Kaily

I was on this forum in the New Year but only managed 3 days sober before my anxiety became unbearable, since then my drinking has increased very often drinking a standard size bottle of vodka a day-last night it was a litre bottle!
l want to be sober so much and can visualize enjoying life again but just don't know how .Drink is my companion and my emotional crutch.
Please Help

Dee74

Hi and welcome back Kaily

If your anxiety is that debilitating have you considered seeing a Dr about it? (maybe not the same one you saw before)

Speaking to your Dr and coming clean about your problem may provide a way forward?

here are some useful links & numbers - you may find some help and guidance here too:

The National Alcohol Helpline-UK - Tel: 0800 917 8282
Offers help to callers worried about their own drinking; support to the family and friends of people who are drinking; advice to callers on where to go for help.


https://www.alcoholconcern.org.uk/help-and-advice/

http://www.smartrecovery.org.uk/

http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/

http://lifering.org/international-websites/lifering-uk/

http://www.addaction.org.uk/

D

saoutchik

Hi Kaily

Going without alcohol is anxiety inducing but less so than carrying on drinking. It isn't easy obviously otherwise there would be no need for sites like this but no one ever died by not drinking and it is do-able.

Dee's advice to see your GP is a good one as there is some medical assistance out there plus counselling, support and advice. Just doing these things i found actually helps your resolve in the early days

Good luck Kaily and stick around, there is tons of help on this site

MythOfSisyphus

I'm glad you stopped back in Kaily. I'm sorry you're having troubles but there is hope to quit. You can have your life back.

Kaily

I find myself needing a drink to complement being sober...

Kaily

Whoops contemplate

Soberwolf

Hi Kailey

Dee74

no, you don't need a drink for anything...although you may have convinced yourself it's so.

Living life sober is a scary proposition when you're not there yet - but look around - there are so many people here living sober - we're just the same as you Kaily.

Sometimes the way to growth is by facing that fear and having faith that everything will be ok.

What have you go to lose, really?

D

IOAA2

Hi.
I found true emotional strength never really comes from a bottle or other drugs but from within. That starts with positive thinking, associating with sober alcoholics, participating in non drinking activities, staying away from all drinking situations then obviously NOT drinking one day at a time in a row and a lot more easy tips.

Nothing earth shattering but necessary for the beginning of sobriety. It helped me to constantly thing in the beginning to remember “ if I don’t drink I won’t have to TRY to get sober AGAIN.”

BE WELL

entropy1964

Hey kaily welcome.

I have GAD so I understand anxiety well. PTSD too but it's quite different than that daily anxiety. I drank to ease anxiety, then drinking only made it worse....much worse. The physical withdrawal from alcohol can make anxiety seem unbearable. But after a couple of days it gets so much better, trust me. A liter of vodka (and I have consumed that much in a night too while on a bender) is quite a lot....23 shots I think. I highly recommend a medical detox when coming off that level of booze. Please consult your dr because detox can be dangerous.

If I can do this so can you.

FreeOwl

That's about where I was when I finally got busy and got changing....

I also didn't know how..... so I did what others who'd done it told me;

I went to AA and I read the Big Book and I got a sponsor

I started making changes - I stopped going out to bars, I stopped going out to parties, I stopped hanging out with friends whose lives centered on and revolved around booze.

I hopped on SR every day

I went regularly to therapy - not having to do with alcohol or drugs, but simply focusing on my own emotional health, development and stress management.

I re-focused myself on healthy living... started running again....exercising more....

I started rekindling my creativity....

I made small victories and celebrated them (going out to dinner without drinking where others were.... NOT going to the liquor store, but drinking tea and going for a run instead).

I began my days with a focus on gratitude and on all the reasons I wanted to embrace sobriety. Began visualizing what I wanted my life to be like.

I kept going to AA. Kept reading the Big Book (at least three times through now, with lots of piecemeal reading as well).


You don't know how??? Well, none of us did.... so we followed the path we were told works.

You will find yourself fighting it... giving all manner of reasons you 'Cant'....

Those are all excuses...

YOU CAN DO IT.

(But it takes a choice and action)

BBQBOY

Kaily, Please see a Dr. BEFORE you stop drinking.... detoxing from alcohol can be deadly ...I"ve seen it before. The Dr. can give you medication so you can detox within a couple of days SAFELY. With the amount you have been consuming , it would be a very wise move. Best Wishes.

Alynn

glad you are back Kaily!!!

Nonsensical

The subtle persuasiveness of the addiction perfectly illustrated in two posts improperly exchanging want and need. How smoothly it insinuates into our thinking...

You need to be sober. You want to drink. Do not let your addiction convince you it is the reverse.

Best of Luck on Your Journey.

FeelingGreat

Kaily, I agree with others who have suggested you see your doctor and try to be really truthful about how much you're drinking (write it down if you can't say it), and also about the anxiety.
Do you have any time off work coming up so you can do a supervised detox, because stopping suddenly might be medically dangerous if you're up to 1L vodka?
You may think you're a hopeless case, but there is help out there that can make quitting less of a trauma. Of course come to SR for support.

Ruby2

Kaily welcome back to SR. The first time I tried quitting, before I learned about alcohol addiction, I had major anxiety and panic attacks. That was my withdrawal. Monstrous anxiety.

I detoxed in hospital the first time I quit. The last time I quit I consulted my doctor who gave me medication to help.

I'd highly advise seeing your doctor. If you have withdrawal anxiety and then drink to combat it, you're getting sucked into a vicious cycle. Break the cycle, see your doctor.

Kaily

Thanks so much to everyone. BBQ My GP refused to help me with medication as I live a lone and apparently it can be dangerous, like a bottle of vodka a day isn't

sva777

Hi Kaily, I was in a similar situation myself. I was on the merry-go-round of drinking to push away the anxiety and then having it come back even worse. It kept getting worse to the point I was unable to function normally. I don't know specifically how much I was drinking but I know there were days where a 1L bottle would magically empty itself.

I wound up in the hospital and honestly it was a real wake up call. I have been sober for 8+ months now and the anxiety is a shadow of its former self. I will say the first few months were rough but eventually I stopped feeling so beholden to the feeling that the booze would make me feel better. I know now that all the booze was doing was poisoning my body and mind and really creating all the problems I was using it to relieve.

Talk to you Dr. or go to the ER do what it takes to make the madness end, if you don't the merry go round just keeps going until you break.

Good luck and stay with this group.

hpdw

Hi Kaily ,
I suffer GAD and some panic and used alcohol to relieve this . I got horrendous withdrawals after my last drinking binge I actually thought I was finished . I got myself to my Dr who said I needed medication + vit B .
Please go to your Dr for help with this .

As for my anxiety Its getting better the longer I stay off the booze .

Keep looking in here .

sva777

Go the ER if need be, you need the help we speak of.