Madmartigan

Hi all,

It's been awhile since I've been here. In the meantime I relapsed and lost my job. I'm trying to stop drinking again and today is day 1. Not going so well. All I can think about is going and buying booze but I need to stop and pick myself up before I lose everything I love in life or worse.

Anna

I'm glad you're back and working on recovery.

Do you have a plan in mind for how to move forward?

Madmartigan

I need to stick with visiting this site and attending meetings. As usual I was sober for a couple months and thought I was ok. So I stopped visiting this site and stopped thinking I was an alcoholic. That obviously isn't true.

caadten

It seems pretty clear that drinking is only causing more trouble.

The first few days suck, but remember that feelings and cravings are volatile things, and they change. Put together a plan and stick to it. Find some accountability. The best decision you can make for today is to not drink (as long as you aren't in medical danger from quitting cold turkey). It sounds like you are ready to attend meetings again, so try to make that a priority.

You're not alone. Many of us have had the same experiences, and many of us have found sobriety through a variety of avenues. There is hope. It may not seem like it right now, but life is full of opportunities and avenues to fulfillment. Good luck.

entropy1964

Hi and welcome back.

Day 1 is so hard but if you don't drink, you don't have to feel this way again. Eat, rest, hydrate, post. You can do it.

ccam1973

Welcome back MadM. It sounds like you know what you need to do. If I get complacent I know it will lead to drinking again. The last time I relapsed, I was spending no time here and through I could handle it on my own. I was so wrong.

Stay close and tied into what works.

You can do this.

Soberwolf

Madmartigan have you revised or updated your sobriety plan

Have you got a plan bud

Madmartigan

Last time this site really helped me get started. I planned on becoming active on here again and not stopping.

startingover02

Sorry to hear you have relapsed. We've almost all been there and it's so disappointing.

An idea I had was to set this site as my home screen on Explorer and on Firefox to ensure that it's 'in my face' as soon as I log-on, be it in a weeks time or 3 months time, whenever. It's automatically reminding me why I have it right there. I realise that wouldn't work for everyone; people share computers with family etc but it's an idea for some.

I'm also going to download some sobriety apps on my phone so that when I'm out and about I can look at those if I have a craving. You could put a lock screen on the phone if you didn't want anyone to see the apps.

IOAA2

Hi.

Certainly welcome back is in order, hopefully it won’t be needed again.
I and many are retreads have hopefully have plugged the jug permanently. Unfortunately too many can’t make it for various reasons including their honesty about their and not accepting that drinking is not an action leading to a road of emotional healthy living.

After a certain point alcohol just takes everything we have that’s meaningful including our soul.
Alcoholism is progressive and only arrested by not drinking alcohol.
It’s challenging and requires work and changes, like it or not. However the benefits are substantial and dear.

BE WELL

Dee74

I'm sorry for your struggle but I'm glad you're back to try again madmartigan

D

Fly N Buy

If the meetings you mention are likely AA what helped me identify as an alcoholic was reading in the Big Book, specifically the Chapter More about Alcoholism.

The first paragraph grabbed my attention for sure =

Most of us have been unwilling to admit we
were real alcoholics. No person likes to think
he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows.
Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers
have been characterized by countless vain attempts
to prove we could drink like other people. The idea
that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his
drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal
drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing.
Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.

In the Doctors opinion Silkworth outlines 5 types of alcoholics. I really did not fit exactly into any........Hey, maybe they aren't talking about me?!

Then I read his words - "many other" (types).

The point being simply we are individuals and don't fall into pigeon holes of types. Frankly, when I identified as being an alcoholic it was somewhat of a relief - there is a solution to that!

Glad you're here - when I struggle I dig deeper into SR and the Big Book

Soberwolf

Here are some very useful links

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

https://store.samhsa.gov/shin/conten...SMA12-4474.pdf

BBQBOY

Hi Mad,
Are you having any withdrawal symptoms? When ever I tried in the past to stop drinking I get anxiety and shakiness. These conditions would keep me drinking so that I could feel better. It is always best to see your Dr. before you go cold turkey. Your Dr. can make it much more comfortable for you and that most likely will be enough to keep the bottle away! Just a thought....best wishes.

AnonSara

We are only defeated when we stop trying. What steps are you taking today, on your day 1? Take care of yourself.

Rar

Welcome back Martigan. I, too, became complacent and relapsed. Many of us here have had more than one Day 1. It's great that you've set a new Day 1. Keep coming back, reading and posting. I try to log on several times a day. It reinforces my desire to remain alcohol free. Come back often.

Madmartigan

I didn't go cold turkey I tapered over the course of about a week. Day 1 was rough but not as bad as when I went cold turkey last time without medical help. That was stupid of me and I'm vry lucky nothing happened. I feel a little better on day 2. Haven't vomited at all and I'm less shake and can keep from shaking if I sit still. Haven't slept at all and am still very weak. Took a shower this morning and by the end of it I felt like I ran a marathon. Been laying in bed drinking tons of water and reading tons of posts on SR. Definitely helps take my mind off of things while I'm dealing with this.

Dee74

Those links soberwolf posted are a darn good read, mad - especially the last one - hope you make some time for it

D

Fly N Buy

Wow, that is an amazing pamphlet! It will become part of my tool kit not only for myself but for others as I work with them.

It was the "darn good" emphasis that really got me! This was obviously written by folks with experience in recovery - people like us. A myriad of organizations that can help, different contacts for groups and a "how to" for getting ramped up for recovery.

I too give it the darn good read stamp of approval - well struck Wolfie and good push Dee!

Madmartigan

Day 3 just started and things are looking up. Was able to eat a whole meal this morning and I am feeling better each day. Also I have an interview for an operations manager spot on Tuesday! Thank you all for the support in these first couple days of recovery. I wouldn't have been able to do it without you.