I'm just not sure
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: honolulu, HI
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I'm just not sure
My Boyfriend of 8 months has 2 years and 6 months of sobriety.
Here is a quote from loveaddictiontreatment.com: "But when addicts and alcoholics suddenly begin closing down and become reticent to share what they are thinking and feeling, or to talk about what is happening in their lives, this is most likely a sign that something is wrong. Unexplained absences, a failure to return phone calls, showing up late, and explanations for behavior that don’t ring true are a just a few indications that things have gone amiss." This quote fits our recent relationship perfectly. I'm SO worried because I love my boyfriend so much but my feelings of powerlessness are overwhelming. This quote has made me so nervous and unsure. My boyfriend goes through phases and this might just be one of those but I'm terrified that it's actually a sign of an underlying issue. When I talk to him about it, he gets defensive and says he just needs to be alone sometimes or talk to people at AA (this is a reasonable thing to say). But I'm consistently finding myself questioning our relationship and if he truly loves me or just doesn't want to lose me. How do I know if he is just working through personal issues or if he himself is unable to be in this relationship?
Here is a quote from loveaddictiontreatment.com: "But when addicts and alcoholics suddenly begin closing down and become reticent to share what they are thinking and feeling, or to talk about what is happening in their lives, this is most likely a sign that something is wrong. Unexplained absences, a failure to return phone calls, showing up late, and explanations for behavior that don’t ring true are a just a few indications that things have gone amiss." This quote fits our recent relationship perfectly. I'm SO worried because I love my boyfriend so much but my feelings of powerlessness are overwhelming. This quote has made me so nervous and unsure. My boyfriend goes through phases and this might just be one of those but I'm terrified that it's actually a sign of an underlying issue. When I talk to him about it, he gets defensive and says he just needs to be alone sometimes or talk to people at AA (this is a reasonable thing to say). But I'm consistently finding myself questioning our relationship and if he truly loves me or just doesn't want to lose me. How do I know if he is just working through personal issues or if he himself is unable to be in this relationship?
JP, whenever things don't add up, that's a red flag. Since there are a lot of complexities in relationships, I won't offer my opinion based on what you've written. It does sound like you've hit a rough patch and you're smart to consider what's going on and not just sweep it under the rug.
There is a lot of sections to SR where you might find relationship advice.
There is a lot of sections to SR where you might find relationship advice.
Hi JPG sorry you are being given a hard time, I know guys can be uncommunicative but this seems more than that.
Maybe you could speak to his friends unless you feel he might say you were going behind his back
There is a Friends and Family thread - maybe you could find some advice there
Maybe you could speak to his friends unless you feel he might say you were going behind his back
There is a Friends and Family thread - maybe you could find some advice there
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