healthyagain

After three weeks of waiting, I got in touch with the attorney's office to see what was going on. And the papers are ready for signing. AH and I will sign them today. Then they go to court.

I do not know. My heart is tied in a knot. I so did not want my marriage to end in a divorce. Just wanted to grow old happy with the person I love. But don't we all have same dreams?

I just hope 'll be strong enough and not start crying. Because I'm breaking right now. Maybe I was hoping that it will take longer and be complicated. But I should be happy, right? Too much pressure and I am so overwhelmed.

biminiblue

It's okay to cry. It's okay to feel the loss - it's a big deal. If you cry while you sign, I'm sure that's the way a lot of people get through it.

When I signed my divorce papers, I was really angry and sad. Right after that, I was relieved. Emotions are pretty much one-per-second during something like this. You will be okay.

If you can get some quiet time to center yourself it will help. Maybe sit in a church pew or under an old, wise tree.

SparkleKitty

I had the least complicated and friendliest divorce you could imagine, but the day I went to court was still tremendously hard. Please be easy on yourself and allow yourself to feel whatever feelings come up. It's perfectly natural and healthy to let it out.

gonzo51511

So sorry to hear about your divorce.. its devastating how badly this stupid disease had to destroy lives..so heartbreaking..but as i learn in AA.. crying is healthy...anger is not.. good luck

healthyagain

I guess only now I can truly see how I invested everything I had, love, friendship, time, finances, into this one man, and now that I am about to be free, I feel so empty. Because everything is revolving around him that I forgot how to live without him. Seriously I did.

theuncertainty

It's OK to cry. It's OK to wish it didn't have to be. It's OK to be happy. It's OK to be confused and hurt. It's OK to do and be all that at the same time.

Thinking of you. ((((hugs))))

honeypig

I'd like to second this. Our marriage was not violent, w/yelling and physical abuse, and the divorce wasn't that kind either. Nevertheless, it was (and still is) hard to realize that I really truly am at the end of all those hopes and dreams. We have invested a lot of time, a lot of effort, a lot of ourselves, into those hopes and dreams.

Yes, we have all heard here that it's time for us to make a new set of hopes and dreams, one w/ourselves at the center of it, but wise as that advice is, it can still feel like cold comfort. One of my favorite sayings ever is "time takes time", and this will take time.

It's just hard to end it. I send you hugs and strength, and hope for your healing to begin soon.*

*You know what I'm finding? Healing does not mean the absence of pain. That's kind of a "duh" statement, but I need to remind myself of it an awful lot...

Take good care.

healthyagain

Well, I am going to get ready now. I'll be better after all is finished.

Pia

When I started the divorce process (it is still pending) I felt the same way. I wasn't suppose to ever get a divorce. As time went on I realized I am fortunate to get a second chance in life to make my life the way I want it. How many people get a second chance. I know it hurts but in time you will start to feel better.

healthyagain

Just came back. We signed everything. Was waaaay easier than I could ever imagine. I think I can breathe better?

Well, I am going to have a good weekend. That is a promise.

Thank you guys. I love you all.

Refiner

It's understandable that you are grieving. Big HUGS. It is done and today is the first day of the rest of your life

Katchie

I signed my final decree - again. Changes were made we both agreed on. I've signed, he hasn't just yet, but promises to do so next week. He knows my ability to get the right funding for school relies on his signing. I believe he will and pay the final $1300, which I paid the initial $2500 down in the beginning. Yeah, I had mixed emotions about signing too. A little bittersweet because, like you, this isn't the way its suppose to be, but at the same time a little relief knowing that legally it won't be my problem anymore should he relapse again. Shoot, I'm not sure he hasn't already relapsed, but again, I'm making sure it isn't my problem because he's my husband ever again. The peace I've had since he left January 1 has been incredible. I don't think this means we won't cry and lament what should have been. This doesn't mean we aren't normal, it means we are thinking feeling humans. When he signs, I'll probably cry. When I go before the judge (he doesn't have to be there because he waived having his own representation), I'll probably cry and cry all the way home. NOT because I want to stay married to him, but its a "death" of things I suppose that have been for 23 years.
I think you are normal, perfectly normal. I might worry about you if you didn't feel the way you are currently. Hugs to you!