Bookaboo2

Right now as I sit at work I can't say without a doubt that am happy right now but am not extremely saddened either. I was listening to a song called Ex Factor by Lauryn Hill and it made me think about my xabf and our relationship. The song made me tear up a lil thinking about the letting go of the relationship. We have been having some conservations, but very few less than 4 and they only last about 2-3 minutes. Jus saying hi then silence and then bye. The codependence is coming out in both of us. But bc I refuse to talk about any regarding issues within the relationship that's why they end so quickly. No rudeness not yelling just silence we both know it's over. He can't stop drinking and I can't deal with the unknown factor of being with a person who can't and won't be dependable bc of their demons. I don't have the ability to be sympathetic to the constant needs of a person with my exabf issues. What I mean by that is I find that the central theme of dealing with alcoholics is that they are extremely selfish have no insight into anything except how everything is in their sick state of mind is "negatively" effecting them. Am not perfect by any means. I have my own issues or "demons" but I don't allow my demons to take over my life and destroy my whole world I simply can't allow them to win. (I hve my own issues with addictions) I acknowledge that I hve the thoughts but I don't act upon them bc I don't like the way I feel after doing the negative behaviors or coping mechanisms. I have decided to start a 6 week fitness training program. It will help me stay focus and not back slide into my old habits or into my xabf. Starts in 3 days they offer classes in healthy eating habits plus a personal trainer I think it will be fun. Yall have a good day and thanks for reading this post

maybear

I love that song! But yes, it is sad to listen to isn't it.

You sound really insightful into your situation and completely on the right path. It's nice when we can recognise that we love someone and care but we don't have to be in a relationship with them, because those things alone do not mean a healthy relationship.

Good idea with the exercise, such a natural antidepressant for us all.

FeelingGreat

Many people experience addiction issues at some point in their lives. Your attitude is typical of those who deal with possible addiction in a healthy way.
Your ex hasn't got to the point where he has enough self-esteem to be sick of what addiction is doing to him.
I hope you enjoy your exercise and lifestyle program. I'm starting on Wednesday.

Lilro

You sound great G. Keep up the good work!! I've been thinking about hitting the gym also. Couldn't hurt, right??

Bookaboo2

It sure can't as we workout it helps with the sadness plus the positive is the weight loss