the underlying alcoholism.
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
You're doing fine Roxy, but please be careful not to repeat old patterns now your family is back, or slip into complacency and stop going to meetings.
If you need help from your wife in some way, be sure to ask.
If you need help from your wife in some way, be sure to ask.
Hillbilly Girl
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: In my Garden
Posts: 3,953
I do remember that post RB, and really glad to hear you are taking action to not just quit drinking, but to work the steps & have reached out for help with others. I have fought AA for a long time, but am now back with them & plan on taking a seat there & following the program too. Feels comforting to know I have help in this & do not have to do it alone. Be kind to yourself
Re-Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
Keep doing today what you did to stay sober yesterday and I'm sure all will work out fine.
We're here for you if you need some advice or just need to vent a little. One of the wonderful perks of participation on SR is the forums are open 24/7. Wishing you the best today...
We're here for you if you need some advice or just need to vent a little. One of the wonderful perks of participation on SR is the forums are open 24/7. Wishing you the best today...
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 132
Remember that the old you made her walk out to begin with. Don't fall back to that.
What if things are better?
What if you reach a new level of love and understanding for each other?
What if you become a better parent than you ever thought possible?
What if?
Congrats on 10 days, you're doing great! I agree that you should express these fears to your sponsor. Talk about it, whatever "it" is at the moment.
What if things are better?
What if you reach a new level of love and understanding for each other?
What if you become a better parent than you ever thought possible?
What if?
Congrats on 10 days, you're doing great! I agree that you should express these fears to your sponsor. Talk about it, whatever "it" is at the moment.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,494
It sounds like you're doing well.
Things are bound to feel a bit different for awhile, and that includes your relationships with your wife and child. Trust that they will see the changes in you and that you will focus on continuing your recovery path.
Things are bound to feel a bit different for awhile, and that includes your relationships with your wife and child. Trust that they will see the changes in you and that you will focus on continuing your recovery path.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Congrats on 10 days...
Physical addiction is over. Mental fight now and, for me 5 month and counting, for a while.
What I did to get into a non drinking rythem was copy my wife and son. My wife plays on her phone and watches tv....
My son plays does home work, baseball, video games, and tv.
So I, play on my tablet, play guitar, help w jr., work out...chores...
Boring, but better than killing myself w booze...
Welcome to sobriety....
Getting anniallated w booze is absolutely insane...right?
Physical addiction is over. Mental fight now and, for me 5 month and counting, for a while.
What I did to get into a non drinking rythem was copy my wife and son. My wife plays on her phone and watches tv....
My son plays does home work, baseball, video games, and tv.
So I, play on my tablet, play guitar, help w jr., work out...chores...
Boring, but better than killing myself w booze...
Welcome to sobriety....
Getting anniallated w booze is absolutely insane...right?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
you'll be OK.... things will surely feel 'different'. And you'll probably feel anxious and even scared...
be honest about those things. be clear and truthful and patient....
Are you well supported? Ten days is a great accomplishment and a wonderful start on a new and better life. To keep that going, be sure you're deepening your sobriety each day and supporting yourself with the right tools and connections and changes to keep honoring your choice of sobriety and growing more comfortably into this new life.
Before you know it, the fear and anxiety will drop away and a more comfortable newness will settle in.
And then before you know it, that comfortable newness will give way to a grateful joyousness..... and a whole new life will be born - for you and for your family.
You must do the work, and it will take time. But it is an absolute if you do......
be honest about those things. be clear and truthful and patient....
Are you well supported? Ten days is a great accomplishment and a wonderful start on a new and better life. To keep that going, be sure you're deepening your sobriety each day and supporting yourself with the right tools and connections and changes to keep honoring your choice of sobriety and growing more comfortably into this new life.
Before you know it, the fear and anxiety will drop away and a more comfortable newness will settle in.
And then before you know it, that comfortable newness will give way to a grateful joyousness..... and a whole new life will be born - for you and for your family.
You must do the work, and it will take time. But it is an absolute if you do......
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,870
I am very happy to hear that your wife and child are returning home.
Continued sobriety and recovery work will give goodness and healing the opportunity to grow and thrive, Roxy. Believe in the renewal that will take place.
Congratulations on 10 days.
Continued sobriety and recovery work will give goodness and healing the opportunity to grow and thrive, Roxy. Believe in the renewal that will take place.
Congratulations on 10 days.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Nothing like Step 4 and 5 to work on fears and resentments. Try not to lose your momentum. The step work can really help bring a new perspective that helps us in our relationships with others
Lean into the fear !
Lean into the fear !
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Northern Ireland
Posts: 290
Well done Roxy on 10 days is brilliant.
You've done the hard part and things should settle down. On saying that I felt out of my depth at times in the early weeks and still do though much less often these days. Whatever happens don't panic - we've all been through it and you'll find many people at AA and here in SR happy to help you through tough times.
You've done the hard part and things should settle down. On saying that I felt out of my depth at times in the early weeks and still do though much less often these days. Whatever happens don't panic - we've all been through it and you'll find many people at AA and here in SR happy to help you through tough times.
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