The Language of Letting Go, September 20
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The Language of Letting Go, September 20
SEPTEMBER 20
You are reading from the book "The Language of Letting Go."
Spontaneity
In recovery, we're learning to let ourselves go! We're learning to be spontaneous.
Spontaneity may frighten some of us. We may be afraid of the loss of control involved with spontaneity. We may still be operating under the codependent rules that prohibit spontaneity: be good, be right, be perfect, be strong, don't have fun, and always be in control.
We may associate spontaneity with acting out in an addictive, compulsive, self destructive, or irresponsible manner.
That's not what we're talking about in recovery. Positive spontaneity involves freely expressing who we are in a way that is fun, healthy, doesn't hurt us, and doesn't infringe on the right of others.
We learn to be spontaneous and free as we grow in self-awareness and self-esteem. Spontaneity emerges as our confidence and trust in ourselves increase, and we become more secure in our ability to maintain healthy boundaries.
Being spontaneous is connected to our ability to play and achieve intimacy. For all those desirable acts, we need to be able to let go of our need to control others and ourselves and fully and freely enter into the present moment.
Let go of your tight rein on yourself. So what if you make a mistake? So what if you're wrong? Relish your imperfections. Let yourself be a little needy, a little vulnerable. Take a risk!
We can be spontaneous without hurting ourselves or others. In fact, everyone will benefit by our spontaneity.
Today, I will throw out the rulebook and enjoy being who I am. I will have some fun with the gift of life, others, and myself.
©1990, Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved.
You are reading from the book "The Language of Letting Go."
Spontaneity
In recovery, we're learning to let ourselves go! We're learning to be spontaneous.
Spontaneity may frighten some of us. We may be afraid of the loss of control involved with spontaneity. We may still be operating under the codependent rules that prohibit spontaneity: be good, be right, be perfect, be strong, don't have fun, and always be in control.
We may associate spontaneity with acting out in an addictive, compulsive, self destructive, or irresponsible manner.
That's not what we're talking about in recovery. Positive spontaneity involves freely expressing who we are in a way that is fun, healthy, doesn't hurt us, and doesn't infringe on the right of others.
We learn to be spontaneous and free as we grow in self-awareness and self-esteem. Spontaneity emerges as our confidence and trust in ourselves increase, and we become more secure in our ability to maintain healthy boundaries.
Being spontaneous is connected to our ability to play and achieve intimacy. For all those desirable acts, we need to be able to let go of our need to control others and ourselves and fully and freely enter into the present moment.
Let go of your tight rein on yourself. So what if you make a mistake? So what if you're wrong? Relish your imperfections. Let yourself be a little needy, a little vulnerable. Take a risk!
We can be spontaneous without hurting ourselves or others. In fact, everyone will benefit by our spontaneity.
Today, I will throw out the rulebook and enjoy being who I am. I will have some fun with the gift of life, others, and myself.
©1990, Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved.
aka Nesty
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Northern Vt.
Posts: 1,554
Excellent honeypig another eye opener . I so look forward to your posts on *Letting Go* This line really hit home :
spontaneity: be good, be right, be perfect, be strong, don't have fun, and always be in control.
To me it's kind of Sad that we have to live our lives , with being on the look out for these curve balls . That's why I think so many fall , they get tired of fighting
spontaneity: be good, be right, be perfect, be strong, don't have fun, and always be in control.
To me it's kind of Sad that we have to live our lives , with being on the look out for these curve balls . That's why I think so many fall , they get tired of fighting
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Nest, that line struck home for me too. I have always tried to do exactly that, and never once thought there was anything wrong with that. That's the way you live life, that's the way you do things, right?
Just randomly having some fun? Unheard of. Get your work all done first, and then maybe...but you know, the work seems to never be all done, does it!
I read somewhere "If you don't have some fun today, God is not going to give you another day at the end of your life to have fun--so do it now!" I guess words to live by.
My sis and I are getting together this afternoon, so that will be a chance to practice some spontaneity and having fun!
Just randomly having some fun? Unheard of. Get your work all done first, and then maybe...but you know, the work seems to never be all done, does it!
I read somewhere "If you don't have some fun today, God is not going to give you another day at the end of your life to have fun--so do it now!" I guess words to live by.
My sis and I are getting together this afternoon, so that will be a chance to practice some spontaneity and having fun!
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Originally Posted by NestWasEmpty 
honeypig I sure hope you can ( let your hair down) have some "sober" fun , it's out there .. we just have to look for it 
The weather looks perfect and I'm looking forward to it.
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thank you honeypig.
today I will be at a birthday party for grandson, with many folks on both sides of family, plus friends. I always feel so frozen at events like this... will try to relax, and risk being me today. maybe someone will get to know me that way!
have a wonderful day!
today I will be at a birthday party for grandson, with many folks on both sides of family, plus friends. I always feel so frozen at events like this... will try to relax, and risk being me today. maybe someone will get to know me that way!
have a wonderful day!
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Just to update: Sis and I had a wonderful time today! We stopped first at a Joann store to buy a couple of mats for some pictures I need to frame (Goodwill is a great source of cheap frames). Then on to the bakery/cafe, where we had sandwiches for lunch. We each ate half of what we ordered and half of the other one's sandwich, so we got to try 2 different things.
Then we headed out for the lakefront and took a long walk. Sis and I both love dogs, and we met many dogs out w/their people, which was great fun. Having worked up an appetite again, we returned to the bakery/cafe for dessert and coffee. We sat outside for this part and enjoyed the pleasant day and more dog traffic.
We ended the day w/a hug and a promise to try to do this again soon--I really enjoyed the time w/her, and it really was nice having no set schedule or plans or expectations other than to spend time together doing something we both liked.
What a great day!
Then we headed out for the lakefront and took a long walk. Sis and I both love dogs, and we met many dogs out w/their people, which was great fun. Having worked up an appetite again, we returned to the bakery/cafe for dessert and coffee. We sat outside for this part and enjoyed the pleasant day and more dog traffic.
We ended the day w/a hug and a promise to try to do this again soon--I really enjoyed the time w/her, and it really was nice having no set schedule or plans or expectations other than to spend time together doing something we both liked.
What a great day!
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