Did I do the right thing? I called for a wellness check
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Pa
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Did I do the right thing? I called for a wellness check
It's about my cousin. He is about 50 yrs old. Hasn't worked in I don't know how long. Lives in a trailer park, but is secluded.
I talked to him last Nov. He had suicidal tendencies then. Was a heroin addict for years, then was on the methodone program for 20 years. Quit cold turkey sometime last year, about Sept.
After I had talked to him last year, he reunited with his brother. They spoke weekly and his brother was helping him out with some bills. Allegedly can't work. His car was hit by a train several years ago, but he refuses to file for any benefits. He uses different names and social security numbers because of all of his DUI's and license suspension and fines.
So he is holed up in this single wide trailer, and lives like a hermit.
Now his brother got called to work on a ship, and can't even try to contact him. Has not been able to contact him for about 4 weeks before this job. I tried phoning my cousin, and the phone is now disconnected. I know, he didn't pay the bill, but it could be I guess because he wasn't able to.
I did call the sheriff's office there.
I also advised them that my cousin does not like police, (who would if you were a heroine addict with outstanding warrants, due to DUI's.
I told the police that he also may have guns there.
Now did I do the right thing? If he is having no problem except not having money to pay the phone bill, I guess he can be arrested for all of his outstanding warrants.............
I'm just very concerned because he is a hermit, but I think I could have really messed up his life.
amy
I talked to him last Nov. He had suicidal tendencies then. Was a heroin addict for years, then was on the methodone program for 20 years. Quit cold turkey sometime last year, about Sept.
After I had talked to him last year, he reunited with his brother. They spoke weekly and his brother was helping him out with some bills. Allegedly can't work. His car was hit by a train several years ago, but he refuses to file for any benefits. He uses different names and social security numbers because of all of his DUI's and license suspension and fines.
So he is holed up in this single wide trailer, and lives like a hermit.
Now his brother got called to work on a ship, and can't even try to contact him. Has not been able to contact him for about 4 weeks before this job. I tried phoning my cousin, and the phone is now disconnected. I know, he didn't pay the bill, but it could be I guess because he wasn't able to.
I did call the sheriff's office there.
I also advised them that my cousin does not like police, (who would if you were a heroine addict with outstanding warrants, due to DUI's.
I told the police that he also may have guns there.
Now did I do the right thing? If he is having no problem except not having money to pay the phone bill, I guess he can be arrested for all of his outstanding warrants.............
I'm just very concerned because he is a hermit, but I think I could have really messed up his life.
amy
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Weeellll... I think you might be jumping to conclusions. Phones aren't shut off the minute a bill isn't paid. If he were "unable" to pay the bill due to illness or injury, and it's been long enough that the phone was shut off, it would be too late to do anything anyway. Did his brother ask you to check on him?
What's done is done, guess you'll find out soon enough.
What's done is done, guess you'll find out soon enough.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Pa
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I'm waiting for a call back from them. I also know that he could be dead this entire time. Last contact his brother had with him was about 4 or 5 weeks ago, possibly longer. I might have jumped the gun on this one, but my cousin does make me worry a lot. I used to babysit this cousin.
I'm just sitting here waiting for a call back to make sure he is OK. I didn't like that my sister just dropped this in my lap, and said when she hears from his brother in the next week or so, she would let me know what to do. I went on, and based my decision on how he was talking about suicide when I had talked to him.
I guess, what I did is done. I did report that he has guns, I don't know if he has bullets, but he has guns. I also believe he is more suicidal then homicidal. When or if the police call me back, I'll let you know.
amy
I'm just sitting here waiting for a call back to make sure he is OK. I didn't like that my sister just dropped this in my lap, and said when she hears from his brother in the next week or so, she would let me know what to do. I went on, and based my decision on how he was talking about suicide when I had talked to him.
I guess, what I did is done. I did report that he has guns, I don't know if he has bullets, but he has guns. I also believe he is more suicidal then homicidal. When or if the police call me back, I'll let you know.
amy
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: NC
Posts: 1,737
You didn't mess his life up... he did that all by himself. You did what a normal human being would do out of concern. His past choices may have made that a little more involved than it otherwise might have been, but that's not your fault. The alternatives to this are one of two options: the police walking into a dangerous situation, or your cousin being in danger because you didn't want to "cause trouble."
Don't put another thought into this being a bad decision on your part.
Don't put another thought into this being a bad decision on your part.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,861
I don't think you did anything wrong, and you haven't ruined his life. As you say; what's done is done, but I don't know that I wouldn't have done the same thing in that situation.
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I got a call back from the police. The police only told him that a family member was concerned because they could not get in touch with him. It's what I asked them to do, and to not mention my name.
The trooper that I talked to told me that he seemed a bit "under the weather", he had a cold, but he did not see any drug stuff, or did he suspect that he was doing drugs. Said my cousin would not let him in the trailer for about 10 minutes. I asked him if he talked to him about options that he could have since he has no income. He said he did, and he talked to him about free phones. My cousin lied to him and told him that he was getting Social Security Disability. I know that's a lie. My cousin used multiple names and social security numbers, but I did not tell the police officer this.
My cousin isn't a hardened criminal.
Just heard from my sister. She told me that she texted his brother. His brother was happy that I did that, because he didn't know you could do that.
Everything turned out well.
amy
The trooper that I talked to told me that he seemed a bit "under the weather", he had a cold, but he did not see any drug stuff, or did he suspect that he was doing drugs. Said my cousin would not let him in the trailer for about 10 minutes. I asked him if he talked to him about options that he could have since he has no income. He said he did, and he talked to him about free phones. My cousin lied to him and told him that he was getting Social Security Disability. I know that's a lie. My cousin used multiple names and social security numbers, but I did not tell the police officer this.
My cousin isn't a hardened criminal.
Just heard from my sister. She told me that she texted his brother. His brother was happy that I did that, because he didn't know you could do that.
Everything turned out well.
amy
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