Zircon

Hi, this morning I took everyone's advice and spoke with my girlfriend about my AH problem and behavior. She said she didn't realize it was that bad. She did notice him change his mood rather quickly, but didn't see the alcohol. I told her it was downstairs in his tool box. She was surprised, that he was swigging the booze. I told her a few of my stories. She stated he's such a good man, caring, respectful and thoughtful. She envied my life.i hope I was right telling her. I feel like I've betrayed my AH. I just want him back and my life back. I have worked so hard and am tired. She really seems to understand and even questioned her own alcohol consumption. I told her that I wasn't judging anyone, but know there is a very fine line between alcohol use and abuse. Not sure how and when that line is crossed, but it is a devastating, lonely place to be. The AH appears happy and oblivious, and the one he has left behind is miserable. Can't forget the great memories, and wondering why I wasn't enough. Almost like a person dealing with a family member with dementia. The family member is happy, doesn't remember anything. The other person is grieving the loss of that person even though they can see and touch them. Hard to comprehend at times. My girlfriend is going stay away from the house tomm till I come home. That will be the best for her, but still not sure what I'll be walking into. Thanks for listening and supporting me . It really helps. I don't feel so alone.