Confession
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 884
Confession
As I approach 4 months sober, there are some things I did in active addiction to this community that can no longer hide in darkness.
Not only was I battling an addiction to drugs and alcohol but attention seeking behavior. I have behaved appallingly.
Symptoms were exaggerated, situations were embellished and fabricated entirely. Lies were told about getting help and I even used the death of someone for my own selfish purposes.
I am ashamed and mortified with myself. I am sorry. So many have bečn affected by my actions and I can't take it back.
I'm sorry.
Not only was I battling an addiction to drugs and alcohol but attention seeking behavior. I have behaved appallingly.
Symptoms were exaggerated, situations were embellished and fabricated entirely. Lies were told about getting help and I even used the death of someone for my own selfish purposes.
I am ashamed and mortified with myself. I am sorry. So many have bečn affected by my actions and I can't take it back.
I'm sorry.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Fingerlakes,NY
Posts: 4,536
Colonel.....let it go. You are hurting yourself much worse with your guilt than any perception of pain you caused anyone here. We love you and are thrilled you are getting well. Much love my girl.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Northern Ireland
Posts: 290
Congrats on 4 months.
I try regularly to revisit the past and the many awful things that happened as a result of my addiction. Guilt is a part of that. It helps me stay grounded and not get overly confident - it would be so easy to return to that life. But I don't stay there for long - whats happening right now and in the future is much more important.
Good luck
I try regularly to revisit the past and the many awful things that happened as a result of my addiction. Guilt is a part of that. It helps me stay grounded and not get overly confident - it would be so easy to return to that life. But I don't stay there for long - whats happening right now and in the future is much more important.
Good luck
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
Its done, it is over.
Leave it in the past.
Like Dee says there a few of us that have clean slates, me included.
I now have the approach in life that when I go to bed I need to make sure I can say to myself 'have i done the best I can today?'
I ask my self that overnight and remind myself every morning that I need to do my best everyday.
Sometimes it can be hard, I might have to acknowledge that there is behaviour from others I do not agree with and walk away from. Sometimes I feel tired and I can't be bothered, but if things need doing, I push myself to do them especially if others are involved like family.
Its nice to feel proud of yourself and happy and contended.
Leave it in the past.
Like Dee says there a few of us that have clean slates, me included.
I now have the approach in life that when I go to bed I need to make sure I can say to myself 'have i done the best I can today?'
I ask my self that overnight and remind myself every morning that I need to do my best everyday.
Sometimes it can be hard, I might have to acknowledge that there is behaviour from others I do not agree with and walk away from. Sometimes I feel tired and I can't be bothered, but if things need doing, I push myself to do them especially if others are involved like family.
Its nice to feel proud of yourself and happy and contended.
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