Zekers

I am a 53-year-old female. I have been drinking since I was 16 years old. Lately I'm up to 1 to 2 1/2 bottles of wine per night. I have tried to quit numerous times before even with AA but nothing seems to help. My husband quit drinking cold turkey on his own for years ago. I however just continue to hide it and I drink during the day when he was at work. I haven't had a drink since Saturday morning at 9 AM please support me. I truly have a wonderful life and a great horse who I love to ride. Many embarrassing things that happened to me when I drink. From drunk text & email. I was driving my car under the influence. Luckily I have never been caught but I know in time I will. I'm worried about my health as well. I really want to kick this demon this time. I've detox at home sample time with no complications except for depression and anxiety.

MIRecovery

Double post

MIRecovery

Welcome, lots of knowledge and support here.

I would not write AA off until you get a sponsor and work the steps

Zekers

I felt very depressed going to AA and it many times will stop and get a bottle of wine on the way home. I had two different sponsors and both relapsed and exited the program. AA just wasn't for me. My husband says if I make my mind up to do it I can do it because I'm very stubborn. My husband and I are very prominent in the community and I was embarrassed many times of the people I would run into. Somehow it leaked and got back to my Bible study which was very embarrassing for me.

Leshar

Hi, Zekers. Welcome to SR. You will find much support and fellowship here.
I drank like you, I'm a little bit older than you. Sometimes the depression and anxiety may seem worse on stopping drinking, this definitely happened to me, but hang in there! It will get better. Don't compare yourself to your husband for his quitting cold turkey. We are different drinkers, in my opinion. We need a better plan. I'm sorry about your AA experience, that must have been discouraging. You might revisit the program at a later time.
Good for you for stopping on Saturday! Keep posting and reading, it really helps.

thomas11

Zekers said: I haven't had a drink since Saturday morning at 9 AM please support me.

I support you zekers, how are you feeling physically? If you are experiencing severe withdrawal, a doctor's visit may not be a bad idea. You'll feel a lot better sober. You may have moments of weakness, but they can be fought through. Wish you the best.

ccam1973

Welcome Zekers. You've come to a great community with a ton of support. It helped me early on to read as many old threads here as well as staying active on the posting side. Joining in on the Monthly Class thread helped me tremendously also.

You're not alone and can do this.

Welcome aboard

Soberwolf

Welcome Zeekers

CaseyW

Welcome to SR, Zekers. I was also mainly a wine drinker at the end and was drinking similar amounts daily. I've been sober for 137 days now. I certainly wish that just being stubborn was enough for me to get sober, but it took me humbling myself and asking for help from others to finally get to where I'm at today. I got a lot of that help here on SR.

Hope you'll become a regular participant here. I also highly suggest joining and actively participating in the Class of September 2015 thread found on this same forum. It's a great way to learn from and help others who are new to sobriety.

Wishing you the best...

Venecia

Welcome to SR, Zekers. You'll find a wonderfully compassionate community here.

It's hard to stop and think about what drinking has done in our lives. The good news is that you don't have to feel that way again. Sobriety is reachable for all of us.

How 'bout joining the SR Class of September 2015? The kinship with others in the same place is really helpful. Just jump in!

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-3-a.html

One thing:

I'm sad to confess I drove drunk, too. The lucky ones were the others on the road at the same time, the ones I could have harmed. Please don't drink and drive -- your life, and that of others, is too valuable.

SoberLeigh

Welcome to SR, Zekers. We are here to support you.

Wine was my poison, too. The good news is that it is absolutely possible to leave it behind forever.

As Venecia suggested, joining the Class of September, 2015 could be very helpful.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Zekers!!

Zekers

I'm actually not feeling that bad just a little anxiety. I've detoxed several times before and gone as long as two weeks. I don't want to go through it again because it is so hard to do. Drinking lots of fresh orange juice throughout the day. I slepted a lot too. Went back to Pilates today & will go to BSF tonight. I've always loved the Lord but the bottle has stood in the way! I'm staying busy. I drove past all my liquor stops today! One lady saw me so much she asked me "do U really need this?"

Zekers

I feel good! About to complete day 4. Rode my horse all day at a Ranch with six wonderful friends. Anxiety & guilt getting better. I did have to tell my demon to go away once. He told me I was hot & tired... Some wine would be good. I told him to go away. Not sleeping that well at night for past 2 nights but I think its because I can think now when I'm in bed. I'm not tired so I'll be patient. I have so much time now & don't have to sit at home to get in my drinking time. Very grateful! Eating better too & hoping to lose 15 lbs!

Secretdrinker

Congrats on day 4, Zekers!
Yeah the not sleeping thing is a pain but I got over that relatively quickly. It was weird lying in bed and actually having to tell myself to go to sleep, because usually I'd just pass out. I lay listening to all the creaks and groans of the house for hours lol.

Wine was my thing too, similar amounts every night for years and years.

I tried losing weight by cutting out food, starving myself so I could still have my 2 bottles of wine a night. Seems so stupid looking back.

I've only been sober 10 days (first time in so many years!) but already lost close to 3kg just cutting out the drink and doing a bit of exercise every day. And I still get to eat all my favourite foods because I'm saving all those calories from the stupid wine!

Ill see you in the September thread

Pondlady

I was a wine drinker too. Lots of us have trouble sleeping in early sobriety, but it passes. I made a list of things to do with all my extra time, since I wasn't sitting around sipping wine. I took many walks, ran errands and cleaned the house.

esinger

Hi Zekers
I was about 50 when I quit after drinking since my early teens. It's tough to give up a habit that we've pursued all of our adult lives but it's doable. Come here for support, do some research and lots of reading, and acquire some tools to fend off your initial cravings. There's links on this site to several different methods. After a while you'll realize how much better life is clear headed. After a 30-something year drinking career I think I'm closing in on 3 years and no desire to drink. The depression and anxiety will fade with time.
You can do this. You just have to really want to.

SwimKim12

Hi Zekers, congratulations on quitting! I would recommend joining the September 2015 Class as well. My classmates have helped me tremendously during my recovery. Hang in there, and keep posting! You can do it

Cascabel

Good for you! Please look at the 24 hour club here, it will give you a little bit of accountability; I find that it helps.

I too had problems with AA. Some nice people but too many officious, all-knowing, lecturing individuals for my taste. I've mostly quit on my own but I credit Sober Recovery and Rational Recovery with helping me past a few rough spots. Best wishes to you and do keep us informed of your ups and downs.

Dee74

how's it going Zekers?

D