New-But Free At Last
New-But Free At Last
How I became addicted to opiates, my drug of choice is a long story and it was a progressive thing. I didn't have problems with addiction for most of my life. It came at a time in my life that I didn't expect and I am not the typical stereotype of an addict or what was my concept of an addict. I found out the hard way that addiction can happen to anyone-it doesn't play favorites. But because of the stigma and the stereotypes, I was in denial for a long time.
But then, once I stopped being in denial and was honest with myself, it was still hard to STOP. I grew to enjoy the euphoria of being on opiates. But my new reality became one of bondage-no real liberty. Always worried about running out of the drug and experiencing withdrawl. My usage was not overly heavy, but it WAS heavy enough to cause withdrawl.
It's taken me years now of slowly tapering; of quitting and starting. But, I've been clean now for the longest stretch ever. I had a professional addiction intake assessment done and they sort of acted like: Why are you here, as if my problem was not severe enough to seek professional help. Then, they said, "Well, it's good to be proactive." But I knew within myself what bondage I had been living in and ways I would seek out to get a hold of the substance.
I remember the first time I used Oxycontin not for pain to try to feel better. It easily became a drug of choice for me, it made me "up", lots of energy and of course euphoria. It had been prescribed to for back pain...but I started using a little bit to start with as a "pick-me-up" and a way to escape some of the stress, pressure and discontented feelings I was having with my life. As well as underlying depression.
I don't know tapering is the best way to go...but that is what I did and it took a very long time....even with tapering I experienced some withdrawl symptoms. Sweating, anxiety, insomnia, irritability, restless legs, diarhhria, and of course cravings.
I've needed to get at the root cause of the problem and work through the issues. Counseling has been helpful. Group therapy too. I am on antidepressants too, which has helped the depression. I've struggled with insomnia for years and that contributes to depression.
Like, I said, I didn't think this would ever happen to me. I'm mature, smart, educated, successful and have a good home life. But I was vulnerable.
But then, once I stopped being in denial and was honest with myself, it was still hard to STOP. I grew to enjoy the euphoria of being on opiates. But my new reality became one of bondage-no real liberty. Always worried about running out of the drug and experiencing withdrawl. My usage was not overly heavy, but it WAS heavy enough to cause withdrawl.
It's taken me years now of slowly tapering; of quitting and starting. But, I've been clean now for the longest stretch ever. I had a professional addiction intake assessment done and they sort of acted like: Why are you here, as if my problem was not severe enough to seek professional help. Then, they said, "Well, it's good to be proactive." But I knew within myself what bondage I had been living in and ways I would seek out to get a hold of the substance.
I remember the first time I used Oxycontin not for pain to try to feel better. It easily became a drug of choice for me, it made me "up", lots of energy and of course euphoria. It had been prescribed to for back pain...but I started using a little bit to start with as a "pick-me-up" and a way to escape some of the stress, pressure and discontented feelings I was having with my life. As well as underlying depression.
I don't know tapering is the best way to go...but that is what I did and it took a very long time....even with tapering I experienced some withdrawl symptoms. Sweating, anxiety, insomnia, irritability, restless legs, diarhhria, and of course cravings.
I've needed to get at the root cause of the problem and work through the issues. Counseling has been helpful. Group therapy too. I am on antidepressants too, which has helped the depression. I've struggled with insomnia for years and that contributes to depression.
Like, I said, I didn't think this would ever happen to me. I'm mature, smart, educated, successful and have a good home life. But I was vulnerable.
Have no experience of opiates teatree but congratulations on getting clean and on taking on the causes of your depression
I believe there is also a thread for opiates/ substance abuse if which might be worth a look at
I hope you continue with your success
I believe there is also a thread for opiates/ substance abuse if which might be worth a look at
I hope you continue with your success
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