Yogagurl

Hi all,

My ex AH has gotten my current boyfriends number and sent him a photo of me (semi-nude) via text. It looked like a picture of a picture, super creepy and super out of the blue!!!
This happened on yesterday. I have been no contact and have a restraining order on him since the beginning of 2015, successfully been left alone until yesterday.

I need to prove the phone number and I want to take some kind of legal action. Can anyone provide a similar experience or advice. I have revoked any energy I used to give to his insanity and feel that I should just let this slide, but part of me is getting fed up with this nonsense.

Thank you in advance for any advice or feedback you may offer.

cynical one

I would ask Lexie on the FFA board for her opinion. But, I would think since it's your boyfriend's phone that he would be the one that would need to take any action.

alterity

The presence of the image on boyfriend's phone does not preclude her from taking action against the distributor of her likeness, i.e. photo of her. Some states have made "revenge porn" a crime. In states where the dissemination of photos without the subject's permission (revenge porn) is not expressly illegal, a claim could be tried under privacy tort laws. Yogagurl would have to prove 1) that she had a reasonable expectation of privacy in that the original photo would remain in possession of the original recipient and no one else and 2) that the sharing of the photo to persons other than the original recipient has caused her harm.

cynical one

^^^^
Great to know, thank you.

FeelingGreat

Hi Yoga, whoever issued the restraining order, whichever court, should have an enquiry line where you can discuss this. The key is to get onto it as soon as you can so you can demonstrate that you are taking the order seriously.
Don't let the matter slide, thinking it will go away. Even if he gets a visit from the police it will put him on notice. Electronic communication isn't as untraceable as some people think.

Yogagurl

I finally called the number. It was him. He sent the photo to get my attention. I guess because the divorce is around the corner he was looking for a way to talk to me. I don't think at this point I have enough grounds to press charges, but he left me alone when I didn't respond to his text. Even though it sounds nuts, I think that may have been his last attempt. I don't think he will bother me anymore.

Ann

Well his trick worked, you DID talk to him. Dear, the more you play into his tricks, the longer they will continue.

You got some good advice and I don't know why you would not call your lawyer since you must already have one handling the divorce.

I promise you this won't be his "last attempt", the man is still controlling you and will continue as long as you let him.

If you want to be free from him, you can be, simply report any attempts to contact you as the restraining order will account for that and if you engage it may negate the order. And stop talking/texting/e-mailing/communicating...silence will send a strong message.

hopeful4

Ugh Yoga...I am so sorry. You have truly went through hell w/him. I pray this does do the trick. What a creep.

Many hugs!

Yogagurl

Thanks, all, for responding. This has always been my go-to forum for both consolation and really great advice. I called my attorney, and at this point, unless there is more to follow, the text was not directed to me/at me. It was a photo of me sent to someone else's phone. Neither my boyfriend or I have blocked the number from contacting us again, and are not going to in the case he should persist.

I don't try to understand the mentality behind him anymore, because I get there is no logic there. But a relatively sane person would not want to speak to someone who is sharing photos that are violating to personal property, especially my own body.

So, because he could not get in touch with me, he started dating my boyfriends ex wife, got my boyfriends number from her or her children, found an old photo of my butt in some undies, and sent it with no text to my BF. The motives behind that are still not clear to me, but if he thinks he's going to win my affections by doing something like that, well that's insane.

My only summation is the element of control, as Anne stated. He needed to get control over my relationship, or my phone call, or something. Anyone have any input to what kinds of things they have experienced personally with an addict who pulled such stunts to gain control they want to share?

zoso77

Late to this...

YG, I'm sorry that you have to (again) go through this. You're right, of course; there is no reason behind any of this actions to you or I, but to him, he wanted to get to you.

So your first priority is, and will always be, protecting yourself by any and all means necessary and available to you under the law. He is not going to go away. He is not going to give up. With that in mind, act accordingly.

Be safe, and keep us posted.

my1life

In some states the an Order of Protection includes third parties. By not taking action, regardless of who owns the phone the image was sent to, it is a picture of you, and you are giving your approval by not enforcing the order. This could cause you problems later.

alterity

Yogagurl, Did you not read my post above? It doesn't seem like it because you've stated again that the recipient of the photo was not you. Does. Not. Matter.