Disappointment
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 669
Disappointment
I feel so silly for being disappointed / hurt over something that really shouldn't be a big deal. Every year I try to plan something for my birthday. Every year the plans get canceled. (Not by me) This time it's a legitimate reason by my friend that was going camping with me, but still. Am I not important enough for plans to work out one year for me??? I literally want to cry.
Even though I won't do it, I would love to numb the emotional pain with a bottle of vodka. If this was the first time it had happened it wouldn't be a big deal. It literally happens every single year. Not even the same people cancelling. My 30th was sent alone and not even coworkers taking me to lunch!! My 40th (last year) was blown off by the person I consider my best friend.
Like I said I know this is silly but it is so hurtful. Now I have to deal with emotional hurt and pain sober. That totally sucks today.
Even though I won't do it, I would love to numb the emotional pain with a bottle of vodka. If this was the first time it had happened it wouldn't be a big deal. It literally happens every single year. Not even the same people cancelling. My 30th was sent alone and not even coworkers taking me to lunch!! My 40th (last year) was blown off by the person I consider my best friend.
Like I said I know this is silly but it is so hurtful. Now I have to deal with emotional hurt and pain sober. That totally sucks today.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
it's not silly.... that sounds like a really lousy experience and it would lead anyone to feel bummed out.
it's definitely not worth getting drunk over, because that will only feel even worse.
I wonder, since you had the plans anyway - what about keeping the plans, for yourself. Bring a journal and a book and plan some long hikes and use the time you'd have been with a friend to be a friend to yourself and draw near to the spirit of the universe in nature?
Sometimes, things that seem to be a bummer at first glance can be turned into deeply powerful gifts.
it's definitely not worth getting drunk over, because that will only feel even worse.
I wonder, since you had the plans anyway - what about keeping the plans, for yourself. Bring a journal and a book and plan some long hikes and use the time you'd have been with a friend to be a friend to yourself and draw near to the spirit of the universe in nature?
Sometimes, things that seem to be a bummer at first glance can be turned into deeply powerful gifts.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: California, USA
Posts: 625
Not silly at all! Your feelings count. I am so sorry that you are hurting today.
Another way to look at it...You've had a big disappointment, and you are dealing with it without alcohol! Congratulations for your strength, and for your respect for yourself and your health! So proud of you!
Now, what are you going to do to celebrate?
Another way to look at it...You've had a big disappointment, and you are dealing with it without alcohol! Congratulations for your strength, and for your respect for yourself and your health! So proud of you!
Now, what are you going to do to celebrate?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 669
My birthday isn't for 4 weeks. At least she canceled early. I am a female and was going camping in a tent. I don't think it would be safe to go alone. I don't really have anyone else to ask that would want to go. I spent the last year's isolating myself and don't really have friends. So another one spent alone.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Gulf Coast, USA
Posts: 2,229
Sorry about the disappointment Sinderos. I like Ruby's suggestion. How about trying to reschedule with your friend. I know it wouldn't be on your actual birthday, but a rain check would give you something to look forward to.
Good job on staying sober through this news. You know alcohol will only make everything worse in the long run!
We are here for you.
Good job on staying sober through this news. You know alcohol will only make everything worse in the long run!
We are here for you.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,355
Originally Posted by Ruby2 
You are important enough and I'm sorry that you've had this disappointment. Birthdays are important.
How about rescheduling with this friend for another time that would work out for her?
How about rescheduling with this friend for another time that would work out for her?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Originally Posted by Sinderos
I feel so silly for being disappointed / hurt over something that really shouldn't be a big deal. Every year I try to plan something for my birthday. Every year the plans get canceled. (Not by me) This time it's a legitimate reason by my friend that was going camping with me, but still. Am I not important enough for plans to work out one year for me??? I literally want to cry.
Even though I won't do it, I would love to numb the emotional pain with a bottle of vodka. If this was the first time it had happened it wouldn't be a big deal. It literally happens every single year. Not even the same people cancelling. My 30th was sent alone and not even coworkers taking me to lunch!! My 40th (last year) was blown off by the person I consider my best friend.
Like I said I know this is silly but it is so hurtful. Now I have to deal with emotional hurt and pain sober. That totally sucks today.
Even though I won't do it, I would love to numb the emotional pain with a bottle of vodka. If this was the first time it had happened it wouldn't be a big deal. It literally happens every single year. Not even the same people cancelling. My 30th was sent alone and not even coworkers taking me to lunch!! My 40th (last year) was blown off by the person I consider my best friend.
Like I said I know this is silly but it is so hurtful. Now I have to deal with emotional hurt and pain sober. That totally sucks today.
Learning to cope with pain is hard for anyone, especially an alcoholic in early recovery. Be sure and do something nice for yourself. Buy yourself something cool or take yourself out to a nice dinner. It can still be a happy sober bday!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Originally Posted by Sinderos
My birthday isn't for 4 weeks. At least she canceled early. I am a female and was going camping in a tent. I don't think it would be safe to go alone. I don't really have anyone else to ask that would want to go. I spent the last year's isolating myself and don't really have friends. So another one spent alone.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 669
My friend said she will let me know about rescheduling. I love her to death, but know we won't be doing anything.
Thank you all for your kind words. Learning to cope sober isn't fun. Alcohol would make it worse though. I will just keep telling myself that.
Thank you all for your kind words. Learning to cope sober isn't fun. Alcohol would make it worse though. I will just keep telling myself that.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,505
Sinderos, I'm sorry that you are let down by your friend and that your birthday plans are messed up. Learning to cope sober really isn't fun at times. Sitting with the feelings can be so hard. Is there something special you could do for yourself to celebrate your birthday?
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
I spent many B days alone....Drinking. ..so sad.
At least you have us here. Just a few years ago...this forum was not possible.
So..we got that going for us.
In case I forget or something. Happy Birthday!
At least you have us here. Just a few years ago...this forum was not possible.
So..we got that going for us.
In case I forget or something. Happy Birthday!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
Hi Sinderos, it's not silly at all. I really place importance on my b-day too, for personal reasons. I think it's just a single day out of the year, not too much to ask for it to be special! I think you deserve a great birthday and I hope you can manage to do a little something special 
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