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The AVs Lies

Old 09-15-2015, 02:21 PM
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The AVs Lies

I thought it might be kind of useful to compile a list of the lies that the AV will tell you as you fight for sobriety. Useful for me, anyway, and I thought it might help other newcomers.

Because the AV speaks in YOUR voice, and is so subtle and sneaky that a newcomer to sobriety won't realise that it IS the AV. I still have trouble catching him out.

So here's my little list. Please add to it from your own experiences if you wish. If this has been done before, apologies.

Just one won't hurt.

Well everyone else will be drinking.

Two months sober! Man, you mustn't be an alcoholic, cos that wasn't so bad.

Ooh that was a bad day.

Ooh what a lovely day!

It's not fair that I have to be sober.

S/he's having one. Why shouldn't I?

My partner can be a real d*ck sometimes. I'll get drunk. That'll show them.

Steak for dinner? Be nice with a glass of red.

I'm bored. Drinking is fun.

Steak for dinner? Be nice with a beer.

I'm lonely. Beer always helped with that.

Stressed? Alcohol calms you down.

Steak for dinner? Screw dinner, get drunk.

I can't enjoy a social event without alcohol.

I can't talk to people without alcohol.

They expect you to get drunk anyway, nobody would care.

I'm anxious. Alcohol will help.

I'm tired. Alcohol will help.

I'm happy. Alcohol will enhance this feeling.

I've earned a drink.

I WANT a drink.

I'm depressed. Alcohol will help.

The kids are playing up. I need a drink to unwind.

Meeting that old drinking buddy. I'll be EXPECTED to drink. Be rude not to.

The cat looked at me funny. I need a drink.

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Old 09-15-2015, 02:33 PM
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That is a really good post, Carver. Learning how to recognize our alcoholic thoughts for what they are is very useful.

The next step for me was to develop the ability to separate those thoughts from my deep self, and the essential element of that was to make that commitment to never drink again. That statement, 'I will never drink again no matter what happens' makes those thoughts visible for what they are. Once this commitment is made, these thoughts are just the reactions of our lower brain functions to being deprived of a substance we have conditioned ourselves to believe is essential to our survival.

Until that commitment is made, these thoughts are possibilities, maybe slim ones, that a return to drinking is at least possible. The addiction seizes on that, and begins to wear you down, with further conditions and bargains all leading to that next drink. There is no thought of the consequences because they are irrelevant. There is no survival instinct present in the AV, simply that desire for the next drink.

This is how it worked out for me, Carver, and it is how I chose to quit drinking once and quit drinking permanently. If you have made this commitment too, I simply offer to you my warmest congratulations.

Well done. Onward!
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Old 09-15-2015, 02:46 PM
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Exactly right Freshstart. I have indeed committed to a life without alcohol. It's early days for me, (day 74) so the struggle is quite fresh in my mind. If this list helps just one person recognise these thoughts for what they are, I'll be happy
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Old 09-15-2015, 03:41 PM
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I don't care was a biggie for me.

D
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Old 09-15-2015, 03:47 PM
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Very true, useful, and funny.

One of our cats is old, neurotic, and is always looking at me funny. So the last one was particularly useful :-)
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Old 09-15-2015, 03:59 PM
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I loved this!

Some of mine are;

F*** it, I'll just have this one tonight and it's still WAY better than it used to be.
I'll have only drank 1 day out of 4 which is great! If I can just keep doing that, 1 every 4 days, I'll be fine. So I'll drink tonight, but not again until Friday.

Or, 'if I just drink every other day it's cutting my intake down my half! So I'll drink this now, and then absolutely none tomorrow.'
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Old 09-15-2015, 04:02 PM
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The AV is really the voice of the ego, just one way that it is always causing problems for most of us. Comparing, rationalizing, criticizing, judging, complaining, etc. Tolle and De Mello both explain it well.

Fresh start, your comments are spot on. I also found, as in many other endeavors, commitment is the key. I told myself I was done, and I meant it. Every time a thought of drinking would emerge, I ruthlessly shot it down. Immediately. Once you entertain the thought, you have legitimized it.
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